"Family Feud" surveys | Season 16

We asked 100 men...
Name something that's not easy to take off of a woman in the heat of passion.

100

BRA	40	PANTIES	10
SHIRT/TURTLENECK	19	JEWELRY	5
PANTS	12	GLASSES	4
NYLONS	10

Name a circus performer who, if they sneezed in the middle of their act, might die.

100

TIGHTROPE WALKER	33	CLOWN/DOING STUNT	5
TRAPEZE ARTIST	31	FIRE-EATER	2
SWORD SWALLOWER	19	JUGGLER/CHAINSAWS	2
LION TAMER	18

We asked 100 women...
Name something you don't like your man looking at while you're talking to him.

100

MY BOUNCY MELONS	24	HIS COMPUTER	10
CHICKS/SLUTTAGE	21	VIDEO GAMES	2
HIS PHONE	21	THE FLOOR	2
TV/SPORTS	20

We asked 100 married men...
In one word, describe your wife's personality using a weather condition.

100

HOT	19	SUNNY	13
CLOUDY/PARTLY	19	COLD	11
WARM	17	RAINY	7
STORMY	14

We asked 100 men...
If you were a hospital patient, what would you rather have a female nurse do for you than a male nurse?

SPONGE ME	65	CLEAN BEDPAN	2
GIVE A SHOT	14	TAKE BLOOD PRESS.	2
SHAVE MY BOD	11	INSERT CATHETER	2
DRESS/UNDRESS ME	3

Name a talent a beauty pageant contestant might demonstrate.

SINGING	62	BATON TWIRLING	3
DANCING/TWERKING	16	SMILING	2
WEARING SWIMSUIT	11	SPEAKING/SPELLING	2
FLUTE/INSTRUMENT	3

We asked 100 married men...
Just between us, what do you wish your wife would do in a more sexy way?

DRESS	54	COOK	6
DANCE	15	WHISPER	5
STRIP	9	SLEEP	2
CLEAN	8

We asked 100 single women...
They say love is blind. But before you marry a man, you'd better make sure to look at his what?

FINANCES	47	HOUSE/BATHROOM	5
PAST/BACKGROUND	24	BODY/HAND SIZE	4
MOM/FAMILY	12	LICENSE/ID	2
LOOKS/TEETH	5

Name something even the laziest man in the world has to do every day.

PEE/PLANT CORN	46	WAKE UP	6
EAT	23	SHAVE	5
SHOWER/WASH OFF	8	PUT ON SHOES	4
SLEEP	7

Name an office supply you'd swallow that might hurt when it comes out the other end.

PAPER CLIP	44	PEN/PENCIL	3
STAPLES	31	SCISSORS	2
TACK/PUSHPIN	12	ERASER	2
STAPLER	5

What did a cavewoman think was sexy about her caveman?

BUFF BOD/STRONG	35	TRENDY CAVE CLOTHES	3
HAIR/ON BODY/UNIBROW	27	SEXY GRUNTS	2
HUNTED FOR GRUB	19	BEING BRAVE/MACHO	2
CARRIED BIG CLUB	11

Name the body part you move the most when you get out on the dance floor.

MY FEET/LEGS	33	MY BACK	3
MY TWERKIN' PATOOTIE	29	MY DANCIN' DONG	2
MY SHAKIRA HIPS	23	MY HEAD/NECK	2
MY ARMS/HANDS	7

We asked 100 married women...
Name a way your husband has changed for the worse since you tied the knot.

FAT TUB OF LARD	24	IGNORES/WORKS 24-7	12
LAZY SLOB	20	CHEATING MAN-SLUT	6
TOTAL TIGHTWAD	16	EVIL/COMPLAINS	6
NO FUN/HOMEBODY	15

Some people have a horse face. What other farm animal might a person's face resemble?

PIG	66	GOAT	4
COW	16	DUCK	2
SHEEP	4	MULE/DONKEY	2
CHICKEN	4

When a grown child moves back home, name something his parents force him to do so he doesn't get too comfortable.

PAY RENT/BILLS	39	TINY ROOM/NO CLOSET	3
CHORES/COOK	29	SLEEP ON COT/SOFA	2
GET A JOB/WORK	18	NO TAPPIN' BOOTY	2
CURFEW/BED BY 9:00	5

Name a word that rhymes with "slinky."

STINKY	33	BINKY	5
KINKY	23	WINKY	2
DINKY	21	BLINKY	2
PINKY	12

Name something the Pillsbury Doughboy likes people to do to his buns.

BAKE/HEAT 'EM	28	PAT/RUB 'EM	6
SQUEEZE/PINCH 'EM	25	TICKLE 'EM	4
EAT/BITE 'EM	17	ROLL/SPREAD 'EM	2
POKE 'EM	16

We asked 100 married women...
What would you do if you saw your husband flirting with your mother?

CONFRONT/REAM OUT	27	DIVORCE THAT MAN-HO	8
LAUGH	22	BE IN SHOCK/FAINT	7
BEAT HIM/AND MAMA	20	MOVE HIM/MOM'S PLACE	3
GET SICK/HURL	11

Name a type of kiss.

FRENCH KISS	68	BUTTERFLY KISS	2
HERSHEY'S KISS	11	KISS ON THE CHEEK	2
FIRST KISS	7	WET KISS	2
PECK	5

Name something elephants do that makes a lot of noise.

TRUMPET/ROAR/SNORT	53	RUN/STAMPEDE	5
WALK	19	STOMP FOOT	2
LET ONE RIP	11	DRINK/SPRAY WATER	2
FIGHT	5

Name a reason a woman might cancel the wedding the night before.

GROOM CHEATED	51	NOT IN LOVE	4
COLD FEET	20	TOO FAT FOR DRESS	2
FOR ANOTHER MAN	11	DEATH/GROOM DIED	2
NOT FEEL'G WELL	7

We asked 100 women...
Where do you put your hands when you kiss a man passionately?

HIS NECK	50	HIS WAIST/BELLY	7
HIS SHOULDERS	11	HIS BACK	7
HAIR/BACK OF HEAD	9	HIS BUTT CHEEKS	5
HIS FACE/CHEEKS	8

Name a circus performer who would be a lot more fun to watch if they performed naked.

