"Family Feud" surveys | Season 18

We asked 100 single women...
I wouldn't want to date a man with too much what on him?

100

HAIR	25	JEWELRY	11
WEIGHT/FAT	18	ACNE	8
COLOGNE	16	CIGARETTE SMOKE	4
BAGGAGE/PROBLEMS	14	MAKEUP	4

Name a part of your body that gets you in trouble.

MY BIG MOUTH	54	MY BUBBLE BUTT	5
MY HUMPTY DUMPLINGS	17	HANDS/MIDDLE FINGER	3
MY PEA BRAIN	9	MY THIRSTY LOINS	3
MY HUNGRY BELLY	6	MY SPYIN' EYES	2

Name a part of her cheating husband's body in which a wife decides to literally bury the hatchet.

RUMPLE STIFF-SKIN	35	HIS DOODY MAKER	4
HIS BACK	19	HIS HAND	3
HIS HEAD	17	HIS FOOT	3
HIS CHEST/HEART	16	HIS NECK/THROAT	2

We asked 100 married women...
Name something your husband likes to do in the nude that you don't.

SLEEP	23	DANCE	12
STRUT AROUND	22	BRUSH HIS TEETH	7
EAT	18	WATCH TV	3
MAKE LOVE/TO SELF	12	COOK	2

Name a sexy food you put on your mate's body when fooling around.

WHIPPED CREAM	52	HONEY	2
CHOCOLATE	28	ICE CREAM	2
FRUIT/BERRIES	7	JELL-O	2
ICE CUBES	3	OYSTERS	2

Name something you lie about on an online dating site.

WEIGHT/HEIGHT	49	SIZE OF PRIZE/JUGS	4
AGE	29	BEING SINGLE	2
INCOME/JOB	6	INTERESTS/READ'G	2
MY PAST/SLUTDOM	4	MY LOOKS/PIC	2

Tell me a place you've told a lie to save your skin.

SCHOOL	39	COURT	5
WORK	23	CHURCH	2
HOME	18	SUBWAY/TRAIN	2
JAIL/POLICE STATION	7	BAR/CLUB	2

Name something you should do if you don't want anyone to sit next to you.

STINK/CUT FARTS	36	MOVE SEATS	2
PUT STUFF THERE	35	LOOK CRAZY/DROOL	2
COUGH/ACT SICK	15	"IT'S TAKEN, SUCKA!"	2
FEET UP/SPREAD OUT	4	TALK LOUDLY	2

We asked 100 women...
If your man was on a nude sports calendar, what sports ball would he be holding that's big enough to cover his manhood?

BASKETBALL	36	TENNIS BALL	4
FOOTBALL	24	BOWLING BALL	2
SOCCER BALL	19	MARBLE	2
BASEBALL/SOFTBALL	9	CUE/POOL BALL	2

Name something of his cheating wife's a man might give to his dog to chew on.

DUDS/JIMMY CHOOS	70	TOOTHBRUSH	4
NEW SMART PHONE	6	SEX TOY	4
HER/HER FACE	5	PURSE	2
WEDDING RING	4	HER CREDIT CARDS	2

A woman might say, "I had the best dream last night. I was in bed with" who?

CELEBRITY	66	MY PET/KITTY	2
MY SPOUSE/MATE	11	MY FIRST LOVE	2
NO ONE/MYSELF	10	A MASSEUR	2
TEDDY BEAR	2	SUPERHERO/BATMAN	2

We asked 100 women...
Name a way you like your mattress and your man.

FIRM/HARD	52	CLEAN	4
SOFT/GENTLE	19	WARM	3
STRONG/DURABLE	8	COMFY	3
SUPPORTIVE	5	ADJUSTABLE	3

Name something the cheapo airlines might start forcing two people to share.

SEAT	45	TV MONITOR	4
FOOD/DRINK	20	TRAY TABLE	3
PILLOW/BLANKET	14	OXYGEN MASK	3
LUGGAGE	6	BARF BAG	2

We asked 100 married women...
What does your husband do that he thinks is cute but you think is disgusting?

FART/ON MY FACE	41	POSE NUDE/STRIP	5
BURP	21	PEE/IN SHOWER	5
TELL DIRTY JOKES	12	SHAKE WANG AT ME	3
MAKE OUT W/ DOG	8	TALK WEIRD/BABYISH	2

We asked 100 married women...
Name something your man wears to bed that you don't find the least bit sexy.

UNDIES/ELMO ONES	37	HAT/STOCKING CAP	3
BAGGY/SWEATPANTS	28	GOLD CHAIN	2
SOCKS/KNEE-HIGH	19	SHORTS/CUTOFFS	2
BUSHY BEARD	4	STINKY/HOLEY SHIRT	2

We asked 100 married women...
Name something your man tries to do in a sexy way that just isn't.

