We asked 100 men...
Name something you love to do to women's feet.
 

100

MASSAGE/RUB 'EM

72

LOOK AT/ADMIRE 'EM

6

TICKLE 'EM

8


SOAK 'EM

7


KISS 'EM

7








Name a part of your body you might try to clean out with your finger.
 

99

WAXY EAR

74

CRUSTY EYE

4

BOOGER-LADEN NOSE

13


FINGERNAIL

4


BELLY BUTTON

4








We asked 100 men...
Name a reason your ex is your ex.
 

99

TWO-BIT HO

70

LONG DISTANCE

4

MEAN/CRAY-CRAY

10


DIFFERENT INTERESTS

8


PATHOLOGICAL LIAR

7








We asked 100 women...
Name a superhero costume your man is too out of shape to wear.
 

99

SUPERMAN

66

THOR

2

SPIDER-MAN

15


BATMAN

13


CAPTAIN AMERICA

3








We asked 100 married women...
What would your husband just love to see you do around the house topless?
 

99

CLEAN/VACUUM

55

DANCE

3

COOK

27


WATCH TV

11


BRUSH MY LONG HAIR

3








We asked 100 married women...
Name something you'd do if your husband made reservations for the two of you on a swingers cruise.
 

99

REFUSE/CANCEL

51

BUY/WEAR SEXY UNDIES

3

FREAK/BEAT HIM

25


DIVORCE/LEAVE HIM

15


LAUGH/CUTE GIGGLE

5








If Santa Claus got pulled over by the police, name something they might search.
 

99

HIS BIG SACK

50

HIS BELLY ROLLS

3

HIS SLEIGH

30


HIS GRIZZLY BEARD

10


HIS SUIT/HAT

6








We asked 100 married women...
Name something your husband had better not be wearing when your book club friends arrive.
 

99

SKIVVIES/THONG

43

DRESS/PROM GOWN

3

A TOWEL

28


SPEEDO/BALLBUSHKA

19


NOTHING/A SMILE

6








We asked 100 men...
Name a reason you might suspect you're turning into Popeye.
 

99

GETTIN' MUSCLY

42

MUMBLING

4

DEVOURING SPINACH

38


OLIVE OYL/OIL

9


SQUINTY/CLOSED EYE

6








Give me a three-letter word that starts with the letter Z.
 

99

ZOO

40

ZIT

13

ZIP

18


ZAP

15


ZEN

13








We asked 100 married men...
Name something you'd ask your wife to wear that would cause her to start laughing.
 

99

BIKINI/SWIMSUIT

38

HAT/BALL CAP

5

COSTUME/BIRD WINGS

30


LINGERIE/G-STRING

16


MINISKIRT/DRESS

10








What's causing that buzzing in your pants?
 

98

PHONE

85

REVVED-UP STIFFY

2

BUGS/WASP

5


OLD SCHOOL PAGER

4


TUMMY/LEAKY FART

2








Name something about a female giraffe that a male giraffe might say is long and sexy.
 

98

SUCKABLE NECK

76

SWEET BUSHY TAIL

2

THOSE GANGLY LEGS

14


HOT PURPLE TONGUE

4


HOOVES/OUTER TOE

2








Tell me something sweet that a lot of strippers use as a stage name.
 

98

CANDY/CANE

76

CINNAMON

3

SUGAR/BROWN SUGAR

10


HONEY/HONEY BUNS

5


CHERRY

4








Name something a wife might train the dog to detect on her husband by sniffing him.
 

98

PERFUME/VAGINE NO. 9

74

FOOD

3

BOOZE

10


CIGS/SMOKE

6


DRUGS/ANGEL DUST

5








We asked 100 married men...
When your wife calls you a big baby, name something you'll start doing to act like one.
 

98

CRY/THROW TANTRUM

71

BABY TALK

2

POUT

19


SPIT UP

4


SUCK MY THUMB

2








Name something James Bond does that is the fantasy of most men.
 

98

SCORE/PUSSY GALORE

70

USE COOL GADGETS

2

DRIVE FAST CARS

19


CARRY/SHOOT GUN

5


SPY

2








We asked 100 married women...
What does your husband watch you do when he really should be helping you do it?
 

