"Family Feud" surveys | Season 18

We asked 100 married women...
Name something your spouse does like a pig.

100

SNORES	39	LEAVES STUFF AROUND	6
EATS	27	LOOKS LIKE ONE	2
FARTS	13	FINDS TRUFFLES	2
GETS MUDDY/FILTHY	11

We asked 100 married women...
Name something you still won't do in front of your husband.

100

TAKE MASSIVE DUMP	37	CHANGE CLOTHES	9
RIP HEARTY FART	15	SHAVE/MY STACHE	7
SHOWER	14	SING/HANSON SONGS	5
PUT ON MAKEUP	13

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: To turn me on, a guy should run his fingers down my what?

100

BACK	35	ARM	7
NECK	19	CHEEK	6
LEG/INNER THIGH	19	JIGGLING JUGS	5
HAIR	9

If a stripper was Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz," what would she discard during her act?

RUBY SLIPPERS	65	HER BASKET	4
TOTO TOO!	10	EVERYTHING	3
CUTE GINGHAM DRESS	10	BLOOMERS/UNDIES	2
HAIR RIBBONS	5

Name something about a male frog that a female frog might think is sexy.

HIS STUDLY CROAK	56	HIGH-HOPPIN' LEGS	6
WIDE-SET PEEPERS	13	BULGING THROAT/NECK	6
HIS LONG TONGUE	9	HIS COLOR/SPOTS	2
HIS DREAMY WARTS	7

We asked 100 married women...
Name something you could forgive your dog for doing but not your man.

PEE/POO ON FLOOR	53	LICK'G SOMEONE ELSE/DOG	6
NOT LISTENING	15	HOGGING BED/SOFA	3
NOT PICKING UP	12	EATING MY SHOES	2
BITING/ROUGH PLAY	8

We asked 100 married men...
I'd love it if my wife greeted me at the door holding a what?

DRINK/BEER	50	KEY/TO NEW CAR	6
STEAK/BURGER	15	BOOB/OTHER GAL'S	5
PAIR OF SLIPPERS	11	WINNING LOTTO TKT.	3
ROBE	9

Name a part of his body where a man should not remove his hair.

GROIN	22	ARMS/PITS	15
LEGS	20	FACE/EYEBROWS	5
HEAD	19	BUTT	3
PECS/NIPS	15

Fill in the blank: The lady elephant said to her male suitor, "My, what a big ______ you have."

TRUNK/NOSE	71	WOODY	3
EAR	9	FOOT	2
TUSK	8	WRINKLY RUMP	2
BODY/WEIGHT	3

Name something you don't want to see coming out of someone's mouth.

FOOD/PUKE	67	BUGS/WORMS	4
SPIT/DROOL/FOAM	10	LIES & MORE LIES!	2
BLOOD	8	THEIR TEETH	2
CUSS WORDS	5

The bad news: Grandma got a tattoo. The worse news: She got it on her what?

PRUNE BLASTER	48	NECK	2
FLOOR-SCRAPING BOOB	35	ARM	2
FACE/FOREHEAD	6	BACK	2
HOO-HA	3

We asked 100 single men...
Name something you'd say about yourself just to get a girl to break up with you.

CHEAT/DID YOUR BFF	41	I'M A DRUGGIE	4
LOST MY JOB/BROKE	33	I'M A FELON	3
GAY/INTO YOUR DAD	10	I'M A FREAKY PERV	2
I WON'T COMMIT	5

We asked 100 single men...
Fill in the blank: To end a bad date early, I'll tell a woman I have what?

TO SLEEP/EARLY DAY	41	NO MONEY	6
EVERY KNOWN STD	17	ANOTHER DATE	5
WIFE/GIRLFRIEND	14	GAS/LEAKING BOOTY	2
WORK TO DO	13

Fill in the blank: I was shocked when my date stuck a breadstick in his what?

EAR	30	FOOD/KETCHUP	6
PANTS/POCKET	26	BUTT/HAMFLOWER	4
NOSE	15	MOUTH/DOWN THROAT	4
DRINK	13

We asked 100 men...
Name something you'd be embarrassed to find out an 80-year-old man could do better than you.

PUSH-UPS/WEIGHTS	29	DANCE/WHIP/NAE NAE	6
PLEASE PUNANI	26	SPORTS/GOLF	6
RUN/WALK	20	DRIVE	3
PICK UP BABES	8

Name a shape people's bottoms come in.

PEAR	28	PANCAKE	5
ROUND/CIRCLE/BUBBLE	27	PEACH	2
APPLE	27	MELON/WATERMELON	2
HEART	7

If Santa got stuck in the chimney, name someone he might call on his cell phone.

ELF CENTRAL	27	CHIMNEY SWEEP	3
HIS OLD LADY	26	EASTER BUNNY	2
RUDOLPH/REINDEER	23	KIDS/HOMEOWNER	2
911/FIRE DEPT.	15

Fill in the blank: Steve Harvey could be on a list called "The top five best" what?

TV HOSTS	53	MUSTACHES	3
COMEDIANS	27	MISS UNIV. BLOOPERS	2
DRESSED	7	MEN	2
TALKERS/RADIO VOICES	3

We asked 100 women...
If you were dating a clown, you might come home with a big red nose in your what?

CLOTHES/CLEAVAGE	53	MOUTH	4
PURSE	21	COOCHIE	3
HAIR	9	HAND	3
EAR	4

Name something a woman has that's fake but still expensive.

GRAND TETONS	45	HAIR/COLOR	4
JEWELRY	29	SMILE/TEETH	2
FUR/FUR COAT	8	EYELASHES	2
PURSE	7

We asked 100 married men...
If you drew a picture of your wife, name a part you'd be smart to draw smaller than the actual size.

WAIST/BELLY	44	HER MAN HANDS	4
TEXAS-SIZED TUCHAS	29	LINEBACKER NECK	3
BEAK/PIG NOSE	9	HUGE ALIEN HEAD	3
HER HIPPO HIPS	5

If Minnie Mouse caught Mickey cheating on her, name a way she might exterminate the rat.

POISON/D-CON CHEESE	43	FEED HIM TO A CAT	3
MOUSETRAP	35	STRANGLE/HANG HIM	3
HIT/STOMP/FLATTEN	8	HIT MAN	2
STAB/CHOP UP	3

We asked 100 married women...
If you were married to a magician, name something you might tell him he couldn't bring into bed with him.

HORNED-UP RABBIT	40	HIS SAW	9
HIS HAT	18	HIS CARDS	4
HIS MAGIC WAND	12	HIS SOCKS	3
HIS PECKING BIRDS	11

Name a way an egg is prepared that also describes your boss.

SCRAMBLED	39	SUNNY-SIDE UP	4
HARD/SOFT-BOILED	26	POACHED	3
FRIED	14	RUNNY	2
OVER EASY	9

We asked 100 women...
A romantic candlelit dinner wouldn't be complete without what?