DANCE/BOOTY SHAKE	35	POSE	8
TALK/DIRTY	26	GO SHIRTLESS/STRIP	4
FART	11	RUB/GROPE ME	3
KISS ME	8	LAUGH	2

The princess said, "I kissed a frog and he turned into a prince. But he still ______s like a frog."

KISSES	32	TASTES	3
LOOKS	21	WALKS/HOPS	3
SMELLS	18	EATS/BUGS	2
CROAKS/TALKS/SINGS	16	HUMPS ME	2

We asked 100 women...
Name something specific you wear that you might rip off in the heat of passion.

BRA	31	NIGHTIE/GOWN	4
PANTIES/THONG	24	SWEATPANTS	3
SHIRT/BLOUSE	24	SHOES	3
JEANS/PANTS	6	GLASSES	2

Name a reason someone might say that it's great being a nudist.

FREEING	31	COMFORT/NO CHAFING	6
NO SHOP'G/CHEAPER	24	SHOW MY HOT BOD	6
NO LAUNDRY!	12	STAY COOL	4
NICE TAN/NO LINES	10	SEE NUDE HOTTIES	4

We asked 100 single women...
I'm not sure I want to get married because I don't like to what?

SHARE/MY SPACE	25	ARGUE	9
COMPROMISE	18	COMMIT	8
OBEY/SERVE EVIL PIG	15	HAVE SEX	6
GET DIVORCED	13	CLEAN/HOUSEWORK	3

Name something that most men wouldn't turn down if it was offered to them.

NOOKIE/COOCH	59	BEER/BOOZE	3
MONEY	18	JOB	2
FOOD	5	LOVE	2
NEW CAR	5	SPORTS TICKETS	2

Name a place parents would hate to hear their daughter say she met her boyfriend.

BAR/NIGHTCLUB	59	REHAB	3
STRIP JOINT	15	IN BED	2
JAIL/PRISON	9	MOTEL	2
WEB/HOOKUP APP	4	NUDE BEACH/COLONY	2

After a divorce, name someone a woman would hate to find out her ex started dating.

HER BESTIE	55	STRIPPER/JUGS JUDY	4
HER SISTER	17	YOUNG/COLLEGE BABE	4
CELEB/MODEL	6	DUDE/HER BROTHER	2
HER MOM	6	BOSS/COWORKER	2

Name something a newly divorced woman buys just to irritate her ex-husband.

HIS DREAM CAR	41	MOUTHWATER'G JUGS	7
DUDS/SEXY ONES	26	A VACATION	3
JEWLERY/ROLEX	8	VIBRATOR	2
GUY/HUNG HUSTLER	7	HOUSE/NEXT DOOR	2

What's the sexiest thing in your bedroom?

ME, BABY!	34	SEX TOY/SWING	5
PIMP BED/PILLOW	23	UNDIES/LINGERIE	5
MY BOINKABLE BOO	17	MIRROR/OVER BED	3
ART/PIC/CALENDAR	6	MOOD LIGHTING	3

If it were up to men, what would their bride be wearing as she walked down the aisle?

NOTHING/JUST A VEIL	33	JEANS	4
LINGERIE	22	A MINISKIRT	3
DRESS/WEDDING DRESS	21	WHITE!	2
BIKINI	9	CASH/MONEY SUIT	2

If a woman is compared to a Georgia peach, name a part of her body that might be fuzzy.

HER HONEYSUCKLE	33	HER BOOTY/CRACK	10
HER ARMS/PITS	13	HER HEAD/HAIR	6
HER LEGS	12	HER JUGS/NIPS	6
HER FACE/UPPER LIP	12	HER BELLY	4

We asked 100 women...
You'd be shocked if your best friend said she was marrying your who?

BROTHER	26	SON/18 YEAR-OLD	8
EX	26	COUSIN/ELROD	6
DAD	12	SISTER	6
HUBBY/MATE	9	BROTHER-IN-LAW	3

We asked 100 married women...
Name an animal that best describes your husband's lovemaking style.

TIGER	20	LION	11
BEAR	19	SLOTH	5
APE/MONKEY	17	RABBIT	5
BULL	15	DOG	4

We asked 100 married women...
It's bad enough when your husband wants to make whoopee. It's worse if he wants to do it where?

KITCHEN	19	IN SHOWER/TUB	8
OUTSIDE/FRONT YARD	19	AT HIS PARENTS'	7
CAR/SMART CAR	17	ON TOILET/POOPING	6
ON FLOOR	15	IN A POOL	5

We asked 100 women...
Name something you wouldn't want to find out your date was carrying.

WEAPON/TASER	55	ANIMAL/SNAKE	2
DISEASE/SCABIES	15	PETER PUMP/TOY	2
DRUGS/TO SELL	15	RUBBERS	2
PIC OF CHICK/WIFE	2	BLACK BOOK	2

Tell me something someone with big lips might be able to do better than someone with small lips.