TRAPEZE/ACROBAT	45	MAGICIAN	4
CLOWN/BOZO	21	FIRE-EATER/DANCER	2
ANIMAL TRAINER	12	JUGGLER/OF KNIVES	2
TIGHTROPE WALKER	11

If a married man built a secret tunnel under his house, name a place it might lead to.

BAR	38	LIQUOR STORE	5
MAN CAVE	30	HIS BEST BUD'S	2
HUSSY/2ND WIFE	12	GARAGE	2
STRIP JOINT	8

Name something a really cheap doctor might use more than once.

GLOVES	38	COTTON BALL/SWAB	4
TONGUE DEPRESSOR	25	EXAM TABLE PAPER	3
SYRINGE/NEEDLE	18	SURGICAL MASK	2
THERMOMETER/COVER	7

What question should you never ask someone else?

AGE/YOU METHUSELAH?	36	PREGNANT/DUE DATE?	6
WEIGHT/OVER 300?	26	REAL HAIR/WEAVE?	2
INCOME/YOU RICH?	18	WHAT RELIGION?	2
SEX LIFE?	7

When Mrs. Claus is out of town, name something Santa cuddles up with instead.

SMOKIN' HOT ELF	36	A PILLOW/HERS	8
REINDEER/VIXEN	26	MISTRESS/HOUSEWIFE	3
TEDDY BEAR/TOYS	12	BOOK/PENTHOUSE	3
COOKIES/FOOD	9

We asked 100 married men...
You got on one knee to propose. What might you now get on two knees to ask your wife for?

FORGIVENESS/MERCY	35	MONEY	5
SEX/THREESOME	34	A DIVORCE	3
CAR/PORSCHE	12	A BACKRUB	2
A COMPUTER	6

Name something you can pass.

TEST	35	ILLNESS/THE HERPS	6
BALL/FOOTBALL	21	FOOD/DRINK/PLATE	4
GAS	20	STONE/KIDNEY STONE	2
CAR/LANES	9

We asked 100 men...
Name something you'd hate to be wearing when unexpected company arrives.

UNDIES/GOLD THONG	32	WOMEN'S CLOTHES	5
PAJAMAS	21	FAT PANTS/SWEATS	4
NOTHING	19	ROBE	3
DIRTY CLOTHES	13

We asked 100 married men...
Give me a word starting with "B" that describes your wife's behind.

BEAUTIFUL	31	BROAD	4
BIG	24	BUMPY	3
BEEYATCHIN'	17	BLOATED	2
BOOTY/LICIOUS	16

We asked 100 men...
When it comes to a woman's appearance, name something you really don't care about.

CLOTHES/SHOES	29	JEWELRY	7
MAKEUP	26	WEIGHT/FIGURE	6
FEET/TOENAILS	15	HAIR	5
FACE/WONKY EYE	9

Name something you might do at a baseball game that you wouldn't do at a funeral.

CHEER/YELL	68	DO THE WAVE	2
EAT/DRINK BEER	14	WEAR BALL CAP	2
BOO/CUSS	5	SING ANTHEM	2
LAUGH	3

Name something you might take with you when you go to the bathroom.

MAG/BOOK/50 SHADES	48	TOWEL	4
PHONE	25	TABLET/COMPUTER	2
PURSE	9	COMB/BRUSH	2
TISSUE/TP	6

We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: It's important to find a woman who loves you more than her new ________.

OUTFIT/HEELS	44	PURSE	5
CAR	30	BOOBS	2
LOVE WAND/VIBRATOR	7	BEST FRIEND	2
CHIHUAHUA/PET	6

Name something a man should turn off if he wants to turn a woman on.

TV/SPORTS	44	HIS MOUTH	7
HIS 'TUDE/EGO	16	THE LIGHTS	6
HIS PHONE	14	HIS FARTING BUTT	2
COMPUTER/GAMES	7

Name something that has an eye but can't see.

NEEDLE	43	BAT	4
STORM/HURRICANE	22	TARGET/BULL'S-EYE	3
POTATO	17	A STATUE	2
BLIND PERSON	5

We asked 100 men...
After a wild party, name something you'd hate to wake up and look at.

COYOTE-UGLY CHICK	40	VOMIT	5
TRASH/MESS	24	THE CLOCK	4
MYSELF/MIRROR	13	DRUNKS	4
A DEAD BODY	6

We asked 100 married women...
Name something your husband might ask you to put on him.

LOTION/SUNSCREEN	40	MASSAGE OIL	5
A TIE	22	BLANKET	2
SOCKS	18	WHIPPED CREAM/FOOD	2
GLASSES	7

Name a place at work that people get romantic and hope no one walks in.

CLOSET/SUPPLY ROOM	39	COPY ROOM	8
LUNCH/BREAKROOM	20	ELEVATOR	4
OFFICE/THE BOSS'S	12	STAIRWELL	3
BATHROOM	10

We asked 100 married women...
Many women are pear-shaped. What fruit is your husband shaped like?

APPLE	38	GRAPE	3
BANANA	36	PEACH	2
UPSIDE-DOWN PEAR	9	ORANGE	2
MELON/WATERMELON	6

If Santa were back in the dating scene, what would he need to update?

THE RED SUIT	37	HIS HAIRCUT/COLOR	7
WEIGHT/EXERCISE	21	NOTHING/HE'S A STUD	7
PROFILE/FACEBOOK	10	HIS RIDE/SLEIGH	6
HIS WEIRD BEARD	8

We asked 100 women...
Name something a man needs to be considered a trophy husband.

BIG BUCKS/COOL JOB	30	PERSONALITY/HUMOR	3
TALL, BANGIN' BOD	28	LOYALTY/COMMITMENT	3
FINE FACE/HAIR	25	COOKING SKILLS	2
YOUTH	5

Fill in the blank: You thought you bought a watchdog, but all he watches is what?

FOOD/HIS BOWL	29	OTHER DOG/DOG BUTT	4
TV/ANIMAL PLANET	28	HIS SHADOW	3
ME/MY HOT WIFE	24	BIRDS	3
THE CAT	5

We asked 100 single guys...
Tell me something your dad tells you to look for in a woman.