BOOZE/CHAMPAGNE	38	SUCKING FACE	6
FOOD/DESSERT	31	MY MAN/CHICK	5
MUSIC/BILLY OCEAN	7	FLOWERS	3
CANDLES	7

Name a part of their body in which people have been known to hide things.

"URANUS"	34	BELLY/BUTTON	7
MOUTH	24	VA-JAY-JAY/WEENIE	4
DAIRY PILLOWS	18	HAIR/WIG	2
ARMPIT	8

We asked 100 women...
Name something you like to cover yourself with.

CLOTHES/ROBE	26	CHOCOLATE/NUTELLA	8
BLANKET/SHEETS	24	NUDE MEN/BABES	2
LOTION/SUNSCREEN	19	DIAMONDS	2
COLD HARD CASH	16

We asked 100 single women...
I'm willing to marry a man with no money as long as he has what?

HUMOR/PERSONALITY	24	HEART/CHARACTER	12
MIND OF EINSTEIN	21	LOVE FOR ME	6
JOB/AMBITION	17	A HOME/PROPERTY	3
DREAMBOAT FACE	14

Name something grandpa likes within reach so he doesn't have to go far to get it.

TV REMOTE	66	MEDS	3
BEVERAGE/BEER	11	GRANDMA	3
CANE	6	NEWSPAPER	2
CANDY/SNACKS	5

Name something some people do just like a cow.

CHEW/EAT	65	SLEEP/LIE AROUND	3
MOO	14	BREATHE	3
RIP A BEEFER	5	FOLLOW LEADER/HERD	2
SQUIRT MILK	4

We asked 100 women...
If you dated a nudist, name someone you might not introduce him to.

MY FOLKS/DAD	64	MY HUBBY	4
MY KIDS	9	GRAMPS/GRANNY	2
CLERGY/CHURCH	9	MY SIBLINGS	2
FRIEND/SLUTTY SUZY	6

Since women's underwear has flowers on it, name a type of tool that should be on men's underwear.

HAMMER/JACKHAMMER	59	SHOVEL/SPADE	3
SCREWDRIVER	15	HOE	2
DRILL	8	CLIPPERS/PRUNERS	2
WRENCH	7

Tell me something Miss Piggy might do to get ready for a date with Kermit.

MAKEUP/POWDER SNOUT	54	PERFUME/CALVIN SWINE	4
HER HAIR/CURL IT	14	SHAVE/WAX	2
BATHE/MUD BATH	10	EAT/FILL UP BEFORE	2
DRESS SEXY	10

If Steve Harvey was your dad, name something you'd hope to inherit from him.

HIS BAZILLIONS	51	CONFIDENCE	3
HUMOR/PERSONALITY	29	SLEEK/BALD HEAD	2
PIMPIN' SUITS/STYLE	5	HIS WISDOM/SENSE	2
CUTE FACE/SMILE	4

Name a place a woman would hate to find out the roses her man gave her came from.

FUNERAL/CEMETERY	50	THE TRASH	5
GROCERY/DOLLAR STORE	13	GAS STATION	3
HIS HO/EX'S HOUSE	12	HOSPITAL PATIENT	2
HER YARD/NEIGHBOR'S	11

We asked 100 single women...
Name a reason you might go on a date with someone you really don't like.

FREE MEAL	48	BE NICE/DO FAVOR	3
LONELY/BORED	27	HE'S A MAJOR BABE	2
DUDE'S RICH	8	MAYBE I'M WRONG	2
HORNY/THIRSTING HARD	6

Name a place where you'd see oily ribs.

RESTAURANT	48	MASSAGE PARLOR	3
THE BEACH	22	STRIP/GO-GO JOINT	2
HOME/BACKYARD	11	MARKET/BUTCHER	2
GYM/FITNESS CONTEST	8

If a woman can't afford implants, name something in her home it would be cheaper to stick in her bra.

TISSUE/T.P.	47	BALLOONS	6
SOCKS	24	JELL-O	3
FRUIT/MELONS	7	PAPER TOWELS	2
INSERTS/PADS	7

Name the smallest place you've ever made love.

FIAT/TRUCK	45	TENT/TEPEE	4
BATHROOM/TUB	20	PLANE/COCKPIT	2
CLOSET	18	GOLF CART	2
TINY BED/BEDROOM	5

We asked 100 women...
Your man thinks he's the ringmaster in bed. You think he's more like what circus act?

THE CLOWN	38	THE ELEPHANT	6
LION/TIGER/TAMER	31	THE JUGGLER	3
THE MONKEY	9	THE CLAPPING SEAL	2
TRAPEZE/ACROBAT	7

Name an activity a man does at home that he could get hurt doing if he did it in the nude.

YARD WORK/TRIM BUSH	36	CLEAN/VACUUM	5
COOK/SLICE MEAT	21	CLIMB LADDER	3
TOOLS/REPAIRS	17	MOVE FURNITURE	3
EXERCISE/PUSH-UPS	11

Besides the bathroom, where else in the house might a lazy guy have a toilet built?

GARAGE/WORKSHOP	28	DEN/TV/FAMILY ROOM	7
LIVING ROOM	23	BASEMENT	5
BEDROOM	20	KITCHEN/AT TABLE	4
"MAN CAVE"	9

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: My man's the opposite of Steve Harvey because he's not what?

FUNNY	27	BALD	10
A HOST/STAR	22	TALL	6
BLACK	15	LOUD	2
RICH	14

Name something you'd be surprised your boss offered to trade with you.

PAYCHECKS	26	DESKS/OFFICES	11
JOBS/DUTIES	21	HOUSES	5
CARS	17	FOOD/LUNCHES	2
SPOUSES/MATES	14

We asked 100 married men...
Name a TV game show that might describe you and your wife in the bedroom.

FAMILY FEUD	21	LET'S MAKE A DEAL	12
JEOPARDY	18	WHEEL OF FORTUNE	10
PRICE IS RIGHT	18	DEAL OR NO DEAL	2
NEWLYWED GAME	15

Name an occasion when your drunken kissing cousin might actually try to kiss you.

WEDDING/RECEPTION	65	BIRTHDAY	2
FAMILY REUNION	10	FUNERAL	2
NEW YEAR'S EVE	10	ON HIS DEATHBED	2
NEVER	4

Name a fun winter activity you'd be surprised to see a nudist doing.

SKIING	57	SNOWBOARDING	5
SLEDDING/LUGE	12	BUILDING SNOWMAN	3
SKATING/HOCKEY	8	ICE FISHING	3
SNOW ANGELS	7

Name someone you kiss good-bye but never passionately.

MY PARENTS	49	MY PET/HORNY DOG	6
MY KIDS/GRANDKIDS	13	SIS/CREEPY BROTHER	5
MY FRIEND/BROSKI	11	MY AUNT	5
MY GRANDMA	6

We asked 100 men...
When you get to heaven, what do you hope all the women there are wearing?