98

CLEAN/LAUNDRY

66

TAKE OUT TRASH

4

COOK

16


GROCERY SHOP/UNLOAD

7


TAKE CARE OF KIDS

5








Name something a man might do when he's imitating Tarzan.
 

98

BEAT HIS CHEST

55

GROWL/ANIMAL SOUNDS

2

THE TARZAN YELL

28


SWING ON ROPE/VINE

10


WEAR A LOINCLOTH

3








We asked 100 married women...
Name something you'd do if your chubby hubby started exercising and became hot.
 

98

JOIN IN/GET FIT

48

WORRY HE'LL CHEAT

3

RIDE THAT STUD

23


BE HAPPY/ATTABOY!

20


HUG/KISS MORE

4








Give me another way people say "dad."
 

98

POP/POPS

43

DADA

4

FATHER

19


DADDY

16


PAPA/PA

16








We asked 100 women...
Some nights, what would you rather take to bed with you than a man?
 

98

MY DOG/CAT

37

FOOD

2

BLANKET/PILLOW

36


BOOK/MAG

21


TEDDY BEAR

2








We asked 100 married women...
Name an animal whose belly looks a lot like your husband's belly.
 

98

PIG

37

KANGAROO

12

BEAR

20


HIPPO

16


GORILLA

13








If a magician's rabbit could talk, it might say, "Hey, it hurts when you pull me out of your" what?
 

97

HAT

81

COAT/JACKET

2

BUTT/FART LIPS

8


PANTS/ZIPPER

4


EAR

2








Name something you wish you could hypnotize your boss into saying.
 

97

RAISE/PROMOTION

74

BE LATE/LEAVE EARLY

3

I QUIT/YOU RUN CO.

8


TIME OFF/PAID!

8


YOU ROCK/YOU'RE RIGHT

4








You know it's not working when you're on a date wishing you were where?
 

97

HOME/BED WITH DOG

71

SLAMMER

2

WORK/NUCLEAR PLANT

14


ANYWHERE ELSE

6


AT THE DENTIST

4








Name something a man might be wearing instead of pants.
 

97

SHORTS

65

LONG SHIRT

2

KILT

15


TRUNKS/SPEEDO

12


UNDIES/BOXERS

3








Name something you'd do if you had a doctor's appointment and no clean underwear.
 

97

GO COMMANDO

58

WEAR 'EM DIRTY

4

CANCEL/RESCHEDULE

17


BUY SOME

13


WASH A PAIR

5








Name something grandpa hopes grandma leaves on when they make whoopee.
 

97

CLOTHES/BRA

52

THE LIGHTS! YOWZA!

2

HER TEETH

27


TV/MURDER SHE WROTE

14


HER WIG

2








Name a place you stick a thermometer.
 

97

MOUTH/UNDER TONGUE

52

TURKEY/FOOD

9

EAR

15


MY CHILI CANNON

11


UNDERARM

10








Fill in the blank: I love a piece of juicy what?
 

97

FRUIT

50

PIE

4

MEAT/CHICKEN

35


GOSSIP

4


ARSE

4








We asked 100 women...
Sometimes you think your man's brain is the size of what kind of ball?
 

97

GOLF BALL

49

MARBLE

4

TENNIS BALL

20


PING-PONG BALL

18


BASEBALL

6








Name someone who has seen your bare bottom.
 

97

MY MATE/LOVER

48

MY EX

2

MY MOM/DAD

34


MY DOCTOR

11


MY SIBLING

2








We asked 100 women...
When a man you don't want to marry proposes to you, tell me an excuse you use to let him down gently.
 

97

NOT READY/TOO SOON

45

AGAINST MARRIAGE

7

WRONG FIT/JUST BUDS

27


I'M INTO CHICKS

10


I'M TAKEN/MARRIED

8








We asked 100 single men...
What would you do if your gorgeous date tells you she just got out of prison?
 

97

TRY TO SCORE

36

VIGILANT/WITH WALLET

2

ASK WHAT SHE DID

35


LEAVE/RUN

18


GOOGLE HER

6








Name something about the Wicked Witch that might remind a man of his mother-in-law.
 