KISS	53	BLOW UP BALLOON	5
PLAY TUBA/INSTRUM'T	11	SUCK/ON STRAW	5
WHISTLE	10	DRINK/CHUG	3
WEAR LIPSTICK	5	SMILE/LIKE STEVE	3

Even after all these years, name something about grandma that grandpa still finds sexy.

FACE/CATARACT EYES	52	PERSONALITY/SPUNK	4
BOD/PRUNE BODY	22	HER COOKING	3
VOICE/LAUGH	6	WOBBLY WALK	2
HOT BLUE HAIR	4	SHE'S ALIVE	2

Even if a male stripper was named Mr. Hot Stuff, what about him might not be so hot?

BOD/FURRY BACK	43	FABIO HAIRCUT	4
FACE/2-TOOTH GRIN	24	MIND/EDUCATION	3
PERSONALITY/'TUDE	11	B.O./KICKIN' BREATH	3
LAME DANCE MOVES	5	OUTFIT/G-STRING	2

Name something about a female turkey that's so sexy a male turkey wants to gobble her up.

FEATHERS/ON BOOTY	39	THAT SEXY STRUT	7
PLUMP BREASTS	19	HOT FACE/BEAK	4
LONG LEGS	11	ANGELIC VOICE	3
NECK/WATTLE	9	FLAPPING WINGS	3

Name something that's cheap and greasy.

BURGER	36	PIZZA	5
FRENCH FRIES	32	BACON	4
OIL/GREASE/LARD	7	TACO	2
CHICKEN/WINGS	7	MY EX	2

We asked 100 men...
Name a good lie that you wish someone would spread about you.

RICH/SUCCESSFUL	36	PLAYER/DATED J. LO	4
DA BOMB IN BED	24	FUNNY/OUTGOING	4
IQ OFF THE CHARTS	14	CONFIDENT	3
TALL/FIT/ATHLETIC	8	FAMOUS/PORN STAR	2

Name something a football player might wear to bed when he wants to score.

JERSEY/PANTS	24	TEAM-COLORED CONDOM	9
NOTHING	23	G-STRING/UNDIES	6
HELMET	16	SUPER BOWL RING	4
USED JOCKSTRAP	11	SHOULDER PADS	2

We asked 100 single women...
Name a reason men stop calling you.

I'M CLINGY/NEEDY	24	I WON'T DO THE DEED	10
NOT INTO ME/BORED	16	FACE OF LYLE LOVETT	8
NOT READY/SCARED	16	GAVE HIM MY "COOKIE"	4
MET SOMEONE	14	MEN ARE IDIOTS	3

We asked 100 single women...
Fill in the blank: Good news: Your blind date is rich. Bad news: He's also what?

BEATEN W/ UGLY STICK	22	MARRIED	10
BALD	15	DUMB/A BRAIN DONOR	9
A TUBSTER	14	SHORT LIKE RUBIN	6
RUDE, CRAZY D-BAG	14	HAIRY	5

We asked 100 men...
If you're on a kiss cam at a game, name a relative you wouldn't want to be sitting next to.

MY SISTER	17	MY DAD	12
MY MOM	17	MY FATHER-IN-LAW	11
MY BROTHER	13	MY GRANDMA	6
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW	13	MY AUNT/GERTIE	6

We asked 100 married men...
It's bad when your mother-in-law visits. But it's worse if your wife wants the three of you to do what together?

TV/MOVIE/"BEACHES"	16	EAT	10
SHOP	16	TALK	9
VACATION/CAMP	15	PARTY/DO SHOTS	8
LIVE TOGETHER	13	SLEEP IN SAME BED	8

It's fun if you have edible underwear. It's more fun if they're made out of what food?

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	47	WHIPPED CREAM	5
FRUIT/ROLL-UPS	21	JELL-O	3
PIZZA	8	CAKE	2
BACON	6	STEAK/RARE RIBEYE	2

We asked 100 women...
Name a place you'd be embarrassed to tell your friends that you met your mate.

ONLINE/TINDER	43	SEX STORE	5
BAR/18 & UP BAR	21	JAIL	3
STRIP JOINT	11	GAS STATION	2
FAST FOOD/REST.	7	THERAPY GROUP	2

We asked 100 women...
Name something you'd rather not do outdoors.

PEE/CURL SOME PIPE	43	EXERCISE/WALK	4
THE BONY EXPRESS	17	YARD WORK	3
SLEEP/CAMP	16	DRESS/UNDRESS	3
SHOWER/BATHE	6	COOK	2

Name something some people do sexier than others.

DANCE	36	EAT/BANANAS	5
WALK	19	TALK	5
DRESS/UNDRESS	12	KISS	4
SMILE	10	SING	3

We asked 100 single men...
Name something you'd be pleasantly surprised to find out your blind date has.

MONEY/MILLIONS	36	BIG/REAL BOOBS	7
CONDOMS/EXTRA THIN	13	SAME VALUES/ETHICS	7
SENSE OF HUMOR	13	A WEENIE	5
PRETTY FACE	11	A SWEET CAR	2

We asked 100 single women...
Name something you'd love to hear about an ex-boyfriend who dumped you.