NOTHING	46	WINGS	3
BIKINIS	24	SHEETS/TOGAS	3
LINGERIE/THONGS	13	SKIMPY ROBES	2
TANK/WELCOME TEE	4

Name something you haven't put in your mouth since you were a baby.

PACIFIER	45	A BOOB/MY MOM'S	7
BOTTLE/MILK	15	MY TOE/FOOT	4
MY THUMB	12	A RATTLE/TOY	3
BABY FOOD/PEAS	9

We asked 100 married men...
If you hadn't gotten married, you'd have a much better what?

BANK ACCOUNT	43	JOB/CAREER	4
SEX LIFE	18	HOUSE	3
LIFE/TIME	14	ATTITUDE	2
CAR	11

Name something a person might take out before going to bed.

TEETH/DENTURES	41	CONTACTS	4
TRASH	25	A BOOK	4
DOG/CAT	13	CLOTHES/PJS	3
FROZEN FOOD/SNACK	5

If a male stripper called himself "The Pirate," tell me a prop he might use in his act.

EYE PATCH	40	HOOK	7
SWORD	23	PIRATE HAT	3
PERVY PARROT	11	A PLANK	2
PEG LEG	9

Name something the clown's wife probably wishes he wouldn't take to bed.

HIS BIG RED SCHNOZ	39	MAKEUP/CREEPY SMILE	5
HIS HORN	27	FOOD/COTTON CANDY	2
SHOES/BIG FEET	15	SQUIRT FLOWER	2
HIS HAIR/WIG	5

Name a place where you might be tempted to tell a lie but the consequences would be too great.

COURT	38	POLICE STN./JAIL	6
CHURCH/CONFESSION	24	BANK	2
WORK	17	IRS AUDIT	2
HOME/BEDROOM	6

Name something you put your lips on.

DRINK/GLASS	38	A STRAW	10
OTHER LIPS/BUBBA'S	14	CHAPSTICK	9
FOOD/POPSICLE	11	BOOBAGE	3
LIPSTICK/GLOSS	10

Name something a husband sees on his wife's shopping list that makes him fear she's planning a murder.

POISON/ANTIFREEZE	36	ROPE	3
GUN/BULLETS	28	HAMMER	3
KNIFE	18	SHOVEL	3
DUCT TAPE	4

Name a place where a man doesn't want to hear someone say, "You'll be next."

DR./DENTIST/SURG.	33	BATHROOM/STALL	4
FUNERAL/MORGUE	28	HELL	3
PRISON/ON DEATH ROW	19	WEDDING	3
BED/WIFE'S ORGY	5

When you go in for a kiss, name something you hope you don't smell on your lover's breath.

ONIONS	32	GINGIVITIS/DECAY	8
GARLIC	20	SMOKE	7
MORNING BREATH	11	FRESH VOMIT	6
TUNA/SEAFOOD	11

A man might tell his wife, "I only went to the strip club for" what?

THE FOOD/WINGS	31	$1 BILLS/CHANGE	5
A DRINK	28	RESEARCH/OBSERVE	4
FUN/BACHELOR PARTY	18	THE GREAT MUSIC	3
BUSINESS MEETING	6

Tell me something Mr. Pig might find most attractive about Miss Pig.

CURLY TAIL	31	SILKY EARS	4
FIGURE/JUICY HAMS	28	DIRTY GAL/MUDDY	4
PIG FACE/SNOUT	18	OINKS & GRUNTS	4
SWEET SWINE SCENT	6

We asked 100 married women...
Name something you might ask the Wizard of Oz to give your husband.

HEART/SENSITIVITY	30	PATIENCE	6
MORE MONEY/JOB	25	RIPPED ABS/MUSCLES	4
A BRAIN	17	TIME/YEARS WITH ME	3
PERSONALITY/HUMOR	10

We asked 100 married women...
Be honest and tell us something about other women that you criticize.

DUDS/SKANKY SKIRT	27	PERSONALITY/'TUDE	7
WEIGHT/FIGURE	25	LOVE LIFE/BIG HO	6
FACE/MAKEUP	17	AWFUL KIDS	3
LACK OF SMARTS	10

We asked 100 women...
When your husband who left you comes back for his things, where will he find them?

IN THE TRASH	23	DRIVEWAY	11
FRONT YARD	22	CLOSET/DRAWERS	6
IN A FIRE/GRILL	16	CHARITY/THRIFT SHOP	5
GARAGE	12

If you had to resort to cannibalism, what part of someone would you eat first?

LEG/THIGH	62	EAR	3
MEATY BADONK	12	BELLY	3
ARM	8	STEVE-SIZE LIPS	2
FINGERS/HAND	4

We asked 100 married men...
Name the last thing you asked your wife for that she said "No way."

SEX	59	A HARLEY	4
$/ALLOWANCE	13	A TRIP/ON A RAFT	3
A DIVORCE	9	FOOD/SECONDS	2
CAR/WINNEBAGO	4

Name a place a man goes to get some action.

BAR/NIGHTCLUB	52	GYM	3
STRIP JOINT	15	RACETRACK	3
CASINO/VEGAS	11	HOME/VIBRATING BED	3
KIKI'S HOUSE O' HOS	7

Name someone in your life you hope you never see naked or you'll never be the same again.

MY PARENTS	51	SANTA CLAUS	2
MY GRANDPARENTS	23	MY KID/30 YEAR-OLD	2
MY IN-LAWS	8	MY DOC/HOT GYNO	2
MY BOSS	6

Name something specific a wife might do to her cheating husband's sportscar.

KEY/SCRATCH IT	51	CRASH IT	5
SELL IT/FOR $1	13	BURN/BLOW IT UP	4
SLASH TIRES	10	POOP/THRU SUNROOF	2
BASH IT/WINDOWS	9

Name something that's a guaranteed party starter.

BEER/SHOTS	50	PARTY GAME/VID GAME	4
MUSIC/KARAOKE	26	GIANT REEFER/DRUGS	3
DANCING/TOPLESS	4	GUESTS/HOT ONES	3
FOOOOD!	4

Name the sexiest thing we'd find in your bedroom.

UNDIES/LINGERIE	50	MY MATE/HOOKUP	5
ME/NUDE	14	PORN COLLECTION	4
LIFELIKE VIBRATOR	12	LUBE/OIL	2
BED/PILLOW/SHEETS	7

Fill in the blank: You leave the house, look down, and think, "Oh no -- I forgot to put on my" what?

SHOES	45	BELT	6
PANTS	14	UNDIES/BRA	5
WATCH/JEWELRY	11	DEODORANT	3
SOCKS	10

If roles were reversed, what might your dog ask the vet to do to you?

SPAY/NEUTER	44	BATHE/CLEAN EARS	4
GIVE SHOTS	18	MAKE ME MUTE	2
BUTT TEMP/EXAM	18	PUT ME DOWN	2
CLIP NAILS/DE-NAIL	6

Name a creature an exterminator has nightmares about being sixty feet tall and chasing him.