HUMOR/PERSONALITY	21	COOKING SKILLS	11
HOTNESS	20	SMARTS	8
CARING/NURTURES	17	GOOD W/ MONEY	5
LOYALTY/HONESTY	14

Name a sound that can ruin a romantic dinner.

A BOWEL HOWL	71	A SIREN	2
A BURP	7	A BOOM/BOMB	2
CRYING/BABY	6	A HORN	2
A PHONE RINGING	5

We asked 100 women...
Name something about a bodybuilder that's a turn-off.

TOO MUCH MUSCLE	48	TINY TESTES	5
BULGING VEINS	20	STEROID USE	2
OILY SKIN	12	HIS INSECURITY	2
NO NECK	6

Name something you might text your boss about because you're too chicken to tell her in person.

TAKING OFF/SICK	44	I WANT A RAISE!	3
I QUIT - BITE ME!	25	I'M PREGNANT	3
I'LL BE LATE	13	YOU'RE HOT/LOVE YOU	3
I SCREWED UP	4

Name something you hope you didn't do on a table while you were drunk.

DANCE	43	SLEEP	5
BLOW CHUNKS	25	SLAP SOME SALAMI	5
PEE/DROP A DEUCE	8	SPILL/MY MAI TAI	3
STRIP	6

Name something romantic you feel like doing whenever you hear a Barry White song.

DANCING	43	COOKING/EATING	3
SMOOCH'G/CUDDLING	18	DRINKING WINE	2
PETTING THE HAMSTER	16	TAKING A BATH	2
SINGING/SERENADING	11

Name something a divorced man kisses good-bye.

HIS MONEY	41	HIS DOG	4
WIFE/FROM HELL	22	WEDDING RING	3
HIS HOUSE	17	HOME-COOKED MEALS	2
HIS KIDS	6

Name something a cheap couple might ask guests to bring to their wedding.

BOOZE/CHAMPAGNE	40	PLATES/SILVERWARE	4
FOOD/CAKE	27	CHAIRS	3
CASH	11	RICE TO THROW	3
FLOWERS/DECORATION	7

Name something Justin Bieber won't have in five years if he doesn't change his ways.

CAREER/FANS	40	CITIZENSHIP/VISA	3
BALLER CASH	17	DRIVER'S LICENSE	3
FREEDOM FROM JAIL	16	A BABE/LOVE	2
A PULSE/HIS LIFE	14

We asked 100 men...
Name a wild animal that reminds you of some wild women.

COUGAR	30	LION	8
TIGER	27	WILD HORSE	2
CHEETAH	16	BADGER	2
SNAKE	10

A 100-year-old man flirts with a 100-year-old woman by saying, "I like the way you wear your" what?

DENTURES	27	HEARING AID	7
DUDS/SUPPORT HOSE	25	GLASSES	2
HAIR/WIG	23	BIB	2
OXYGEN MASK/TUBE	9

We asked 100 men...
What musical instrument reflects your lovemaking style?

GUITAR/ELECTRIC	19	VIOLIN	13
DRUMS	16	CELLO	11
PIANO/KEYBOARD	14	SAXOPHONE	9
TRUMPET	13

If there were a KFC for cannibals, what part of a person would they order a bucket of?

THIGHS/LEGS	44	FEET/TOES	6
FINGERS/HANDS	17	BRAINS	3
BREASTS	11	RIBS	3
ARMS	10

We asked 100 married women...
If you could change one part of your husband's body, what would it be?

BELLY/ABS	40	NASTY/TINY FEET	3
HAIR/BALD HEAD	25	BIRD LEGS	2
PUNY ARMS	13	UGLY FACE/NOSE	2
FLAT/FURRY/MOM BUTT	9

We asked 100 single men...
What's the number one reason you're still single?

FREEDOM/TO DATE	34	BUSY/NO TIME	7
CAN'T FIND THE ONE	22	CHICKS ARE BONKERS	5
FEAR COMMITMENT	12	I'M SOOO SHY	3
BROKE AS A JOKE	11

We asked 100 married men...
We won't tell your wife, but what movie monster does your mother-in-law remind you of?

FRANKENSTEIN	23	DRACULA	11
GODZILLA	19	A ZOMBIE	9
HULK	13	A WITCH	6
KING KONG	13

When they say "A good one is hard to find," they mean a good what?

MAN/WOMAN	78	DOCTOR/DENTIST	2
POLITICIAN	4	CANTALOUPE/FOOD	2
FRIEND	3	MECHANIC	2
JOB	2

Name something you could mention to a cannibal that would stop him from eating you.

I'M SICK/JOCK ITCH	69	I'M SKINNY/NO MEAT	3
FATTY/CHOLESTEROL	7	I'M POISONOUS	3
I'M TOUGH	5	THAT GUY'S TASTIER!	3
I TASTE BAD	3

Name something on his desk that a bored office worker might try to shove up his nose.

PEN/PENCIL	64	LETTER OPENER	2
PAPER CLIP	14	KLEENEX	2
ERASER	7	PIECE OF PAPER	2
FINGER	2

Name someone you tip who would be very upset if you shoved it down their pants like you do a stripper.

WAITER/WAITRESS	63	CABBIE	3
HAIRDRESSER/BARBER	12	PIZZA GUY	3
VALET	6	DOORMAN	2
MAIL PERSON	4

Name something you'd be surprised the lifeguard did while giving you mouth-to-mouth.

KISSED/TONGUED ME	60	SNEEZED	4
COPPED A FEEL	12	CHEWED/SPIT GUM	4
BURPED	7	FAINTED	2
LAUGHED/SMILED	4

Name something bad about a guy that doesn't show up in a photo.

PERSONALITY/EGO	47	FAT/SKINNY	7
REEKS/BAD BREATH	15	FACIAL FLAW/TEETH	4
CHARACTER/CHEATS	9	HE'S A GHOST	3
SUCKS BLOOD/VAMPIRE	8

Name a reason your bottom might be wiggling.

DANCING/TO HANSON	39	HORNY/GETTIN' SOME	5
I'M A LARD BUTT	29	GOTTA PEE/THE TROTS	3
I'M WALK'G/RUNNING	8	BUGS/WORMS IN BUTT	2
ITCHY/GOT 'RHOIDS	7

Name a word that rhymes with "tweeter."