97

CACKLE/VOICE

32

OUTFIT/BLACK HAT

3

EVIL, CRAZY NAG

32


UGLY FACE/NOSE

26


HER BROOM

4








Name a creature that God might have created just to annoy us.
 

96

BUGS/FLIES

76

SNAKES

2

PEOPLE/KANYE

11


CATS

4


MICE/RATS

3








Name something you do around a campfire that makes you feel like a kid again.
 

96

COOK/EAT/S'MORES

66

PLAY IN THE FIRE

2

SING/KUMBAYA

14


TALK/GHOST STORY

11


SMOKE A JOINT

3








Name a tool a construction worker might put in his pants to impress the ladies.
 

96

HAMMER/MALLET

61

DRILL

2

SCREWDRIVER

18


WRENCH

12


TAPE MEASURE

3








Name something you ride that might leave you with a sore bottom.
 

96

HORSE

54

MECHANICAL BULL

2

BICYCLE/SPIN BIKE

31


MOTORCYCLE

6


ROLLER COASTER

3








Name something dogs do that a man could get put in jail for doing.
 

96

PUBLIC WHIZ/DUMP

49

BITE

2

HUMP/OUTSIDE

25


LICK PEOPLE/OWN NADS

12


SNIFF/BUTTS

8








Name an animal print that makes for sexy panties.
 

96

LEOPARD

49

CAT/CAT PAW

4

CHEETAH

19


TIGER

17


ZEBRA

7








We asked 100 women...
Name something you have a hard time saying no to.
 

96

FOOD/BEAN BURRITO

49

SEX/WITH HOT CHICKS

5

KIDS/GRANDKIDS

19


HELPING OTHERS

12


DRINKS/BOXED WINE

11








If you were a chicken, what would you object to someone doing to you?
 

96

COOKING/EATING ME

39

CAGING ME

2

BEHEAD'G/KILL'G ME

27


PLUCKING ME

21


STEALING MY EGGS

7








Fill in the blank: Some politicians belong in the White House. Others belong in the ______ house.
 

96

JAILHOUSE/BIG HOUSE

36

WHOREHOUSE

2

DOGHOUSE

27


OUTHOUSE

25


NUTHOUSE

6








We asked 100 men...
Name a country you'd travel to if you wanted to learn how to become a better lover.
 

96

FRANCE

34

SPAIN

11

ITALY

26


ARGENTINA

13


BRAZIL

12








Name something you would never pick up with your bare hands.
 

95

TURD/MY WIFE'S

66

LAVA

2

ANIMAL/CARCASS

18


HOT COALS

5


HOT PAN/POT

4








Name a city that you'd hate to be in during a major blackout.
 

95

NEW YORK

58

LAS VEGAS

3

LOS ANGELES

18


CHICAGO

13


DETROIT

3








Name something that's harder to do in a hammock than in a bed.
 

95

"PET THE PEACOCK"

57

JUMP

3

SLEEP/ON STOMACH

15


TURN/ROLL OVER

12


GET IN AND OUT

8








Name a part of your body you clean out.
 

95

MY EARS

50

MY NOSE

8

MY MOUTH/TEETH

16


MY CRACK/POOP CHUTE

11


MY BELLY BUTTON

10








Name something you grab onto when you're making out in the front seat of a car.
 

95

PARTNER/NIPPLE

49

SEAT BELT

2

STEERING WHEEL

31


SEAT/HEADREST

8


DASHBOARD

5








Sometimes, Christmas in California is so hot, you can see Santa Claus wearing nothing but a what?
 

95

SPEEDO/SWIMSUIT

44

PAIR OF FLIP-FLOPS

2

SANTA HAT

28


THONG/PAIR OF UNDIES

19


SMILE

2








We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: I don't like a man's underwear if it's too what?
 

95

BIG/BAGGY

38

FULL OF HOLES

4

TIGHT/SNUG

24


DIRTY/SMELLY

22


SMALL/SKIMPY

7








A wife tells her husband, "Yeah, I've got a big bottom, but you've got a big" what?
 

95

GUT, FAT BOY!

36

BUTT TOO!

4

HEAD/EGO

32


MOUTH

15


NOSE

8








Name something you do in the shower that starts with the letter S.
 

