"Family Feud" surveys | Season 23

We asked 100 men...
Bodybuilders have biceps the size of a melon. What fruit is the size of yours?

100

APPLE	32	KUMQUAT	11
LEMON	20	PLUM	4
ORANGE	18	GRAPE	2
GRAPEFRUIT	13

We asked 100 single women...
Name something you might do in a sexier way if you knew a hot guy was watching you.

100

STRUT	27	BEND OVER	9
LICK MY LIPS	24	LICK ICE CREAM/EAT	6
BAT EYELASHES	15	DRESS/CHANGE	6
SMILE	13

Fill in the blank: A bull might tell a cow, "I like the way you ______."

MOO	47	LOOK, HOTTIE!	7
MOOOVE	19	SWAT FLIES W/ TAIL	3
CHEW/GRAZE	11	SMELL	2
SQUIRT MILK	10

We asked 100 single people...
Tell me the worst way to find out you got dumped.

TEXT	42	VOICEMAIL/CALL	8
SOCIAL MEDIA POST	17	FROM A FRIEND	6
E-MAIL	12	GHOSTING	2
SEE 'EM W/ SOMEONE	12

Name something about the Wicked Witch of the West that's the reason she's still single.

MEAN!	38	CAN'T BATHE/MELTS	3
UGLY/WARTY NOSE	24	PET MONKEYS	2
GREEN SKIN	24	GOTHIC CLOTHES	2
THAT CACKLE/VOICE	6

Fill in the blank: Careful bending over in a crowd, or someone might ______ your bottom.

SPANK/PAT	55	KICK	3
PINCH/GRAB	18	PHOTOGRAPH/INSTA	2
SEE/STARE AT	14	POKE/GOOSE	2
EXPOSE	4

Name something a cheating husband buys his mistress with cash so there's no paper trail.

RING/JEWELRY	55	HOTEL ROOM	7
FLOWERS	12	CAR	3
DINNER/FOOD	10	HOUSE/CONDO	2
LINGERIE/RUBBER BRA	9

We asked 100 divorced women...
Divorcing your husband was a win-win. You don't have to see him or his ______ anymore.

TRASH FAMILY	52	CHEAP BEER	5
SKANKY HO	13	LAME TV SHOWS	5
NASTY FACE/BOD	11	LOSER FRIENDS	3
LAUNDRY/MESS	9

Name a movie monster who'd leave a big cement footprint at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

GODZILLA	51	SWAMP THING	2
KING KONG	26	JAMES P. "SULLY" SULLIVAN	2
BIGFOOT	11	HULK	2
FRANKENSTEIN	4

When Santa retires and moves to South Beach, name something he's not going to need.

SUIT/WINTER GARB	51	LONG BEARD	4
SLEIGH	23	HIS OLD LADY	3
MANGY REINDEER	9	A HEATER	3
ORNERY ELVES	5

Fill in the blank: My aunt must still think I'm a baby because she kissed my ______.

CHEEK	41	BELLY	3
FOREHEAD/HEAD	39	NOSE	3
LIPS	6	BOO-BOO/CUT	2
BARE BOOTY	4

We asked 100 married men...
Fill in the blank: It's bad if you cheat. But you're going to hell if you cheat with your ______.

SISTER-IN-LAW	37	OWN SISTER	6
WIFE'S BFF	22	BOSS	4
MOTHER-IN-LAW	17	OWN COUSIN	4
EX	8

When Old MacDonald and his wife role-play in the bedroom, she dresses up as a farmer. He dresses up as which animal?

COW/BULL	37	DOG	4
HORSE	22	DONKEY/MULE	4
SHEEP/LAMB	14	CHICKEN/ROOSTER	4
PIG	13

We asked 100 women...
Tell me a way your husband is not like Steve Harvey.

NOT FUNNY	36	DOESN'T WEAR SUITS	4
NOT RICH	33	HUBBY'S HOTTER	4
NOT FAMOUS	13	HAS HAIR	3
NOT BLACK	5

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: I like men who smell like ______.

SOAP/CLEAN	35	MONEY!	4
COLOGNE/AFTERSHAVE	28	SWEATY MEN	2
OCEAN/NATURE	17	FLOWERS	2
FOOD/SPICES	10

You look professional to everyone at your work Zoom meeting. But what are you wearing from the waist down?

NADA, BABY!	29	DRESS PANTS/JEANS	10
UNDIES/MY WIFE'S	21	SWEATS	9
BUTT-FLAP PJ'S	15	LEGGINGS	3
SHORTS	11

We asked 100 married women...
Name something you ask your husband for using your sexiest voice.

MASSAGE/FEET	26	TAKE OUT TRASH	7
FOOD/DRINK	23	HELP CLEAN	5
SEXY TIME/IN SHOWER	18	KISSES	3
MONEY, HONEY	16

Name a sea creature the Little Mermaid might hitch a ride on.

DOLPHIN/PORPOISE	24	FISH/SHARK	10
SEAHORSE	24	CRAB/SEBASTIAN	5
WHALE/ORCA	19	OCTOPUS	5
SEA TURTLE	11

Name a place that a man takes a woman on a date so she'll think he's smart.

MUSEUM/GALLERY	63	LECTURE	4
PLAY/OPERA	13	BOOKSTORE	3
LIBRARY	7	CLASSICAL CONCERT	2
EATERY/FRENCH MENU	5

If a housesitter ran out of toilet paper, what would you hate to discover they used instead?

TOWEL/WASHCLOTH	61	CURTAIN	4
CLOTHES/MY TIE	10	KLEENEX	4
NEWSPAPER/BOOK	9	BEDDING	2
NAPKIN/PAPER TOWEL	7

Name something Snow White might be sick and tired of doing for the seven dwarfs.