COCKROACH	43	RAT	10
SPIDER	13	HIS EX	2
TERMITE	12	SNAKE	2
ANT	12

Fill in the blank: A man might say, "All I want for my ex-wife is for her to be" what?

HAPPY	38	MISERABLE/LONELY	8
GONE/AWAY/MISSING	23	A GOOD MOTHER	3
NICE/COOL/FAIR	10	QUIET	2
DEAD	10

Name a place a man would be foolish to FaceTime his wife from his smartphone.

STRIP JOINT	35	HOTEL/MOTEL	3
BATHROOM/ON TOILET	23	HO HOUSE	3
BAR/NIGHTCLUB	21	WORK/MTG. WITH BOSS	2
LOVER'S HOUSE/BED	7

Name something people pick out ahead of time so their funeral will be fabulous.

MUSIC/GOOD DJ	34	FLOWERS	7
CASKET	30	FUNERAL HOME	2
BURIAL PLOT	11	HEADSTONE	2
CUTE OUTFIT	8

Name something dogs do in the car that mom hopes her kids don't do.

HANG OUT THE WINDOW	33	DROOL	7
WHIZ/DUMP	24	BLOW CHUNKS	5
LICK/EVERYTHING	11	SHED	4
BARK	10

When your date says he's close to his parents, name something you hope he doesn't do with them every day.

CALL/SEE/TALK	29	SHOWER/TAKE BATH	6
EAT/EVERY MEAL	24	KISS/MAKE OUT	3
SLEEP/CUDDLE	17	CRY	2
LIVE	13

We asked 100 men...
If your boss organized a company retreat at a nudist colony, name an office supply you might use to hide your manhood.

PAPER/LEGAL PAD	28	TABLET/LAPTOP	8
FOLDER/BINDER	25	RULER	8
STAPLER	10	TAPE ROLL/HOLDER	6
POST-ITS	9

We asked 100 married men...
Between us, name something you wish your wife would get rid of.

WEIGHT/BEER BELLY	26	HER AWFUL MOTHER	8
CLOTHES/FLANNEL TEDDY	22	PET/RABBIT FARM	8
HER NASTY 'TUDE	17	LAPTOP/TABLET	2
HAIRDO/80'S PERM	11

A man's wedding vow might be, "I promise to always love you unless you" what?

HO AROUND	64	DIVORCE/LEAVE ME	3
GET FAT/GAIN 3 LBS.	13	FART/PANTY BURP	2
DIE	5	STAB/TRY TO KILL ME	2
NAG/ANNOY ME	4

If mirrors could talk, name something yours might say to you.

WELL HELLO, HOTTIE!	56	GO AWAY!	2
WHOA! BEACHED ORCA!	19	WINDEX ME!	2
WOW! YOU'RE OLD!	7	OH LORD, THAT HAIR!	2
TRUST/IN YOUR TRUTH	5

We asked 100 single men...
Your mom tells you to find a woman who has a good heart. You want one who's what?

HOT/JUMBO-JUGGED	53	LOYAL	5
RICH	12	AFFECTIONATE	3
SMART	11	PLUMP/A HEIFER	2
A GOOD COOK	7

Name something a housewife slips into when the sexy pool boy comes to clean the pool.

SWIMSUIT/BIKINI	47	JEANS/SKINNY JEANS	3
LINGERIE/NIGHTIE	19	TIGHT T-SHIRT	2
ROBE	16	THE POOL	2
SKIRT/DRESS	4

We asked 100 men...
Name a snack you wish your lover tasted like when you kissed her.

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	44	POPCORN	6
PIZZA	14	POTATO CHIPS	5
BACON	14	CUPCAKE/DING DONG	2
FRUIT/CHERRY	8

Name an animal some people look like when they pucker up for a kiss.

FISH/SHARK	33	ANTEATER	2
MONKEY/APE	32	CAMEL	2
DOG	19	BIRD/PENGUIN	2
PIG	3

A wife might tell her husband, "I wish your" what "was like Steve Harvey's."

HUMOR/PERSONALITY	27	HAIR/BALD HEAD	11
INCOME/BANK ACCT.	16	SUIT/STYLE	7
MUSTACHE	14	BODY/DONG	5
SMILE/GRILL	13

Name something people do in a buffet line that should be against the law.

USE THEIR HANDS	23	TAKE TOO MUCH	10
SHOVE/CUT LINE	22	PICK NOSE	4
SAMPLE/LICK SPOON	17	SCRATCH/BUTT	3
SNEEZE	14

We asked 100 married women...
Name something it would be rude for your husband to do in the nude.

GO OUTSIDE/MOW	23	SCRATCH GIBLETS	10
CUT THE CHEESE	20	BEND OVER	7
WHIZ/ON WALLS	13	SIT ON FURNITURE	7
WALK AROUND HOUSE	13

Name an L word a mother-in-law might call her son-in-law.

LOSER	54	LOUSE/LOUSY	4
LAZY	14	LOUD	3
LOVE/LOVELY/LOVER	8	LARRY	2
LIAR	7

If you found out ahead of time that your boss was going to fire you, what would you do?

QUIT/WALK OUT	46	PROVE SELF/PERSUADE	4
FIND NEW JOB	23	ASSAULT/WITH PIE	2
CONFRONT/CUSS OUT	8	PACK UP OFFICE	2
CALL IN SICK	7

Name a country a cannibal might say has the best-tasting people.

UNITED STATES	43	MEXICO	6
ITALY	19	GREECE	4
FRANCE	10	BRAZIL	3
CANADA	7

What gift might a male cat give to a female cat that he has the hots for?

MOUSE/JUICY RAT	40	DEAD BIRD	7
CATNIP	19	A LICK/SMOOCH	6
FISH/TUNA	9	A BUG/FLEAS	3
BABIES/HIS KITTYMAKER	8

We asked 100 men...
Best date ever: She showed up wearing what?

SEXY DRESS/SKIRT	38	A TANK TOP	8
NADA/HER EAGER BEAVER	19	A BATHING SUIT	5
SHORTS/DAISY DUKES	10	A ROBE	3
THONG/LACE PANTIES	9

We asked 100 single women...
You hope your blind date is a fox. What animal do you not want him to be?

PIG	37	JACKASS	7
ELEPHANT	15	OCTOPUS	5
HIPPO	13	RAT	5
DOG	10

A woman might say, "My ex-husband only married his new wife because she's" what?

YOUNG	36	DUMB	3
RICH	24	SKINNY	2
HOT/STACKED	17	ALL HE COULD GET	2
A SLUT/JEZEBEL	8

Name something Steve Harvey has in common with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

BALD	34	BLACK/BLACKISH	9
FUNNY/HUMOR	13	HOTTIES/CUTE SMILES	8
CELEBS/ON TV	12	TALL	5
MALE	11

We asked 100 women...
Name something you have that's large and luscious.

GLISTENING ORBS	32	HAIR	6
YUM-YUM BUM	21	EYELASHES	2
LIPS	21	HOT BEER GUT	2
FRUIT	8

We asked 100 married men...
What do you reach for when you hear your mother-in-law is coming over?