SWEETER	37	HEATER	8
PETER	13	METER	7
BEATER	12	CHEATER	5
SKEETER	11

Name something that's measured by the cup.

FLOUR	31	WATER	8
SUGAR	26	COFFEE	3
BRA/DAIRY PILLOWS	14	OATMEAL	2
MILK	9

Before a date, name something a guy who works in a deli might shove down his pants.

SALAMI/MEAT	74	BOOZE/CHEAP WINE	2
MONEY/WALLET	5	HIS SHIRTTAIL	2
NAPKINS	4	CONDOM	2
BREAD/HARD ROLL	3

Name something you shouldn't be thinking about during a church sermon.

SEX/WITH HOT PASTOR	63	GETTIN' OUTTA THERE	4
FOOD/PIZZA	9	WORK	2
SPORTS/FOOTBALL	8	DOZING OFF	2
DRINKING/BAR	4

Fill in the blank: Instead of "I do," a bride would hate to hear the groom say "I ________."

DON'T/WON'T	59	AM OUTTA HERE	3
CAN'T	13	NEED TO THINK	2
GUESS/THINK SO	9	AM ALREADY MARRIED	2
MIGHT	4

Name something most women don't do on a first date.

PET THE PEACOCK	58	EAT	3
SWAP SPIT/KISS	20	FART/CONTEST	2
PAY	4	DRINK/GET SLOSHED	2
GET MARRIED	3

Name the worst thing to not show up for.

WEDDING	57	DOCTOR/PROCEDURE	4
FUNERAL/YOUR OWN	16	COURT	3
JOB/INTERVIEW	5	AUDIT	3
SURPRISE PARTY	4

Name something a wife has that might make her husband afraid of her.

GUN/WEAPON	50	SUPER GLUE	3
BAD TEMPER	17	A LAWYER	3
MONEY/CREDIT CARD	14	HAIRY LEGS	2
HULK MUSCLES	3

Name something about Abraham Lincoln that in his day made Abe a hot babe.

CHIN STRAP BEARD	49	HIS BRAIN	3
HIS HEIGHT	27	HIS TRENDY HAIR	2
2 WORDS: TOP HAT	5	HIS DEEP EYES	2
PRESIDENT/POWER	4

Name a place where you'd be embarrassed to burp out loud, or at least you should be.

CHURCH/SYNAGOGUE	48	MOVIE/THEATER	4
RESTAURANT	21	FUNERAL	3
WORK/MEETING	8	LIBRARY	3
WEDDING	5

Name something you might do with a dead pet that you wouldn't do with a dead relative.

BURY/IN MY YARD	47	CRY/MOURN	4
STUFF IT	25	LEAVE IN WOODS	2
FLUSH IT	7	PET/CUDDLE	2
GARBAGE/DUMP	5

Name something a ventriloquist might tell his wife not to do in front of his dummy.

UNDRESS	46	DANCE	2
TALK/YELL/CUSS	22	LIGHT MATCH/SMOKE	2
LAUGH AT IT	9	CHOP WOOD	2
KISS/BOINK	9

We asked 100 married men...
Tell me one word you wouldn't want to see your wife search for on Google.

DIVORCE	42	HITMAN	8
PREGNANT	11	BOOBS	5
DATING	11	HUNKS	5
STD	10

Name a secret the best man might know about the groom that the bride doesn't.

HE CHEATS	38	HE SNORES	3
# OF EX-LOVERS	31	HAS KIDS	3
BACHELOR PARTY	10	HAS STD/CRABFEST	2
BI/WILD FOR WEENIE	5

We asked 100 men...
Name something you might like about living life as a woman.

BOOBS/TO PLAY WITH	38	GET MORE SEX	5
MEN PAYING FOR ME	25	CLOTHES/NO TIE	5
MEN WANTING ME	9	GIVING BIRTH	3
BEING MANIPULATIVE	7

Name something a mama's boy likes to do with his mother.

SHOP	35	TALK/ON PHONE	7
EAT/DINE OUT	16	WATCH TV/"PSYCHO"	5
COOK/BAKE	14	LIVE/BE WITH HER	5
KISS/SNUGGLE	10

We asked 100 men...
Name a reason other men envy you.

I'M A BRAINIAC	27	TALL/BOD OF A GOD	12
BEST. MATE. EVER.	17	FACE LIKE DENZEL	7
HUMOR/PERSONALITY	12	MY GOLF GAME	5
GOT $ LIKE TRUMP	12

We asked 100 married men...
Name a specific musical instrument that sounds like your wife in the bedroom.

TUBA	25	FLUTE	11
VIOLIN/FIDDLE	17	DRUMS/BONGOS	5
TRUMPET	16	PIANO	3
TROMBONE	15

Name something a teenage boy might practice his kissing technique on.

MIRROR	24	FRUIT/KUMQUAT	7
DOLL/BLOW-UP	22	HIS DOG	4
HAND/ARM	19	TEENAGE GIRL	3
PILLOW	13

We asked 100 husbands...
Name something you wish you had the nerve to tell your wife.

STOP SPENDING $	18	GET A JOB	13
YES, YOU'RE FAT	17	UGLY/HO-ISH CLOTHES	11
MORE SEX/SPANK ME	14	DRIVING SUCKS	5
GET LOST/BYE	14

We asked 100 women...
Give me a word that describes the way you like your candy and your man.

SWEET	59	SMOOTH	2
HARD	12	TASTY	2
CHOCOLATE	10	NUTTY	2
SOFT	4

Besides his home, name a place a man might completely remove his pants.

DOCTOR/HOSPITAL	47	SWIMMING POOL	6
GYM LOCKER ROOM	19	BEACH/OCEAN	3
DRESSING ROOM	7	GIRLFRIEND'S HOME	3
MOTEL/HOTEL	6

Name something a camel has that a person could also have.

A HUMP	46	SEXY EYES/LASHES	7
HOT TONGUE/MOUTH	17	LEGS/KNOBBY KNEES	4
TOE	7	HAIR	3
WATER RETENTION	7

We asked 100 women...
If you ran your fingers through a man's hair, what would you hate to find in it?