95

SING

33

SHOWER

6

SHAVE

28


SHAMPOO

18


SOAP/UP

10








Name a part of a female dog that a male dog looks at and thinks, "That's hot."
 

94

TAIL/PUNGENT POOPER

78

HER INVITING VULVA

3

LONG TONGUE/MOUTH

5


SOFT EARS

4


SLENDER GAMS

4








Name something you step over at a wild party.
 

94

PEOPLE/DRUNKS

60

FOOT-LONG VIBRATOR

2

CORN-RIDDLED VOMIT

21


DRINKS/BOTTLES

6


GARBAGE

5








Name a quality a woman wants in a man, but she'll settle for it in a dog.
 

94

LOYAL/FAITHFUL

60

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

7

COMPANIONSHIP

10


AFFECTION/LICKER

9


OBEYS/LISTENS

8








Name something you would do to your boss if you won the lottery.
 

94

WAVE BYE/QUIT

58

BEAT/SMACK 'EM

3

TELL OFF/FLIP OFF

17


BUY CO./FIRE BOSS

13


SPEND ON BOSS/SHARE $

3








Name something that turns a houseguest into a house pest.
 

94

OVERSTAY

56

STEALING

2

MESSY PIG/BODY LICE

23


TALK'G/COMPLAIN'G

10


EAT'G EVERYTHING

3








Name something that might fall out of a person's ear.
 

94

HUGE WAD OF WAX

41

BUG/A ROACH

5

EARRING

25


HEARING AID

13


EARBUDS

10








Name something at an amusement park it would feel great to ride naked.
 

94

ROLLER COASTER

40

SWING/SWINGING SHIP

4

WATER RIDE/FLUME

32


MERRY-GO-ROUND

11


FERRIS WHEEL

7








Tell me a reason your car might be getting towed.
 

94

BROKE DOWN/FLAT

40

REPO/PAYMENT DUE

7

PARKED ILLEGALLY

27


ACCIDENT

10


UNPAID TICKETS

10








Name a reason you skip church that you'd never tell your pastor.
 

94

HUNGOVER/DRUNK

30

FISHING/HUNTING

2

GETTIN' LUCKY

22


CATCHIN' SOME Z'S

21


WATCH'G THE GAME/TV

19








Name something you'd be surprised grandma would wear instead of her granny panties.
 

93

THONG/G-STRING

75

GRANDPA'S/BOXERS

2

NOTHING/COMMANDO

7


BIKINI/SWIMSUIT

6


LEATHER/LEDERHOSEN

3








Name something you ride that might cause you to walk funny afterwards.
 

93

HORSE

58

MY LOVER/JON HAMM

2

AMUSEMENT RIDE

14


BICYCLE

10


BULL/MECHANICAL

9








We asked 100 women...
Name a good way to destroy your cheating man's cell phone.
 

93

WATER/FLUSH IT

51

HAMMER IT

6

RUN OVER IT

15


STEP ON IT

12


BURN/MICROWAVE IT

9








A wife might give her husband one more what?
 

92

CHANCE

54

CHORE/ERRAND

3

KISS

22


HELPING OF FOOD

10


CHILD

3








Name something you'd be surprised to find out your grandparents were making.
 

92

HOT STICKY WHOOPEE

46

COUNTERFEIT $

3

BOOZE/MOONSHINE

22


DRUGS/POT COOKIES

15


A BABY

6








We asked 100 men...
Name a place you'd be surprised your boss asked you to go with him after work.
 

92

STRIP JOINT

35

CHURCH

3

BAR/NIGHTCLUB

30


HIS HOUSE/BOUDOIR

18


HO HOUSE

6








We asked 100 married women...
Name something that keeps you from strangling your husband.
 

92

I LOVE HIM

31

SMILE/CUTE FACE

6

THE LAW/JAIL TIME

27


OUR KIDS

15


PAYCHECK/WORKS HARD

13








Name a reason grandpa says Judge Judy is his kind of woman.
 

91

TOUGH/FEISTY

65

LOUD SEXY VOICE

3

WISE/FAIR DECISIONS

10


OLD LIKE HIM

9


HOT BIG-LIP GINGER

4








Name something a chimp does that you hope the kid you're babysitting doesn't do.
 