BOOZE/MIND ERASER	32	REMOTE	5
CAR KEYS	20	WEED/A FATTY	5
THE DOOR/LOCK	15	UNFILTERED CIGS	3
CELL PHONE	12

We asked 100 men...
Lap dances are fun, but you'd never want to get one from your who?

MOTHER	27	GRANDMA	8
BOSS	18	MOTHER-IN-LAW	7
SISTER	16	SON/DAUGHTER	2
HAG WIFE	14

Name something your grandma is really too old to be wearing in public.

STRING BIKINI	27	JEANS/TIGHT PANTS	10
MINISKIRT/DRESS	17	LINGERIE/PASTIES	7
HOOCHIE SHORTS	16	HEELS/HOOKER BOOTS	4
TANK/CROP/HALTER TOP	11

We asked 100 women...
My man is so unromantic, his idea of a sexy night out is going where?

SPORT EVENT/RACE	21	BOWLING	8
BAR/CLUB	20	STORE/K-MART	8
NOWHERE/HOME	17	MOVIES	5
DINNER/WENDY'S	13

Name something you'd pour into a cheating ex's gas tank.

SUGAR	63	SALT	2
WATER	16	OIL	2
BEER	3	SAND	2
MY WARM WHIZ	3

Name something about a cow that other farm animals might make fun of.

HER UDDERS	54	ANNOYING MOO	3
SIZE/FAT BADONK	20	HER STENCH	3
HER SPOTS	5	SHE MOVES SLOWLY	2
CHEWING/CUD	4

We asked 100 men...
What might a woman pull out of her bra on a first date that would frighten you?

GUN/STUN GUN	53	TOOTHBRUSH	3
TISSUE	11	FOOD/GROUND BEEF	2
CONDOM/A DOZEN	11	MONEY/SINGLES	2
KNIFE	9

On Halloween, every kid skips the house that gives away what?

FRUIT/VEGGIES	52	PENNIES/$	3
TOOTHBRUSH/PASTE	17	COAL	3
CRAPPY CANDY/GUM	10	HOMEMADE TREAT	3
PENCILS	3

Name something a stripper hopes the crowd doesn't do when she takes off her clothes.

BOO/"PUT IT ON!"	47	THROW STUFF/COINS	5
LAUGH	14	SCREAM/CRY	3
RUN OUT	12	FAINT	3
FONDLE/GOOSE HER	7

Where were you the last time you let out an ear-piercing scream?

THEME PARK/COASTER	37	MOVIES	4
HOME/IN BED	30	SPORTING EVENT	3
DELIVERY ROOM	9	THE CIRCUS	3
SCHOOL	5

We asked 100 women...
What did you do with your dolls that you now do with your girlfriends?

PLAY DRESS UP	36	NOTHING	8
TALK/TELL SECRETS	19	SHOP	3
FIX/CUT HAIR	11	PUT ON MAKEUP	3
HAVE TEA PARTY	11

Name a place that's filled with old men and young women.

SENIOR HOME	30	HOSPITAL	4
BAR/CLUB	26	FLORIDA/MIAMI	2
STRIP JOINT	22	HOLLYWOOD	2
CASINO/VEGAS	5

Women love a man who's funny. But they love a man even more if he's what?

BALLIN'	28	HOT/HUMPALICIOUS	7
HONEST/FAITHFUL	21	SMART	5
KIND/CARING	20	MUTE/SILENT	2
ROMANTIC/CHARMING	8

If a nagging app were invented, name something it would constantly remind husbands to do.

CLEAN UP/DISHES	27	TURN OFF TV	7
TAKE OUT TRASH	26	PAY ATTN./LISTEN	7
YARD WORK	11	LOSE WEIGHT	5
CALL/TALK TO WIFE	8

We asked 100 women...
Name one word you might use to describe a pizza and a man.

HOT	26	GREASY	3
DELICIOUS	23	SPICY	2
YUMMY	19	ROUND	2
CHEESY	16

We asked 100 married men...
When I grab my wife's bottom, it feels like I'm holding two big what?

BUNS/ROLLS	26	GOBS OF JELL-O	7
MELONS	21	HAMS	7
PILLOWS	16	SACKS OF SUGAR	3
BEANBAGS	11

Name something a man might do to make people think he's younger than he is.

DYE HAIR/BEARD	61	DATE YOUNG	3
SHAVE FACE/BODY	11	WORK OUT/SPORTS	3
TOUPEE/HAIR PLUGS	5	COMB HAIR OVER	2
BUY SPORTS CAR	5

Name something a girl might grow up to be if her parents named her Bambi.

STRIPPER/DANCER	53	AN ACTRESS	5
A HO/BIMBO	14	RUNNER/TRACK STAR	2
MODEL/PLAYMATE	7	SHY/INSECURE	2
A DEER	7

We asked 100 women...
What's the sexiest thing you own?

PANTIES/VINYL THONG	45	MY BRAIN	5
BRA/OPEN-NIPPLED	20	GARTER/BELT	4
DRESS/BLACK DRESS	7	NIGHTIE/NEGLIGEE	3
HEELS/10-INCH	6

If lovers go hiking, name something they might have in their backpack for outdoor romance.

WINE/BOOZE	36	BUG SPRAY	4
BLANKET/QUILT	27	PICNIC/CHOCOLATE	4
CONDOM/WEENIE WRAP	11	LUBE/PINE-SCENTED	3
CANDLES	5

If you're afraid of flying, name something you'd pack in your carry-on just in case.

MEDS/CYANIDE	34	BARF BAG	6
A PARACHUTE	24	DIAPER/CLEAN UNDIES	4
THE BIBLE/BOOK	10	TUNES/EARPHONES	3
A FLASK/BOOZE	9

We asked 100 women...
On your man's "things I really love" list, what might come above you?

TV/SPORTS	34	HIS CAR/TRUCK	10
THE KIDS	11	HIS MOM	9
GOD/JESUS	11	BEER/BUD LIGHT	4
HIMSELF/CAREER	11

Name a place where you see a lot of boobs.

STRIP JOINT	33	BAR/NIGHTCLUB	4
NUDE BEACH	30	CONGRESS	4
HOOTERS	11	LAS VEGAS	2
DR./SURGEON'S	6

We asked 100 men...
If you were going to prison tomorrow, how would you spend your last night of freedom?

SEX/MASSIVE ORGY	32	RUNNING/HIDING	7
WITH FAMILY/KIDS	20	CRYING	2
DRINKING/AT BAR	19	AT STRIP JOINT	2
EATING	8

Fill in the blank: Dear all my internet friends: Stop posting pictures of what?

YOUR FOOD!	29	YOUR STUPID KIDS	8
YOU/YOUR CLEAVAGE	22	KARDASHIANS/KANYE	3
ANIMALS/PETS	15	ME WITHOUT ASKING	2
POLITICS	11

Fill in the blank: At home, a husband might say to his wife, "Honey, let's ______ in the nude."