GOT DUMPED/DIVORCED	28	BROKE/LOSE JOB	8
STD/CROTCH CRITTERS	17	REGRETS IT	7
STILL SINGLE	14	LOST HIS HAIR	5
IN JAIL	11	DEAD & ROTTING	4

If a stripper called himself Santa Claus, name something he might use in his act.

SANTA SUIT/HAT	27	NUDE ELVES	11
GIFT/FUZZY RED SACK	12	NORTH POLE	8
REINDEER	12	CANDY CANE	8
BUSHY WHITE BEARD	11	NAUGHTY LIST	5

Name a specific activity at a nudist camp where you'd see a whole lot of jiggling going on.

VOLLEYBALL	53	TRAMPOLINE	3
JOGGING	14	SWIMMING	2
DANCING/ZUMBA	12	HULA HOOP	2
JUMPING JACKS	5	TENNIS	2

Name something specific of his mother's a man wears to feel closer to her.

JEWELRY/CROSS	46	SOCKS/STOCKINGS	6
SCARF	11	PERFUME/CHANEL NO. 5	4
HAT/BONNET	10	BLOUSE/HALTER TOP	4
BLANKET/AFGHAN	8	SWEATER	4

Name something a newly divorced woman might do to get back at her ex.

DATE/DO HIS BUDS	44	TAKE $$$/ALIMONY	4
LOSE WEIGHT	23	SELL/BURN HIS STUFF	4
GET BOOB JOB	8	KEY/RUIN CAR	4
BLAST HIM ONLINE	4	STALK HIM	2

It's your first time at a nudist colony. What do you look forward to doing in the nude?

SWIMMING	42	WALKING/RUNNING	4
SUNBATHING	21	SLEEPING	4
OGLING/FLIRTING	11	TRAMPOLINE JUMPING	2
HIDING/COVER'G UP	7	YOGA	2

We asked 100 married women...
If your husband is dreaming that he's a dog, name something he might do in his sleep.

BARK/GROWL	39	ROLL OVER	5
LICK ME	22	WAG HIS TAIL	5
SCRATCH	10	SNORT	3
SNIFF/MY BUTT	6	HUMP	3

We asked 100 men...
If your package had a shipping label on it, what would it say?

FRAGILE/HANDLE W/ CARE	38	CASH ON DELIVERY	6
OVERSIZED/BIG	26	THIS END UP	3
HEAVY LOAD	10	DO NOT BEND	2
EXPLOSIVE	6	MY NAME	2

When talking to someone, name something on their face that might distract you.

BIG POPPABLE ZIT	35	SCAR/SCRATCH	7
MOLE	18	HAIR/FACIAL HAIR	5
FOOD/IN TEETH	12	EYES/WONKY EYE	4
BOOGER/SNOT TRAIL	8	NOSE/PIG NOSE	4

Name a term of endearment it would be weird for a man to use when addressing his mother.

HONEY/BUNS	32	DEAR	6
SWEETIE/HEART	21	LOVE/LOVER	4
BABE/BABYCAKES	18	DARLING	3
SEXY/SEXY MAMA	7	SUGAR	2

Name something the most romantic man in the world does for his wife every day.

KISSES/HOURLY	22	COMPLIMENT/SO LOVELY	10
"I LOVE YOU"	21	HOLDS/HUGS HER	4
COOKS/B'FAST IN BED	14	CLEANS/DISHES	4
GIVES FLOWERS	14	RUBS HER/FEET	4

We asked 100 men...
Name a musical instrument that reminds you of your instrument.

FLUTE/PICCOLO	50	GUITAR	5
CLARINET	13	TROMBONE	5
TUBA	6	BASSOON	5
PIANO	5	TRUMPET	3

We asked 100 married men...
I never argue with my wife when she's holding a what?

KNIFE	45	TV REMOTE	5
FRYING PAN	15	VASE	3
CHILD/BABY	10	BEER BOTTLE	2
GUN	10	CONVERSATION	2

Name a chore a farmer does that lovers might use as a code for making love.

PLOW THE FIELD	39	PLANT/SOW SEED	7
MILK/THE COW	20	CHURN BUTTER	2
BALE/MAKE HAY	12	SLOP THE PIGS	2
HOEING	8	TILL THE SOIL	2

We asked 100 women...
Name a reason you wouldn't want to be a man.

HAIRY/SHAVING	38	MACHO/NO EMOTION	6
PERKY DONG	16	SMELL	5
CAN'T GIVE BIRTH	12	MINI-MINDED MORONS	2
THEY GO BALD	11	HAVE TO KILL BUGS	2

If she's smart, what should a woman not do on a first date with a man she really likes?