LICE/BUGS	45	GEL	6
DANDRUFF	13	EXTENSIONS	3
DIRT	13	FOOD	2
OIL/GREASE	9

Name a kind of place where people pour their heart out to a complete stranger.

BAR	42	BEAUTY SHOP	3
DOCTOR/THERAPIST	17	INTERNET/DATE SITE	3
CHURCH/CONFESSION	16	PARTY	3
AA MEETING	7

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: My man is a love what?

MACHINE	42	HOUND	8
BUG	14	MAGNET	4
MUFFIN	10	BOAT	3
ADDICT	10

Name a place you go where loud people can ruin your enjoyment.

MOVIES/THEATER	33	SPORTING EVENT	6
EATERY/WAFFLE HOUSE	23	CONCERT/SUSAN BOYLE	5
LIBRARY	11	PARK	3
BAR/CLUB	10

Name a complaint a man might have about his car that he might also have about his wife.

WON'T START/SLOW	30	COLD	7
OLD/LOTS OF MILES	18	DIRTY/SMELLS	4
LOUD/NOISY	17	HARD ON THE EYES	4
COST/HIGH MAINT.	11

We asked 100 women...
When you see a man and it's love at first sight, what might he have that ruins it?

BAD/GOPHER TEETH	27	A TEMPER	9
DRAGON BREATH/B.O.	21	BAD MANNERS	3
WOMAN/RING	18	A CIGARETTE	3
EGO/BAD PERSONALITY	10

In the middle of his wedding vows, a man might feel like he's going to what?

FAINT	46	RUN/GET COLD FEET	5
BLOW CHUNKS	18	CRY	4
FORGET THEM/MESS UP	7	JAIL/FOR LIFE	4
DIE	6

A wife calls her mom when she's having marital problems. Who does her husband call?

HIS BUDDY	45	HIS LOVER	6
NO ONE	14	A LAWYER	6
HIS MOM	8	A CHEAP HOOKER	5
HIS DAD	6

There was a wild party last night at the nursing home and everybody got what?

DRUNK	45	MEDS/DRUGGED	6
TIRED/SLEEPY	12	CRAZY/LOUD	6
LUCKY/WITH MILDRED	9	HURT	4
NAKED	8

Name something an airline pilot might turn on after the plane takes off.

LIGHTS/SIGNS	26	HIMSELF/KINKY CREW	6
AUTOPILOT	22	SPEAKER/PA SYSTEM	5
MUSIC/KENNY G.	19	MOVIE/SAFETY VIDEO	4
AIR CONDITIONING	8

Give me another way people say the word "jail."

SLAMMER	25	THE JOINT	7
PRISON	24	CLINK	5
POKEY	16	PEN	4
BIG HOUSE	9

Name a reason you might put your finger in your mouth.

PICK TEETH	23	SUCK CUT FINGER	4
LICK/TASTE	22	THINK	4
BITE NAILS	20	FLOSS	3
WHISTLE	14

We asked 100 married women...
Name something you give your husband when he's in a grumpy mood.

FOOD/CHEEZ WHIZ	23	TV REMOTE	8
THE NOTORIOUS V.A.G.	20	A DRINK/BEER	7
MASSAGE	14	HUG/KISS	6
HIS SPACE	12

We asked 100 men...
Name something you hope a woman doesn't do the first time you make love to her.

FART	20	LAUGH	13
FALL ASLEEP	15	CRY	10
SCREAM/MOAN	15	SAY WRONG NAME	3
TALK/COMPLAIN	14

Fill in the blank: A man might warn a woman that he's got ________.

DISEASE/CHLAMYDIA	48	TO FART...BADLY	6
A WIFE/GIRLFRIEND	9	DEATH BREATH	5
KIDS/FROM 7 WOMEN	9	DERANGED/CLINGY MOM	4
A TEMPER	8

Name something people blow into.

BALLOON	45	TISSUE/HANKY	5
HORN/INSTRUMENT	17	WHISTLE	4
BREATHALYZER	10	BAG/PAPER BAG	3
STRAW	5

For you, what's the worst kind of music to make love to?

RAP/HIP-HOP	40	JAZZ	6
COUNTRY	19	OPERA	5
HEAVY/DEATH METAL	9	POP/GANGNAM STYLE	3
ROCK	7

Name a celebrity you've gotten sick of hearing about.

JUSTIN BIEBER	32	PARIS HILTON	4
KIM KARDASHIAN	22	TOM CRUISE	3
MILEY CYRUS	20	BEYONCE	3
LINDSAY LOHAN	5

In her will, name a place a woman might request to have her ashes scattered to make sure her husband visits.

BATHROOM/HOME	21	BALLPARK/STADIUM	10
LOCAL BAR	20	FISHING HOLE/LAKE	8
GOLF COURSE	13	STRIP JOINT	4
BEACH/OCEAN	13

Name a mean way to break up with someone.

TEXT/"ADIOS LOSER"	59	ASSAULT/THROW PIE	4
E-MAIL	6	SOMEONE ELSE DO IT	4
SOC. MEDIA/#ITSOVER	6	YELL INSULTS	4
IGNORE/DON'T CALL	5

Name something people eat that comes in the shape of a ball.

ORANGE	46	CHEESE	5
MEATBALL	14	RICE BALLS	2
MELON	13	MATZO BALLS	2
APPLE	6

Name something that even when it's bad, it's good.

FOOD/DESSERT	42	MUSIC/THE OSMONDS	6
NOOKIE/3-SOME	16	COFFEE	5
MOVIE/TV SHOW	10	JOKE/COMEDY	2
BOOZE	7

Name something a party guest might do that would get him kicked out.

GET DRUNK	41	BLOW CHUNKS	6
START A FIGHT	15	GET TOO LOUD	4
BE LEWD/INSULT HOST	11	PEE/IN HOUSEPLANT	3
BREAK SOMETHING	8

We asked 100 men...
Name the sexiest job a woman can have.

STRIPPER/DANCER	40	WAITRESS/HOOTERS	6
NURSE	17	C.E.O.	3
MODEL	11	WIFE	3
LIBRARIAN	8

Name someone who is paid to remove something.