SWIM	24	BATHE/SHOWER	9
SLEEP	23	WATCH TV/O'REILLY	6
DANCE/TAP DANCE	12	COOK/BBQ	6
EAT	10

We asked 100 women...
Name a reason a man might remind you of a horse.

BIG TEETH/MOUTH	21	HUNG LIKE ONE	8
STUBBORN/DIFFICULT	21	BAD BREATH	4
NEIGHING LAUGH	17	THICK/MUSCULAR	3
WAY HE EATS/CHEWS	16

Name something a man might be holding while his wife is shopping.

HER PURSE	57	WALLET/CASH/CARD	5
SHOPPING BAGS	10	HIS TONGUE	3
PHONE	6	SHOPPING CART	3
BABY/KIDS	5

A wife might tell her husband, "Yeah, I'll wear lingerie if you wear" what?

HOT UNDIES/LINGERIE	51	HANDCUFFS	4
SUIT & TIE/TUX	14	COLOGNE	3
A SPEEDO	10	COSTUME/MASK	2
CONDOM/WEENIE BEANIE	5

Tell me something about Steve Harvey that you think is a ten.

HUMOR/PERSONALITY	44	HIS MONEY'S GOT $$$	5
PEARLY WHITE SMILE	16	HONEY-SWEET VOICE	4
HIS STUD STACHE	9	BALD CHROME DOME	3
STYLIN' THREADS	8

Name something that is close to your heart.

LOVED ONE/FAMILY	43	BOOBS/LEFT NIPPLE	5
LUNGS	17	BLOOD/ARTERY	4
DOG/PET	11	SHIRT/BUTTONS	4
RIBS	5

Name an animal you should slowly try to back away from if you come in contact with it.

BEAR	42	WOLF	4
SNAKE	15	TIGER	4
SKUNK	12	MEAN/RABID DOG	4
LION	8

Name something you only have one set of.

PEEPERS	33	HANDS	5
PEARLY WHITES	31	DISHES/SILVERWARE	5
EARS	6	WRINKLY DANGLERS	4
DAIRY CANNONS	5

Name something you'd be surprised to hear that Santa Claus doesn't really care about.

KIDS	31	CHRISTMAS	10
BEEN BAD OR GOOD	17	SNOW/CLIMATE CHANGE	5
TOYS/MY LIST	12	REINDEER	3
MILK/COOKIES	11

We asked 100 women...
Tell us something -- anything -- you have in common with Dolly Parton.

EPIC BOOBAGE	30	NICE PERSONALITY	7
MY HAIR/BLONDE	20	MY LONG NAILS	6
I'M FEMALE	14	I'M SHORT	4
MY VOICE/SINGING	8

Name something a man brings to bed when he knows his wife is not in the mood.

BOOK/KINKY MAG	24	HIMSELF/LONELY WOODY	9
FOOD/CANDY	21	REMOTE	6
PHONE	16	LOTION/OIL	3
IPAD/LAPTOP	10

If a wife strip-searched her husband, name something she'd better not find on him.

DONG SARONG	21	HICKEY/BITE	10
CHICK'S PHONE #	21	SCRATCHES/ON BACK	3
LIPSTICK/MAKEUP	19	PERFUME	3
LADIES' UNDIES/HERS	12

If there were a store for vampries, name something they might sell there.

BLOOD/BLOOD LATTE	56	FANG SHARPENER	3
CAPES	14	COFFINS	3
FALSE FANGS	5	WINDOW BLINDS	3
TOOTHPASTE/WHITEN'G	4

When two women see a man, one might say to the other, "Hey, check out his" what?

TIGHT MAN-CAN	55	CAR	4
BEAUTIFUL EYES	8	THICK WALLET	4
"MOOSE KNUCKLE"	8	CHEST/DANCING PECS	4
ABS/BELLY	5

Name a road sign a wife might like to hold up when her husband asks for sex.

STOP	54	SLIPPERY WHEN WET	4
YIELD	12	1-WAY/DO NOT ENTER	4
SLOW	7	CURVES AHEAD	3
ROAD CLOSED	4

There was an accident at the bakery. And now the baker's buns are all what?

BURNT/BLACK	51	HARD/TOUGH	3
SQUISHED/FLAT	17	EATEN/GONE	2
STICKY	8	ALL OVER/ON CEILING	2
WET/SOGGY	5

When you housesit for someone, name something of theirs you feel weird about using.

BED	50	ROBE/SLIPPERS	3
CRAPPER/BIDET	17	FOOD/FRIDGE	3
TUB/HAND SHOWERHEAD	8	COMPUTER	3
TOOTHBRUSH	4

If newborn babies could talk, name something about which they might tell the doctor, "Hey, don't do that."

SPANK MY BOOTY	34	CUT THE CORD	4
SHOTS/NEEDLES	25	PUT ME BACK IN	3
CIRCUMCISE ME	11	TOUCH ME/COLD HANDS	3
TAKE TEMP IN BUTT	8

Name something you hope the other person doesn't do if the two of you are in a canoe.

TIP/LEAN/ROCK IT	31	BLOW CHUNKS	7
STAND UP	25	DANCE/CUPID SHUFFLE	3
HAVE FART ATTACK	12	PEE/DROP A DEUCE	3
FALL OUT/JUMP	7

Name something Pinocchio might stick his nose into.

FOOD/WARM PIE	31	THE FRIDGE	4
HOLE/PEEP HOLE	24	BEEHIVE	4
PEOPLE'S BUSINESS	13	PERSON/HOT BABE	3
BUSH/TREE/FLOWER	9

We asked 100 married women...
Name a deli food that reminds you of your husband.

BOLOGNA	26	TURKEY	11
HAM	16	SALAMI	7
PICKLE	13	PEPPERONI	4
SAUSAGE	11

Name something oh so wrong that feels oh so right.

PIGGING OUT	46	SPEEDING	5
SEX/WITH MY PILLOW	20	DRUGS/"BLAZING"	3
LOVE/BAD RELA'SHIP	5	SMOKIN' CIGS	3
CHUGGIN' BOOZE	5

Name something you should put in your belly button so you'll smell good.

COLOGNE	45	FLOWERS/POTPOURRI	6
DEODORANT	9	SCENTED OILS	5
SOAP/DETERGENT	9	POWDER	4
CANDY/MINT/GUM	9

We asked 100 women...
Name something of yours it would be fun to make your man wear, but only in the bedroom.

PANTIES/G-STRING	40	NIGHTIE	5
BRA	21	NOTHING	4
NYLONS/HOSE	8	HAT/BONNET	3
SLIP	6

Name something you'd hate to find on your father's night table.

CONDOM/FLAVORED	38	GUN	7
WARM VIBRATOR	12	DENTURES	6
VIAGRA	12	PENTHOUSE/PORN	5
LUBE	7

We asked 100 women...
When you get to heaven, what do you hope every man you meet has?