GIVE COOKIE/GET PREG	32	NAG/COMPLAIN	7
OVERTALK/I LOVE YOU	18	COOK FOR HIM	2
KISS HIM	15	PLAY HARD TO GET	2
LET ONE GO	14	WALK AWAY/GO HOME	2

We asked 100 men...
Name something a woman's got that makes her hot.

BOOBS FOR DAYS	31	PERSONALITY/SASS	5
TEARDROP BOOTY	18	MONEY	3
LEGS/BOWLEGS	15	SEXY CLOTHES	3
FACE/SMILE	14	KATE MOSS WAIST	3

Tell me something it only takes one finger to do.

POINT	28	PICK YOUR NOSE	8
TYPE/TEXT	21	DIAL PHONE	7
RING DOORBELL	11	FLIP YOU OFF	5
SCRATCH	8	TAKE A PICTURE	4

We asked 100 married men...
Name a place you'd never want to hear your wife say she's going.

STRIP JOINT	25	CASINO	9
MALL/TIFFANY'S	16	STUD'S PLACE/HER EX'S	8
LAWYER'S OFFICE	12	CLUB/BAR	8
JAIL/POLICE STATION	12	BATHROOM/TO POO	2

Name a command given to a dog that if your boss said it to you, you'd quit.

SIT	24	BEG	9
HEEL	20	DOWN/LIE DOWN	5
ROLL OVER	16	QUIET/SHUT UP!	3
FETCH	12	COME/HERE, BOY!	3

We asked 100 married men...
Give me a word that a weather forecaster uses that could also describe your wife.

HOT	23	STORMY	9
SUNNY	17	HURRICANE	8
COLD	12	WARM	7
FRIGID	10	WET/MOIST	6

When you're nude, name something that feels good on your body.

WATER/HOT BATH	22	SUNLIGHT	7
SHEETS/BLANKETS	21	SILK	6
LOTION	13	FUR/MY CAT'S	6
PERSON/SKIN	13	TOWEL	4

Name something a chicken would hate to see the farmer holding.

AN AXE/KNIFE	73	HER CHICKS	2
HER EGGS	5	A GUN	2
HER/HER NECK	3	A FOX	2
A DEAD CHICKEN	2	KFC/FRIED CHICKEN	2

Name something that whether it's real or fake, men don't care.

HER MILKSHAKES	66	HER BIG "O"	2
HAIR/HAIR COLOR	12	LICENSE/I.D.	2
DESIGNER DUDS/SHOES	3	EYELASHES	2
AN APPLE BOOTY	2	DIAMONDS/JEWELRY	2

Name something Mrs. Claus wants out of the bedroom so she and Santa can be more romantic.

ELVES/PERVY ELF	47	FOOD/CANDY	5
REINDEER/PETS	15	THE DANG SLEIGH	3
TOYS/GIFTS	9	THE TV	3
SANTA'S OUTFIT	6	CHRISTMAS TREE	3

We asked 100 women...
Name a word starting with B that you might use to describe your bottom.

BIG	32	BODACIOUS	6
BUTT/BUTTOCKS	26	BUM	5
BOUNCY	7	BEAUTIFUL	5
BUMPY	7	BUBBLE/BUBBLICIOUS	3

Name a word a woman might use to describe a date that rhymes with "dunk."

HUNK	32	FUNK	6
PUNK	24	SKUNK	6
DRUNK	8	JUNK	4
STUNK	7	SUNK	4

We asked 100 men...
When you swim in cold water, your manhood shrinks to the size of what fruit?

BANANA	31	CHERRY	6
GRAPE	26	LEMON	3
PRUNE	11	PEACH	3
RAISIN	9	APPLE	2

We asked 100 women...
Name a food you'd use to make a bust of your bust.

MELONS	31	BREAD	8
CHOCOLATE	14	ORANGES	8
MASHED POTATOES	12	BUTTER	5
CAKE	10	GROUND BEEF	3

We asked 100 married men...
Tell me one reason your wife will never work at Hooters.

ODD BOD/NO JUGS	29	NOT HER FIELD/SKILL	9
HAS JOB/MAKES MORE $	14	SHE'S OLD/30+	7
TOO MORAL	12	SHE'S TOO SMART	5
I WON'T ALLOW	10	SHY/HATES ATTN.	5

We asked 100 single women...
The good news is your blind date is sexy. The bad news is he's what?

BROKE/JOBLESS	19	GAY	12
STUPID	17	ARROGANT/A DOUCHE	7
MARRIED	15	90	5
BORING	12	SHORT	4

Name something a cowboy might say to his horse and his gal.

GIDDYUP!	40	LET'S RIDE	8
WHOA, NELLIE!	9	BEAUTIFUL/NICE EYES	7
I LOVE YOU	8	HOWDY/HELLO	6
YEE-HAW!	8	GO/LET'S GO!	4

Tell me the worst time to ask a celebrity for an autograph.

PEEING/PAINFUL DUMP	32	ON RED CARPET	3
EATING	29	SHOPPING	3
WHILE PERFORMING	11	WHILE PUKING	2
FUNERAL	8	IN COURT/ON TRIAL	2

The secret to a happy marriage is to have separate what?