TRASH COLLECTOR	33	MOVER	4
DENTIST/DOCTOR	27	TREE/BUSH REMOVER	4
EXTERMINATOR	13	STRIPPER	3
ANIMAL CONTROL	4

Name something you hope a man doesn't do when you slow dance with him.

FONDLE/MY BOOTY	24	GRIND/DRY HUMP	8
STEP ON MY FEET	23	SNEEZE/COUGH	6
"PITCH A TENT"	12	KISS/SLIP TONGUE	5
FART/TO THE MUSIC	10

If a man died while cheating on his wife, name something his wife might do with his ashes.

FLUSH 'EM	39	BURN 'EM AGAIN	5
PUT IN TRASH	21	NOT CLAIM THEM	4
GIVE/FEED TO HIS HO	9	BURY/POTTING SOIL	3
PEE ON 'EM	6

Name something women wear that was obviously designed by a man because it's uncomfortable but sexy.

BRA	38	BIKINI	7
HEELS/GO-GO BOOTS	10	JEANS/PANTS	7
PANTYHOSE/NYLONS	10	CORSET	6
THONG/PANTIES	9

Name something a wife gets tired of having to ask her husband for.

MONEY	29	KISS/MAKE LOVE	4
TAKE OUT TRASH	21	HOUSE REPAIRS	4
CLEAN HOME/LAUNDRY	18	TOILET SEAT DOWN	3
ATTENTION/TIME	8

We asked 100 married women...
Give me a word starting with a "W" that describes your husband in bed.

WONDERFUL	25	WEIRD	7
WILD	22	WHINY	7
WINNING/WINNER	12	WARM	5
WOW	9

Name an animal that poops a lot.

DOG/GREAT DANE	26	COW	10
BIRD/CHICKEN	18	CAT	5
HORSE	12	GUINEA PIG	3
RABBIT	12

If you were a contestant on the show "Dating Naked," what would you do to get ready for your date?

SHAVE/LANDING STRIP	25	TAN/SPRAY TAN	5
GET IN SHAPE/DIET	20	NEW HAIRDO/WEAVE	5
SHOWER	17	PUT ON MAKEUP	4
GET NAKED	10

If a man's kicked out of the house for the night, name something he might take with him.

PILLOW/BLANKET	24	CLOTHES/SHOES	11
CAR/CAR KEYS	14	HIS DOG	7
WALLET/MONEY	14	BEER/BOOZE	4
CELL PHONE	12

Name a place you'd be surprised to see an old couple making out.

CHURCH	22	BEACH	5
MOVIES	20	MALL/FOREVER 21	4
PARK/WATER PARK	17	BAR/CLUB	4
CAR/BACKSEAT	14

We asked 100 men...
Name a big, beautiful woman whose underpants are bigger than yours.

OPRAH	21	KIM KARDASHIAN	9
QUEEN LATIFAH	16	KIRSTIE ALLEY	8
PAULA DEEN	12	ADELE	8
MELISSA MCCARTHY	12

We asked 100 women...
Some men are pigs. What barnyard animal might you compare your man to?

HORSE/STALLION	18	PIG	9
COW/STEER/BULL	17	SHEEP/LAMB	9
JACKASS/DONKEY	16	DOG	6
ROOSTER/CHICKEN	11

Name something a department store Santa has within reach when he's working.

CANDY/CANES	37	HAND WIPE/TISSUE	6
ELF/HELPER	21	WATER	5
FLASK/VODKA SHOTS	6	CHILDREN	4
SACK OF TOYS	6

If a stripper was also a magician, name something she might pull out of her G-string.

RABBIT	36	HANDKERCHIEF	4
MONEY/COIN	32	MAGIC WAND	2
VIBRATING JOY TOY	5	FOOD/EGGPLANT	2
FLOWER	4

Name a major event in your life most people hope they only have to go through once.

WEDDING/MARRIAGE	34	CHILDBIRTH	6
SCHOOL/GRADUATION	14	PUBERTY	5
DEATH/FUNERAL	13	BREAKUP/DIVORCE	4
SURGERY	9

Fill in the blank: A man might fake his own death to get out of ________.

MARRIAGE/RELA'SHIP	32	VISITING IN-LAWS	5
ALIMONY/CHILD SUPP.	19	PARTY/SHOWER	3
DEBT/TAXES	15	SHOPPING	3
JAIL/PRISON TIME	8

Name something a husband might worry his wife will do to him someday.

LEAVE/DIVORCE	31	KILL HIM	7
CHEAT	29	REFUSE SEX	2
TAKE ALL HIS MONEY	7	MAKE GET VASECTOMY	2
CHOP "IT" OFF	7

Name an animal you wouldn't want to be standing behind if it had beans for lunch.

ELEPHANT	27	COW	5
DOG	18	DONKEY/MULE	4
HORSE	16	HUMAN/GRAMPS	3
BEAR	12

We asked 100 men...
Name something about a woman that makes you decide she's a keeper.

PERSONALITY/FUNNY	25	DOESN'T TALK/MUTE	6
PRETTY FACE/SMILE	21	SIZZLES IN SACK	6
GOURMET COOK	14	GOT BACK/RACK	5
MORAL/HONEST	8

What do you think dogs talk about to other dogs?

OWNERS/HUMANS	36	CATS	4
FOOD/EATING	26	POOP/FAVE DUMP SPOT	4
SMELLS	6	TERRITORY/GO AWAY	4
BONES	4

Name something a mailman might carry in his bag in case he meets a lonely housewife.

CONDOM/"MAIL BAG"	36	BOTTLE OF WINE	6
CANDY/CHOCOLATES	16	COLOGNE	4
BREATH SPRAY/MINT	9	HIS BUSINESS CARD	4
FLOWERS	9

Name something that warms your buns.

TOASTER/OVEN	35	HEATER	6
HEATED SEAT/CAR	12	FIRE/FIREPLACE	6
HEATING PAD	11	CLOTHES/PANTS	4
LOVER'S HAND/SPANK	10

Name a reason a man might ask for his money back at a strip club.

BUTT-UGLY GIRLS	34	BAR/SERVICE SUCKS	8
BAD DANCERS	17	CHUBBY CHICKS	5
THE NUDES ARE DUDES	9	SHOW CANCELLED	3
NO NAKEDNESS	8

Name something you'd hate to fall off of you in the middle of a hot date.