LOVE/HONESTY	30	HOT BOD/RODZILLA	5
DREAMY FACE/SMILE	24	HEAD OF HAIR	4
GOOD PERSONALITY	16	A UTERUS	3
BRAINS/SENSE	5

Sometimes a woman can be too distracted by a man's good looks to notice if he's what?

SMART OR STUPID	30	4'6" OR 6'4"	5
NICE OR DOUCHEY	22	CRIMINAL/DANGEROUS	5
INTO WEEN OR VAGEEN	11	RICH OR BROKE	5
MARRIED OR SINGLE	9

Name a reason you'd attend the funeral of someone you hated.

RESPECTS/CONSOLE	28	I'M IN WILL	4
MAKE SURE DEAD	23	FORGIVE/CLOSURE	4
GLOAT/PEE ON GRAVE	19	FREE MUNCHIES!	3
SEE WHO'S THERE	6

We asked 100 men...
The good news is, there's a naked woman in your bed. The bad news is, it's who?

MY MOM	24	MY SISTER-IN-LAW	7
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW	23	MY GRANDMA	6
MY EX	15	MY BOSS	5
MY WIFE	7

Name a place a man goes with his wife that he'd never go to again after they divorce.

SHOPPING	22	CHURCH	9
HER FAMILY'S HOUSE	22	HONEYMOON SPOT	4
OPERA/THEATER	17	TO BED	3
RESTAURANT	10

Name something of grandpa's that grandma would hate to discover she just sat on.

HIS TEETH	50	HIS POOP/PEE	4
HIS GLASSES	15	FOOD/ICE CREAM	3
CLOTHES/FEDORA	7	HIM/HIS FACE	3
TOBACCO/SPITTOON	4

Name something that at some time in your life you've put up your nose.

FINGER	44	Q-TIP	4
TISSUE/TP	16	LEGO	3
PEN/PENCIL/CRAYON	10	PEPPER/CHILI POWDER	3
COCAINE	6

Name a reason Santa might leave the presents out on the lawn.

NO CHIMNEY	39	FIREPLACE LIT	4
CAN'T FIT IN CHIMNEY	20	HOUSE IS A MESS	2
DOG/ATTACK CAT	10	TIRED/LAZY	2
LOCKS/SECURITY	9

If Steve Harvey agreed to come to your house for dinner, what would you feed him?

BEEF/MEAT LOAF	37	WHATEVER HE WANTS	3
CHICKEN/WINGS	30	CHILI/SOUP	3
PIZZA/FROZEN	6	RIBS/BBQ	3
PASTA/RAMEN NOODLE	4

We asked 100 women...
My man is like a magician. He disappears whenever I start talking about what?

CHORES/HONEY-DO LIST	37	MY FAMILY/HIS	8
SHOPPING	10	WORK	6
MY FEELINGS	10	MONEY/BILLS	6
MARRIAGE	9

When you get to heaven, name someone there whose presence means you'll never rest in peace.

ALL MY EXES	34	POLITICIANS	5
MOTHER-IN-LAW	20	ENEMY/BULLY	5
MY MOTHER	11	MY SPOUSE/MATE	4
ANNOYING FRIENDS	7

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: A good man is like a good piece of what?

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	27	FURNITURE	5
STEAK/MEAT	22	PIZZA	4
MOIST CAKE	15	HEAVEN	4
WARM PIE	9

Name something of yours someone's already called dibs on when you die.

JEWELRY	27	CLOTHES/G-STRING	6
CAR/TRUCK	19	ART/PAINTING	4
HOUSE/CONDO	15	FURNITURE/WATERBED	4
$$$/LIFE INSURANCE	11

Name something a wife might forbid her husband to wear around the house.

HIS UNDIES/G-STRING	22	HER DUDS/FISHNETS	10
BIRTHDAY SUIT	17	SOCKS/WITH SANDALS	7
SHOES/CROCS	13	SWEATS	5
SPEEDO	12

I partied so hard last night that when I woke up, I was holding what?

BOOZE/A GLASS	45	UNDIES/CLOTHES	6
THE TOILET	9	FOOD/XL PICKLE	5
A STRANGER/HOOKER	9	HAPPY DOG/PET	3
MY HEAD	8

Name a car that an adult film actress might name herself after.

PORSCHE	44	MUSTANG	4
MERCEDES/BENZ	20	BMW/BEEMER	2
FERRARI	7	JAGUAR	2
LEXUS	6

When a man gets home from work, name something he'd hate to find his mate had changed.

ROOM SETUPS/DECOR	42	HER HAIR	4
THE LOCKS	21	HUSBANDS/MATES	3
THEIR PLANS/DINNER	6	GENDERS	3
CLOTHES/HIS CLOTHES	6

We asked 100 married people...
Name a board game that best describes your marriage.

LIFE	31	MONOPOLY	9
CHUTES AND LADDERS	12	SCRABBLE	7
SORRY	11	RISK	5
TROUBLE	10

We asked 100 women...
What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were a man?

SCREAM/CRY/FREAK	59	PEE STANDING!	3
DIE/CHUG ARSENIC	6	SHAVE MY FACE	3
FAINT	5	SPANK MY SALAMI	3
BACK TO SLEEP/DREAM	5

For cannibal Halloween, name a body part the little cannibals hope they'll get in their treat bags.

FINGERS/HAND	35	BRAIN	5
EYEBALLS	20	EARS	4
TOES/FOOT	9	HEAD/SHRUNKEN	4
LEG/THIGH	7

Name a TV host who makes a lot of money by being funny.

STEVE HARVEY	32	STEPHEN COLBERT	5
JIMMY FALLON	15	CONAN O'BRIEN	5
ELLEN DEGENERES	14	JAY LENO	5
DREW CAREY	8

Tell me a part of a car that's used to describe a body part.

TRUNK	31	REAR END	6
HEADLIGHTS	18	HOOD	6
ENGINE/MOTOR	10	BUMPER	5
SEAT/BACK SEAT	8

Name something the chef spread all over his body so his wife would find him tasty.

CHOCOLATE/HOT FUDGE	29	OIL/OLIVE OIL	4
WHIPPED CREAM/CREAM	27	PEANUT BUTTER	3
BUTTER	10	JELLY/JAM	3
HONEY	8

Name something hospital nurses might volunteer to do if Steve Harvey was a patient.

HOT WET SPONGE BATH	56	FEED HIM	3
PHYSICAL/TAKE VITALS	8	SHAVE BOD/HEAD	3
TAKE THE DAY OFF	6	RUB/POLISH HEAD	3
WORK OVERTIME	4

When you look in the mirror, name a part of yourself that might even turn you off.

BULGING GUT	37	BEADY/BAGGY EYES	5
NOSE/SNOT LOCKER	14	WRINKLES	5
JACKED TEETH/SMILE	10	ZIT COLLECTION	4
HAIR/GRAY/LOSING	8

Fill in the blank: It would be surprising to hear a stripper say, "I used to be a" what?