BANK ACCTS./MONEY	29	HOUSES	5
BEDROOMS/BEDS	24	HOBBIES/INTERESTS	4
BATHROOMS/SINKS	16	TOOTHBRUSHES	4
CARS	5	VACATIONS	3

Name something a dog might do if it sees Donald Trump's hair.

BARK/HOWL	38	GROWL	6
RUN AWAY/HIDE	13	CRY/WHIMPER	4
PEE/POO ON IT	12	BARF	3
ATTACK/BITE/EAT IT	10	HUMP IT/MAKE PUPPIES	3

Give me a specific word that scares men.

MARRIAGE	36	LOVE	6
COMMITMENT	22	HOUSEWORK	2
PREGNANT	10	TALK	2
ALIMONY	9	DIVORCE	2

Name a bird a chicken might pretend to be if it sees Colonel Sanders coming its way.

TURKEY	27	CROW	7
DUCK	16	EAGLE	6
HAWK	13	PIGEON	5
VULTURE/BUZZARD	12	OSTRICH	3

Name something you'd be shocked to hear your grandmother got caught doing.

SEX/FLICK'G BEAN	20	SMOKING/CIGARS	10
STEALING	17	SKINNY-DIPPING	7
DRUGS/'SHROOMS	17	HOOKING ON CORNER	3
DRINK'G/& DRIVING	12	WATCHING PORN	3

Name something a magician might pull out of his pants that's a foot long.

HOT DOG	18	SNAKE	8
SCARF/HANKY	18	RULER	7
BALLOON	17	HIS HAIRY HOUDINI	6
RABBIT	11	SUB SANDWICH	4

Name something you'd hate to find in your meatball.

HAIR/FUR	42	VEGGIES/ONION	4
MAGGOTS/BUG/WORM	20	EGGSHELL	2
BONE	11	SEVERED FINGER	2
FINGERNAIL	5	TEETH	2

Name something you'd never want to see your father wearing.

GAL DUDS	36	SANDALS/WITH SOCKS	4
SPEEDO	18	CAP/GOOFY HAT	3
HIS UNDIES/MAN THONG	18	BIRTHDAY SUIT	2
SHORT SHORTS	5	MAKEUP	2

Name a specific musical instrument that sounds like you in the bathroom.

TUBA	33	DRUMS/BONGOS	9
TROMBONE	12	VIOLIN	5
FLUTE	11	PIANO	4
TRUMPET	10	GUITAR	4

Name something of his wife's a man might wear that he would really stretch out.

PANTIES/THONG	29	BRA	8
SHIRT/CUTE TANK	15	SHOES	7
PANTS/JEGGINGS	13	SHORTS/BIKE SHORTS	3
SOCKS/STOCKINGS	10	SWEATER	3

We asked 100 women...
If you had x-ray vision, what would you hate to see under your date's clothing?

A GUN	21	HIS POO-STAIN UNDIES	10
MASSES OF HAIR	15	SOCK/FAKE BULGE	8
PANTIES/MINE	12	HIS PECULIAR WANG	8
FAT MOUNDS	11	A VA-JAY	3

We asked 100 women...
Give me a word starting with S that describes how your man kisses.

SWEETLY	19	SENSUOUS/SENSUALLY	14
SLOPPILY	14	SLOWLY	6
SEXILY	14	SHORT	4
SOFTLY	14	SENSITIVELY	3

Name something a woman with good looks might have that's bad.

PERSONALITY/'TUDE	54	BOOB JOB/SURGERY	3
BREATH/B.O.	10	FASHION SENSE	3
TEETH	9	TEMPER	2
STD/GONORRHEA	4	HAIR	2

Name something a wife hides from her husband until he finishes his weekend chores.

REMOTE/TV	42	BILLS/SPENDING	4
BOOZE	14	$/HIS ALLOWANCE	4
BOOBS/THIRSTY LOINS	9	SPORTS EQUIP.	4
HER HOT LINGERIE	6	FOOD	4

Name a command the Dog Whisperer might accidentally whisper to his wife.

SIT	41	HUSH/QUIET	5
STAY	12	HEEL	5
ROLL OVER	8	COME/HERE	5
FETCH	7	LIE DOWN	4

Name something a hitchhiker might be holding that would make you not pick him up.

GUN	38	BIG STICK	5
KNIFE/SWORD	13	BACKPACK	4
AXE	13	SEVERED BODY PART	3
BOOZE/BOXED WINE	8	BASEBALL BAT	3

Fill in the blank: If I can't be beautiful, I at least want to be what?

SMART	34	HEALTHY/STD-FREE	3
RICH/TOP 1%	33	HORSE-WANGED	2
DOABLE	7	SKINNY/WAIFLIKE	2
HAPPY	4	NICE	2

If your boss answers your phone, name someone you hope isn't calling.