91

POO & THROW IT/PEE

46

SCREECH

4

CLIMB/SWING/JUMP

23


SCRATCH/PICK BUGS

14


PICK NOSE

4








We surveyed 100 married men...
Between us, what is the least sexiest part of your wife?
 

91

FEET/TOE FUNGUS

43

MOUTH/HER 3 TEETH

4

BELLY

32


JUGS/PEPPERONI NIPS

7


PUTRID/FURRY PITS

5








We asked 100 women...
Name something you wish you could do like a man.
 

90

PEE/STANDING

36

SLEEP

2

EARN $$$/GOOD JOB

24


LIFT/WEIGHTS

15


REPAIRS/USE TOOLS

13








Name something that rhymes with "stakeout."
 

90

MAKE OUT

35

BAKE OUT

4

FAKE OUT

22


TAKE OUT

18


SHAKE OUT

11








When grandpa goes to bed at night, name something he hopes will happen in the morning.
 

89

HE'LL WAKE UP

76

STAND/GET OUTTA BED

3

MORNING WOOD/SEX

4


BREAKFAST/COFFEE

3


NICE B.M./WHIZ

3








We asked 100 women...
I would leave my man in a minute if I ever saw him holding a what?
 

89

CHICK

47

NASTY CRITTER/SNAKE

3

GUN/WEAPON

23


DUDE

10


JOINT/DRUGS

6








Name something a man might buy his girlfriend a pair of.
 

89

EARRINGS

43

DOUBLE-D IMPLANTS

3

PANTIES/EDIBLE

26


SHOES/BOOTS

12


SOCKS/FISHNETS

5








Name something you shouldn't laugh right in the middle of.
 

88

FUNERAL

40

OPERA/SONG

4

CHURCH/SERMON

25


SEX

14


A JOKE

5








Name a reason a frog croaks.
 

87

HORNY FOR HOTTIES

43

IT'S NIGHTTIME

4

HUNGRY/ATE FLY

19


TALK/COMMUNICATE

16


HURT/STEPPED ON

5








Name something the pool boy brings with him when he cleans a hot housewife's pool.
 

87

PIPPI DONGSTOCKING

31

TOWELS

4

SWIMSUIT/SPEEDO

25


LOTION/OIL

14


POOL SUPPLIES/NET

13








Fill in the blank: ______ attack.
 

86

HEART ATTACK

55

BIG MAC ATTACK

6

PANIC ATTACK

13


SHARK ATTACK

6


ZACK ATTACK

6








Name a one-word text a man sends his girlfriend to tell her that he's breaking up with her.
 

86

BYE

39

"DEUCES"

4

DONE

25


OVER

13


ADIOS

5








We asked 100 married men...
Name a bird that sounds like your mother-in-law.
 

86

CROW

33

WOODPECKER

8

CHICKEN/HEN

17


PARROT/PARAKEET

16


DODO

12








Name a place where you see happy wives with their unhappy husbands.
 

85

STORE/QUILT SHOP

67

PARTY/WEDDING

3

THEATER/OPERA

7


CHURCH

4


SALON/SPA

4








Name something grandma tells grandpa not to do in front of the grandkids.
 

85

BLOW BUTT BOMBS

38

SCRATCH/HIS CRACK

3

CUSS

36


TONGUE KISS HER

4


PICK HIS NOSE

4








Name something a camper might have with him in his sleeping bag at night.
 

84

FLASHLIGHT

56

PERSON/NUDE BABES

3

GUN

13


KNIFE

8


CELL PHONE

4








Name something a wife doesn't want her husband to sit on in the nude.
 

84

COUCH/WHITE SOFA

54

CLEAN BED

4

TABLE/DURING MEAL

11


KITCHEN COUNTER

8


CHAIR

7








Tell me something that Santa might say he won't miss when he retires.
 

83

TRAVEL/ALL NIGHT

29

BAD COOKIES/MILK

7

WHINEY BRATTY KIDS

24


CHIMNEYS/ROOFTOPS

13


NAD-SHRINK'G WEATHER

10








Name something that might be growing on you.
 