CLOTHES/PANTS	33	JEWELRY/EARRING	3
HAIR/TOUPEE	30	DANDRUFF/SKIN	3
FALSE LASHES/BROWS	8	BOOB/BULGE PADDING	3
GLASSES/CONTACTS	4

Name something of your neighbor's you'd hate to see in your dog's mouth.

CAT/PET	27	TRASH/DIAPER	5
BODY/TONGUE	22	FLOWERS	3
CLOTHES/SHOES	17	KIDS' TOYS	3
NEWSPAPER	7

Name something people do to their dogs that a wife might want to do to her husband.

BATHE/GROOM HIM	24	DOGHOUSE/PUT OUT	10
KISS/HUG/PET HIM	19	MAKE HIM BEG	5
COLLAR/LEASH HIM	11	NEUTER HIM	5
WALK/RUN HIM	10

Name something spring breakers bring back from Mexico.

THE CLAP/SQUIRTS	30	TATTOO	4
TEQUILA/BOOZE	21	FOOD	4
A TAN/SUNBURN	11	DRUGS/GOOD WEED	4
HAT/SOMBRERO	9

We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: I'd never date a woman who has a what?

HUSBAND/MATE	24	SMOKING HABIT	10
BIG MOUTH	14	KID	6
BEARD/MUSTACHE	13	PUSHY MOTHER	5
BAD ATTITUDE	11

Name something a man wears at home that his wife won't let him wear in public.

TORN/TACKY SHIRT	21	SLIPPERS/OLD SHOES	8
SKIVVIES/THONG	15	WIFE'S DUDS/HEELS	8
PAJAMAS/ROBE	13	SHORTS/BIKE SHORTS	8
SWEATS	10

We asked 100 women...
Name something you'd do to a guy who dumped you on your birthday.

FORGET HIM/MOVE ON	17	TELL OTHERS/FACEB'K	11
TRASH CAR/TIRES	16	CAKE/DRINK ON HIM	9
YELL/CUSS OUT	13	POST NUDE PICS	4
PUNCH/KICK HIM	13

Name something you hope doesn't happen when your boss comes over for dinner.

BAD MEAL/BURNT	57	UNINVITED GUESTS	4
YOU/THEY GET DRUNK	6	YOU/THEY FART	3
FOOD POISON/ALLERGY	5	KIDS MISBEHAVE	3
THEY FIRE YOU	4

If a nursing home hired a stripper, what might the old guys put in her G-string?

DENTURES/ADHESIVE	41	THEIR BONY FINGERS	4
MONEY/COINS	19	DEPENDS	3
FOOD/JELL-O/PEPPER	7	KLEENEX/HANKY	3
PILLS/TUMS	5

Name a specific word that would describe a cup of coffee and Steve Harvey.

BLACK	36	STRONG	5
DARK	14	RICH	5
HOT	11	STEAMY	4
SMOOTH	7

Name something a nudist would wear to the nudist colony formal ball.

TIE/BOWTIE	33	CROWN/TIARA	6
TOP HAT	17	FLOWER/CORSAGE	4
JEWELRY/WATCH	11	RIBBON/AROUND NADS	4
SHOES/HEELS	7

Name a fancy car a stripper might use as her stage name.

PORSCHE	27	JAGUAR	7
MERCEDES	19	CORVETTE	4
LEXUS	11	MUSTANG	3
FERRARI	11

Name something you do to the hair on your head that you'd never do to your armpit hair.

BRUSH/TEASE IT	27	COLOR IT	9
CURL/PERM IT	12	SHAMPOO/CONDITION	8
CUT IT	11	BLOW-DRY IT	5
BRAID IT	10

We asked 100 women...
Name a way your man is like a good cut of meat.

LEAN	24	PRIME	7
TENDER	19	RARE	6
BEEFY	11	WELL-DONE	5
JUICY	10

Name something you pick up.

LITTER/TRASH	22	BABY/KIDS	10
LAUNDRY/CLOTHES	15	MONEY/COINS	9
BABE/STUD MUFFIN	12	THE CLAP/DISEASE	3
GROCERIES/FOOD	11

Name a musical instrument that could be used as a murder weapon.

TUBA	20	DRUM/DRUMSTICK	7
GUITAR/GUITAR STRING	18	CLARINET	6
FLUTE	16	SAXOPHONE	5
PIANO/PIANO WIRE	10

We asked 100 married women...
If your house were burning, name something you hope your husband wouldn't try to save before you.

COMPUTER	17	PET/FISH	11
CAR	13	GOLF CLUBS	9
VIDEO GAMES/XBOX	12	WALLET/MONEY	8
THE TV	12

Name something you wouldn't want the person sitting next to you on an airplane to be holding.

GUN/KNIFE/BOMB	37	NEWSPAPER	3
BABY	26	DRINK/HOT BEVERAGE	3
ANIMAL/SNAKE	5	ONION/GARLIC	3
BARF BAG	4

Name something men love to watch that starts with the letter "B."

BASEBALL	39	BALLET	4
BABIES	13	BABES	4
BOOBS/BREASTS	12	BAYWATCH	4
BASKETBALL	4

Name something that lives in the ocean that reminds you of your boss.

SHARK	34	OCTOPUS	6
CRAB	12	DOLPHIN	5
EEL	11	JELLYFISH	5
WHALE	7

What's the first question Eve might have asked Adam?

WHO ARE YOU, STUD?	25	WHERE ARE WE?	5
LORDY! THAT A PETER?	24	ANY OTHER HUMANS?	3
HUNGRY/APPLE?	15	SINGLE/STRAIGHT?	3
POKETH ME?	5

Name something a waitress might put in a rude customer's food.

SPIT	22	PEPPER/SPICES	8
HAIR	15	BOOGER/SNOT	7
HER FINGER	15	HOT SAUCE	4
BUG/COCKROACH	9

Name a place where you'd panic if the toilet didn't flush after you used it.

FRIEND'S HOUSE	21	CHURCH	9
WORK/INTERVIEW	16	RESTAURANT	6
MATE'S/DATE'S PAD	15	AIRPLANE	4
IN-LAWS' HOME	9

If you wound up in hell, name something you wish you had brought with you.