DOTING PARENTS	31	BILL COLLECTOR	5
SPOUSE/KINKY MATE	22	MY DRUG DEALER	4
FRIEND/FRAT BRO	11	CRAZY STALKER EX	4
RECRUITER/NEW BOSS	7	PAROLE OFFICER	3

Name a place grandma tells grandpa to go.

TO BED	29	THE DOCTOR	4
STRAIGHT TO HELL	21	THE BATHROOM	4
THE STORE	18	CHURCH	3
OUTSIDE/ON PORCH	6	LONG WALK...SHORT PIER	2

Name something you'd see a restaurant chef holding that would make you leave.

ANIMAL/BUG/TRAP	62	HEALTH DEPT. NOTICE	2
TISSUE/SNOT-RAG	6	GUN/AIMED AT ME	2
KNIFE/BLOODY ONE	6	FINGER/SEVERED	2
HIS QUIVER'G MEMBER	4	TOILET PLUNGER	2

Fill in the blank: Grandma must be a magician because she just pulled a ______ out of her cleavage.

$/COIN/WALLET	41	TISSUE/HANKY	7
TICKED-OFF RABBIT	13	REMOTE	2
BAKED HAM/SNACK	10	GUN	2
PHONE	9	HUMAN/MARIACHI BAND	2

Name someone you've given the finger to when they weren't looking.

BOSS/COWORKER	32	MOM/PARENT	6
BAD DRIVERS	15	SIBLING	4
SPOUSE/MATE	15	A BLIND PERSON	4
COP	7	MY CHILDREN	3

Name a specific word that describes both a person's and a chicken's thighs.

FAT	28	SKINNY	5
MEATY	25	DELICIOUS	4
PLUMP	10	BIG	4
LEGS	6	THICK	4

Name something you did as a teen you still don't want your parents to know about.

DRANK	27	SKIPPED SCHOOL	5
BOINKED/CHESS TEAM	15	BROKE CURFEW	5
DRUGS/DAD'S WEED	14	STOLE/SHOPLIFTED	5
SMOKED CIGS	11	TOOK CAR/NO LICENSE	4

If dogs dated, name something they might do together on their date.

EAT/CHEW BONES	24	CHASE CATS/CRITTERS	7
WALK/RUN/IN PARK	20	HUMP/DOGGY-STYLE	7
SNIFF EACH OTHER	8	TAKE A SQUIRT	6
PLAY/FETCH	8	LICK/KISS	6

Name something in the house a nearsighted dog might try to mate with.

STUFFED ANIMAL/BEAR	23	PILLOW	8
COUCH	15	CHAIR	7
THE CAT	13	FOOTSTOOL/OTTOMAN	5
PERSON'S LEG	11	LAMP	4

We asked 100 married men...
Name one thing your wife likes better than you.

KIDS/ANYONE'S	20	FACEBOOK	7
TV/MOVIES	17	SHOPPING	7
MONEY	14	COOKING	7
PET/GERBIL	9	READING	5

The one thing grandma wants to know about her blind date is if he can what?

DANCE/POLKA	20	SEE	8
DRIVE/AT NIGHT	15	COOK	7
POP A CHUB	14	HEAR	7
WALK	9	PAY/SUPPORT HER	6

Name something an angry wife might bake in a pie when she's mad at her guy.

LAXATIVE/DIURETIC	33	DOG FOOD	6
BLADES/KNIFE	12	POOP/HERS	4
POISON/CYANIDE	12	GARLIC	3
HOT SAUCE/PEPPERS	12	HAIR/SHORT-N-CURLIES	3

We asked 100 married women...
Name a kind of car that describes your husband in the bedroom.

MUSTANG	29	PORSCHE	6
JAGUAR	12	CADILLAC	5
FERRARI	12	BMW	5
TRUCK/FORD ESCAPE	11	STATION WAGON	5

Name something a bitter ex-wife pours on her ex-husband's belongings.

GASOLINE	48	BEER/BOOZE	4
BLEACH	13	HONEY	3
GREASE/OIL	5	PEE/CAT PEE	3
ACID	5	PAINT	3

Name something that comes out of you that you can't put back in.

PEE/5 LB. DUMP	36	BLOOD	5
WORDS/ANGER	14	HAIR	5
BABY/KIDS	8	SWEAT	4
SNOT/SNEEZE	8	TEARS	4

We asked 100 married women...
Give me a word starting with the letter B that describes your man in the nude.

BIG	24	BURLY	7
BUFF	18	BARE	6
BEEFY	9	BEAUTIFUL	6
BRAWNY	9	BAD	5

Name something a man might bring home that his wife would not be happy about.

HIS LOVER/FRED	31	BOOZE	5
FRIEND/COWORKER	15	PORN/CLOWN PORN	5
DOG/NEW PET	12	GUNS	4
NEW CAR/PORSCHE	7	MOTORCYCLE	4

Name an animal it might be fun to be just for one day.