80

HAIR/HIPSTER BEARD

59

TASTE OF KALE/FOOD

4

MASSIVE MOLES

6


CLUMP OF WARTS

6


BACTERIA/FUNGUS

5








Fill in the blank: Making what?
 

80

LOVE

41

HAY

6

MONEY

17


WHOOPEE

9


BACON

7








Name something a 100-year-old bank robber might accidentally leave in the bank when he makes his getaway.
 

79

TEETH/DENTURES

37

HIS GLASSES

7

CANE/WALKER

12


GUN/MUSKET

12


MONEY

11








Name the first thing a woman might buy right after a guy dumps her.
 

79

ICE CREAM/FOOD

33

RING/JEWELRY

5

CLOTHES/SHOES

26


BOOZE/BOONE'S FARM

10


BOOB JOB/SURGERY

5








Give me another way people say "broke."
 

79

BUSTED

22

BANKRUPT

11

TAPPED OUT

21


POOR

13


SPENT

12








Name something painful you made love on that seemed like a good idea at the time.
 

78

FLOOR/RUG

27

WASHING MACHINE

3

GROUND/BEACH/PEBBLES

26


CAR HOOD/SEAT

12


TABLE

10








Name something people put down.
 

75

OTHER PEOPLE

34

BOOK/NEWSPAPER

8

CUP/DRINK

14


PHONE

10


ANIMAL/PET

9








Fill in the blank: ______ your fingers.
 

74

CROSS

22

COUNT/COUNT ON

7

LICK

20


SNAP

17


WIGGLE

8








Fill in the blank: Honk if you're what?
 

73

HORNY

46

MAD/ANNOYED

3

HAPPY

15


HOT/SEXY

6


HERE

3








Fill in the blank: A man might have one too many what?
 

73

DRINKS/OF TEQUILA

27

TIES

4

CHICKS/WIVES

18


CARS/TRUCKS

15


TOOLS

9








If your boss fired you, name something you might throw out the window on your way out.
 

73

DOCUMENTS/FILES

20

PENCIL/PEN

11

MY BOSS

15


COMPUTER/LAPTOP

14


MY I.D. BADGE

13








Tell me another way people say the word "drunk."
 

71

WASTED

45

HAMMERED

4

INEBRIATED

10


SMASHED

7


TIPSY

5








Name a place you see people squirming in their seats.
 

71

THEATER/MOVIES

27

AIRPLANE

5

CHURCH

18


DENTIST/DOCTOR

12


COURT

9








Name something people pull the plug on.
 

71

TV/CABLE

23

LAMP/LIGHT

4

DRAIN/SINK/TUB

22


PATIENT/LIFE SUPPORT

12


RELATIONSHIP

10








Fill in the blank: Hold the what?
 

65

PHONE

26

LINE

6

DOOR

14


MAYO

10


ELEVATOR

9








Name a creature you see and can't tell if the two of them are fighting or mating.
 

62

BIRDS/DUCKS

19

SNAKES

7

BUGS/BEES

14


CATS

12


DOGS

10








Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, and men gotta what?
 

60

EAT

21

FART

7

WATCH SPORTS/TV

15


PORK/BREED

10


WORK

7








Give me an "L" word that describes your boss.
 

59

LAZY

18

LOUD

7

LOSER

12


LOVELY

11


LIKABLE

11








Name a kind of house you might find a man in.
 

57

DOGHOUSE

21

APT./PENTHOUSE

6

WHOREHOUSE

17


FRAT HOUSE

7


LOG HOUSE/CABIN

6








Name something you'd hate to discover you'd been sitting on.
 

55

GUM

28

WET PAINT

6

TACK/NAIL

8


FOOD/CHOC. PUDDING

7


BIRD DOO/POOP

6








Name something that if one person starts doing it, others will, too.
 

51

YAWNING

33

CLAPPING

4

HUMMING/SINGING

6


DRINKING

4


SMOKING

4








Name the strangest place you've ever made love.
 

50

CAR/TRUCK

25

BEACH/OCEAN

5

PARK/PLAYGROUND

8


BATHROOM/TOILET

7


WOODS/TENT

5








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