NUN	34	LAWYER	5
TEACHER	17	MAN	3
DOCTOR	13	HOUSEWIFE/PTA MOM	3
COP	8

Name a part of a petite woman that might be big.

HER GERBER SERVERS	32	HER MOUTH/SMILE	6
HER BADONK	18	HER FEET	5
HER SCHNOZZ	10	PERSONALITY/'TUDE	4
HER HEAD	8

Name a place where you'd be surprised to see mirrors on the ceiling.

CHURCH	29	HOSPITAL/DOC OFC.	5
BATHROOM/PUBLIC	21	DRESSING ROOM	4
HOTEL/MOTEL	13	PRISON	3
BEDROOM/MY MOM'S	8

Name something a wife has that she'd hate to come home and see her husband using.

HER MAKEUP	23	ARM-SIZE VIBRATOR	8
DUDS/LACY BRA	20	CURLERS/CURL'G IRON	7
HER RAZOR	13	HER FACE MASK	3
HER TOOTHBRUSH	9

Name something a confident woman doesn't need to feel good about herself.

A MAN	21	MAKEUP	9
NICE FACE/ANY TEETH	16	MONEY	8
A HOTTY MCBODY	15	A BRAIN/DEGREE	5
COMPLIMENTS	9

Name an occupation whose people spend a lot of time working in the dark.

MINER	33	CAVING/SPELUNKING	3
PHOTOGRAPHY	23	THEATER USHER	3
SECURITY GUARD	12	HO	3
SEWAGE WORKER	5

At a beach, a woman might ask a man, "Is that a ______ in your Speedo?"

BANANA	30	FISH/EEL	7
SOCK	14	PHONE	6
CUCUMBER/PICKLE	13	POTATO	5
GUN	7

Name something Mrs. Claus would hate to find when cleaning Santa's suit.

FOOD/CRUMBS	23	CHICK'S PHONE #	10
CONDOMS	18	PANTIES	5
POOP/PEE	12	A RIP/HOLE	3
LIPSTICK MARKS	11

Fill in the blank: Oh no -- I walked into my hotel room and saw the maid holding my what?

CLOTHES/USED UNDIES	33	JEWELRY/WATCH	4
WALLET/CASH	21	TOOTHBRUSH	4
VIBRATOR/TOY	10	SPOUSE/MATE	4
LAPTOP/TABLET	5

Name something Christmassy a stripper might wear at a strip club called The North Pole.

SANTA OR MRS. C SUIT	33	TINSEL/GARLAND	8
CANDY CANE/STRIPES	12	MISTLETOE/ON THONG	6
ELF OUTFIT	9	FURRY PASTIES	5
JINGLE BELLS	8

Fill in the blank: The groom was so drunk that when he woke up the next morning, he was sleeping next to ______.

HIS BEST MAN	30	THE TOILET	7
BRIDESMAID	14	CLERGY	4
ANIMAL/LLAMA	12	A STRIPPER	3
MOTHER-IN-LAW	11

Name a place where people get caught in the act.

CAR	29	BATHROOM/PORTA-POTTY	5
PARK	22	MOTEL/HOTEL	3
BEDROOM	12	KITCHEN/COUNTER	3
ELEVATOR	6

If you had all your teeth pulled today, what would you have for dinner tonight?

SOUP	35	YOGURT	5
SHAKE/SMOOTHIE	16	PUDDING	5
MASHED POTATOES	7	JELL-O	5
ICE CREAM	6

Name an animal that decides to ruin your party by making an appearance.

SKUNK	30	DOG	5
SPIDER/BUGS	16	BEAR	4
RAT/MOUSE	13	PIG	4
RACCOON	7

If your father were a baker, he might call you his little what?

MUFFIN	29	CHEF/BAKER	6
CAKE/CUPCAKE	22	DONUT	5
BUN/STICKY BUNS	7	COOKIE	4
DOUGHBOY/GIRL	6

If men got pregnant, what would they pack in their hospital bag?

BEER/BOOZE	23	VIDEO GAMES/XBOX	7
FOOD/BEEF JERKY	19	DUDS/HOLEY UNDIES	6
PAIN MEDS/DRUGS	11	RAZOR	6
TABLET/IPAD	7

A cannibal might tell a zombie, "You can have the brain, but leave me the" what?

LEGS/THIGHS	25	EYES	6
HEART	21	LIVER6	4
REST OF HIM/BODY	12	BREAST MEAT	4
RUMP ROAST	6

When grandma does laundry, name something she might find in grandpa's pants.

MONEY/COINS	39	CONDOM/WEENIE BEANIE	3
HIS TEETH/DENTURES	14	CHEWING TOBACCO/TIN	3
HANKY/TISSUE	10	MEDICINE/VIAGRA	3
CANDY/GUM	5

Fill in the blank: I've got a big, fat what?

BADONKADONK	30	CAT/DOG	6
BELLY	14	EGO	3
WALLET/WAD O' BILLS	10	WOODY FOR YOU, BABY	3
HEAD	8

Name a word you use all the time that has an X in it.

EXTRA	22	TAX	4
SEX/SEXY	21	EXCELLENT	4
X-RAY	10	FIX	4
EXIT	8

Name something of yours you like even though it's really old.

CLOTHES/SHOES	33	STUFFED ANIMAL	3
CAR/TRUCK	18	MY DECREPIT BODY	3
WATCH/JEWELRY	7	MY HOUSE	3
MY GEEZER MATE	5

Name a place you go where you don't want to spend more than a few minutes.

JOHN/PORTA-POTTY	16	WORK/MEETING	7
DOCTOR/DENTIST	14	CHURCH	7
DMV	12	STORE/ABERCROMBIE	7
IN-LAWS'/RELATIVE'S	8

Fill in the blank: A woman loves a man who loves to do what?

COOK	18	LAUGH	7
CUDDLE	13	WORK/MAKE BANK	6
DANCE	11	LOVE/EXPRESS FEEL'GS	6
CLEAN/SCRUB TOILET	8

Name something a wife might reach for when her husband starts criticizing her.

POTS/PANS	16	CAR KEYS	6
A KNIFE	12	DRINK/WINE	5
CELL PHONE	7	BOOK/MAG/NEWSPAPER	5
FOOD/ICE CREAM	7

Fill in the blank: In the dog school yearbook, my dog would be voted most likely to what?

BARK	14	EAT/STEAL FOOD	7
SUCCEED	10	BE CUTE	5
SLEEP	9	FETCH/PLAY	4
PEE/POOP	9

Fill in the blank: Night ______.

NIGHT OWL	13	NIGHTMARE	6
NIGHTTIME	13	NIGHTCAP	4
NIGHT-LIGHT	12	NIGHT MOVES	4
NIGHTLIFE	6

Be honest: Name something you didn't know you wanted until the neighbors got one.

POOL/HOT TUB	19	TV/3-D	5
YELLOW MIATA/TRUCK	14	BOAT/YACHT	4
PET/CUTE BICHON	6	RIDING MOWER	4
LOVER/NEW SPOUSE	5

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