BIRD/CHICKEN	29	MONKEY/APE	6
DOG/POMERANIAN	19	TIGER	5
LION	9	HORSE	5
CAT	7	FOX	3

If the Easter Bunny pooped candy, what specific candy would he poop?

JELLY BEANS	25	PEEPS	6
CHOCOLATE EGGS	16	RAISINETS	5
HERSHEY'S KISSES	13	MILK DUDS	4
SKITTLES	10	M&M'S	4

We asked 100 men...
What would a woman do in your car on a first date that would make it your last date?

PUKE/IN MY LAP	31	TEXT/CALL HER EX	5
FART & LOCK WINDOWS	20	HIT/SLAP ME	3
SMOKE CIG	12	TUNE RADIO/KENNY G	3
KISS/SEDUCE ME	5	SNOBBY/INSULT CAR	3

Name a word a wife calls the woman her husband dumped her for.

BEEYATCH	26	MISTRESS	6
SLUT	14	TRAMP	5
WHORE/HO	13	HOME-WRECKER	5
HUSSY	9	FLOOZY	4

Name something a female nudist might wear to look sexy.

JEWELRY/NIP RINGS	24	HAT/COWBOY HAT	7
HEELS/SHOES	14	FLOWERS	5
NOTHING/A SMILE	12	MAKEUP/BRONZER	5
LINGERIE/STOCKINGS	12	SUNGLASSES	3

We asked 100 married women...
As a prank, what might you put in your husband's underwear?

CHOCOLATE/FOOD	24	ICE CUBES	7
ITCHING POWDER	13	CRITTER/FAKE ONE	7
A SOCK	11	LOVE NOTE/CARD	7
BEN GAY/MENTHOL	9	STARCH	4

If a man cheats on his wife, name something of his she might throw into a wood chipper.

CLOTHES/SHOES	23	MEMORABILIA	5
HIM/HIS MAN BERRIES	17	WALLET/MONEY	4
CELL PHONE	15	HIS PICTURE	3
SPORTS EQUIPMENT	12	PICKLE PLEASIN' HO	3

After the groom is a no-show, name something the bride cuts with the cake knife.

WEDDING DRESS	18	HERSELF/WRISTS	8
THE CAKE	14	CAKE TOPPER GROOM	7
GROOM/HIS THROAT	14	THE BEST MAN	6
HIS PICTURE	10	THE FLOWERS	5

Name something a wife might do while her cheating husband sleeps.

CHECK PHONE/E-MAIL	22	TAKE HIS MONEY	8
CUT DONG	13	CHEAT/RIDE A STUD	8
TOSS HIS STUFF	10	SHAVE HIM/EYEBROWS	7
LEAVE THE MANSLUT	8	KILL HIM	4

We asked 100 men...
Name something women have that you'd like to have.

BODY/JUGS & COOCH	18	SEX APPEAL/LOOKS	8
BRAINS/SENSE	15	DUDS/FLUFFY SOCKS	6
THICK HAIR	13	MONEY	5
NOTHING	10	MULTIPLE "O"S	5

Name something you're pretty sure they won't let you do in heaven.

SWEAR	16	DRINK	9
KILL	13	GAMBLE	7
SLUT IT UP/ORGY	13	DRUGS/TOKE A DOOB	6
SMOKE	11	WATCH TV	5

If you had a choice, name something you'd like to be holding when you die.

LOVED ONE/HAND	46	TEDDY BEAR	3
PICS/OF FAMILY	10	JEWELRY/RING	3
MY PET/BOA	6	MY SALUTING SALAMI	3
BOOBS/HOT BIMBO	5	MY MONEY	3

You're going to prison and you can bring one thing with you. What do you choose?

PHONE	31	KEY TO MY CELL	5
COMPUTER/TABLET	14	MY SPOUSE/MATE	4
BOOK/MAG/BIBLE	10	MY PILLOW	4
GUN	7	BIG BOX OF RUBBERS	3

Name something a wife refers to when she tells her husband, "Either it goes or I do."

PET/SNAKE	26	TV/SPORTS	6
*CLOTHES/NSYNC TEE**	13	OLD MAGS/PORN	5
RECLINER/FURN.	11	CAR/'76 GREMLIN	4
OTHER GIRL/TRAMP	7	THE BOOZE	4

We asked 100 single men...
I'm not really interested in a woman if she has what?

KIDS	15	BAGGAGE/ISSUES	8
B.O./BAD BREATH	13	BAD SKIN/WARTS	7
A MAN/HUSBAND	10	FUR/CHEST HAIR	6
'TUDE/BAD PERSONALITY	9	STD/MORE THAN 2	6

If your grandpa were on Twitter, name something he might tweet about.

GRANDMA	21	FISHING/HUNTING	6
KIDS	11	WEATHER	5
OLD DAYS/JOB	10	SPORTS	4
AILMENTS/CONSTIPATED	8	DEATHS/FUNERAL	4

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