WATER/ICE	40	BOOK/BIBLE	3
FAN/AIR CONDITIONER	20	COLD BREWSKI	3
COMPUTER/IPAD	6	HOT BABE/KIM K.	3
MY SPOUSE	4

Name a place no one wants to admit they are headed.

DOCTOR/PSYCH WARD	22	THE GRAVE	6
HELL	21	STRIP JOINT	6
PRISON/MAX SECURITY	11	"THE POORHOUSE"	3
BATHROOM/CRAPPER	10

Name something a husband wouldn't want his wife to give him.

CRABS/DISEASE	30	DIET BOOK/DIET FOOD	3
DIVORCE PAPERS	18	BABY/THE POOL BOY'S	3
CLOTHES/THONG	17	JEWELRY	3
"A HARD TIME"	4

Name a zoo animal you would be surprised had the name "Cuddles."

LION	24	TIGER	9
BEAR	13	ELEPHANT	8
SNAKE/PYTHON	9	PORCUPINE	6
GATOR/CROC	9

We asked 100 women...
What's the sexiest job a man can have?

FIREMAN	20	LAWYER	9
COP	13	CONSTRUCTION/BUILDER	7
DAD	11	MASSEUR	7
STRIPPER/DANCER	10

Name something that makes a man feel free.

DIVORCE/SINGLE	26	BOXERS	6
GOING COMMANDO/NAKED	15	MOTORCYCLE	5
MONEY	10	FRESH AIR/NATURE	5
CAR/DRIVING FAST	9

Women take forever to get dressed. What do men take forever to do?

CHORES	31	MAKE DECISIONS	6
POOP	17	ASK DIRECTIONS	5
PROPOSE	7	SHOWER	3
SHAVE	6

Fill in the blank: Some wives treat their husbands like children and forbid them to ________.

GO OUT/LATE	26	SHOP/SPEND $	7
SNACK/IN BED	12	CHEAT/OGLE BABES	6
SPEAK	10	CUSS	5
DRINK BOOZE	8

Name something you'd be surprised to find out your elderly neighbor used to be.

STRIPPER	41	COP	5
PRO HO/GIGOLO	9	A DIFFERENT SEX	4
SINGER/ACTOR	5	SPY/CIA	4
CRIMINAL/HITMAN	5

Name something a husband would be shocked to see his wife wearing.

MENSWEAR/JOCKSTRAP	27	MINISKIRT	3
BIRTHDAY SUIT	19	LEATHER/DOMINATRIX	3
HOT LINGERIE/THONG	12	BIKINI/SWIMSUIT	3
DRESS/GOWN	5

Name something specific a husband would actually be happy to see his wife spend money on.

FOOD/RED MEAT	21	TOOLS	5
SLUTTY CLOTHES	18	90-INCH HDTV	5
CARS	11	DIET PILLS/GYM	4
IMPLANTS/SURGERY	7

Name something you don't ever want to be stuck in or you'll freak out.

ELEVATOR	45	CAR/TRAFFIC	4
QUICKSAND	6	PORTA POTTY/TOILET	3
COFFIN/GRAVE	5	DARK ALLEY	3
CAVE	4

Besides smoking, what do you wish there was a pill to stop you from doing?

EATING/GAINING LBS.	41	MAKING BAD CHOICES	3
BOOZING	12	DYING	3
SLEEPING	5	SHOPPING/SPENDING	3
BITING/PICKING NAILS	3

Fill in the blank: I secretly wish I were a professional ________.

ATHLETE/WRESTLER	23	WRITER/BLOGGER	6
SINGER/MUSICIAN	19	ESCORT/HO	4
DANCER/STRIPPER	8	CHEF/BAKER	4
ACTOR/COMEDIAN	6

What wouldn't you do even for a million dollars?

KILL/SOMEONE	35	LIE	4
SELL MY BOD/CHEAT	11	NOTHING	4
STEAL	6	EAT A BUG	4
JUMP OFF BLDG/BRIDGE	5

We asked 100 married women...
Tell me an "S" word that describes your husband.

SWEET/HEART	17	STUBBORN	8
SEXY	12	SUPER/-DUPER	7
SMART	10	STRONG	5
SLOPPY	9

Name something a doctor might pull out of a person.

APPENDIX	15	A BABY	7
TEETH	14	TICK/LEECH/BUG	6
SPLINTER/SLIVER	12	STONE/KIDNEY STONE	5
TONSILS	7

Name something that's painful for a man to do.

ADMIT WRONG/"SORRY"	35	GET VASECTOMY	4
GET DIRECTIONS	8	THE SPLITS	3
CLEAN HOUSE	7	BE MONOGAMOUS	3
CRY	5

We asked 100 men...
Who is the hottest woman in the world?

MY WIFE	21	MY MOTHER	6
ANGELINA JOLIE	10	HALLE BERRY	6
JENNIFER ANISTON	10	JENNIFER LOPEZ	5
EVA LONGORIA	7

Name something people have trouble holding.

JOB/EMPLOYMENT	18	KIDS/BABIES	4
MONEY	15	THEIR BLADDER	4
SECRETS/THEIR TONGUE	11	BAR OF SOAP	4
THEIR BREATH	8

Name something you wish wouldn't make so much noise when you use it.

VACUUM	19	BLENDER	5
LAWN MOWER/TRIMMER	12	HAIR DRYER	5
VIBRATOR	10	TOILET	5
CAR	6

Name something you've considered paying money to get rid of.

BUGS/PESTS	20	JUNK/TRASH	6
FAT/WEIGHT	10	HAIR/GRAY HAIR	5
MY NEIGHBORS	8	OLD CAR/CLUNKER	5
MY EX	7

Name something that might be hot and dirty.

PERSON/FURRY PITS	14	ROAD	4
NOOKIE	13	OVEN/STOVE	3
CAR/ENGINE	13	POT/PAN	3
SAND/DESERT/BEACH	9

We asked 100 women...
Name something you do just like a dude.

BURP	12	WORK	7
EAT	9	SIT	7
DRIVE	8	CUSS	7
DRINK/BOOZE	8

Back to index