CLEANING/LAUNDRY	58	CARRYING THEM	2
COOKING	26	SMILING	2
FRENCH KISSING	4	REACH'G HIGH PLACES	2
SINGING	3

Tell me something that some people pay to have done to their bottoms.

SHRINK/ENLARGE	55	TANNING	2
WAXING	21	BLEACH MR. BROWN EYE	2
SPANKING	8	MEDICAL EXAM	2
TATTOO	7

Name something a doctor asks you to do that sounds kind of sexy.

UNDRESS	50	OPEN LEGS/STIRRUP	5
BEND OVER	21	LIE BACK/RELAX	3
OPEN UP/SAY "AHH"	10	SELF-EXAM	2
BREATHE DEEPLY	6

Name a carnival ride you shouldn't go on after eating several greasy corn dogs.

COASTER/WITH LOOPS	47	SCRAMBLER/TWISTER	4
TILT-A-WHIRL	24	TEACUPS	3
FERRIS WHEEL	13	ZIPPER	2
MERRY-GO-ROUND	4

Fill in the blank: Personally, I think I have a hot-looking what?

BOD/TRIPLE NIPPLE	45	KID	2
SWEETIE	27	HAIRDO	2
FACE/SMILE	13	SIBLING! YUM!	2
CAR/TRUCK	6

Fill in the blank: I see London, I see France. I see ______ in your underpants.

SPOT/TURD	39	MOUSE/RAT	4
HOLE/TEAR	23	BUTT CRACK	3
BULGE	13	HAND/HOTTIE	3
BUG/CRABS	12

Name something a man does at a party that would embarrass his wife.

GET SLOSHED	37	FART/CROP DUST	6
DANCE/ON POLE	20	SING/ABBA SONGS	5
FLIRT/KISS GUYS	17	GET NEKKID!	4
SPEAK/DAD JOKES	8

Name something about Miss Piggy that other pigs make fun of.

VOICE/LAUGH	34	CLOTHES/BRA	10
FACE/MAKEUP	18	PUDGY BOD	5
DATES A FROG	14	SNOOTY 'TUDE	3
HAIR/BOW	13

Name something a man might do if his wife threw out his lucky underwear.

MAD/CRY/CUSS	33	GO COMMANDO	6
DUMPSTER DIVE	27	WEAR OTHERS/HERS	5
BUY NEW PAIR	17	DIVORCE HER	2
TOSS HER STUFF	7

We asked 100 men...
My girlfriend texted me "Dinner's on me" and then I found her lying on the table with a piece of what on her naked body?

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	33	SUSHI/SEAFOOD	9
PIZZA	20	BREAD	5
FRUIT	18	BUTTER	3
MEAT/CHICKEN	9

If roles were reversed, what might a turkey do to you on Thanksgiving?

COOK/BASTE ME	27	PECK ME	5
STUFF ME	26	PARDON/SET FREE	4
EAT ME	24	PLUCK ME	3
KILL/BEHEAD ME	8

We asked 100 married men...
Fill in the blank: My wife's panties are ______er than my undies.

SOFTER	20	BRIGHTER COLORED	12
CLEANER	20	DIRTIER	5
SEXIER/CUTER	20	BIGGER	5
SMALLER	15

If Abraham Lincoln showed up today, what about him would people make fun of?

CLOTHES/HAT	61	HAIRSTYLE	3
HIS HEIGHT	11	DECAYED CORPSE	2
THE BEARD	11	BIG EARS	2
FACE/NOSE	6

The magician started to dance when what animal got loose in his pants?

RABBIT	54	BUGS/FIRE ANTS	5
SNAKE/CONSTRICTOR	18	FERRET	3
PISSY BIRD	8	DOG	2
MOUSE/RAT	6

Dear Instagrammers: Nobody wants to see a picture of your what?

BOD/BADONK	53	KID/ULTRASOUND	4
FOOD	21	CLOTHES/CLOSET	4
FACE/DUCK LIPS	6	TATTOO	2
PET	6

You'd love to have one of Steve Harvey's what?

MILLIONS	50	JOKES	5
SUITS/TIES	21	SHOWS/JOBS	3
CARS	9	MANSIONS/VILLAS	3
BABIES	5

Name something that can be dangerous to have on your lap when you're driving.

FOOD/HOT DRINK	47	A HOT BABE	3
PET/SQUIRREL	25	WEAPON/BOMB	3
A CHILD	11	A VIBRATOR	2
PHONE	5

Name something you might start doing if your new neighbors are nudists.

CLOSE BLINDS	43	MOVE!	8
BUILD FENCE	16	JOIN 'EM/NUDE	6
SPY/BINOCULARS	12	TALL THORNY BUSHES	2
AVOID/NOT LOOK!	9

Name something that might make you suspect your new house is haunted.

NOISES/VOICES	40	LIGHTS FLICKER	7
DOORS OPEN/CLOSE	15	DEATH/BODY IN HOME	3
MOVING OBJECTS	15	DARK SHADOWS	2
ORNERY GHOST	14

We asked 100 married women...
You shoved the cake in your husband's face at your wedding. What would you like to shove in it now?

MY FIST/HAND	34	PILLOW/TILL HE DIES	7
SOCK/CLOTHES	19	MY FOOT	6
MY FACE/TONGUE	16	POOP	3
MORE CAKE/PIE	11

Name something at a nursing home that two older women fight over.

OLD MEN/MALE NURSE	63	BEDPAN	2
FOOD/PUDDING	11	CLOTHES/HOUSECOAT	2
WHO SITS WHERE	9	BINGO/GAME	2
REMOTE	6

We asked 100 men...
What's the number one thing women shouldn't talk about on a first date?

EX/GUYS	63	SEX/TIMES PER YEAR	4
MARRIAGE	9	HER MOM/YOURS	3
HAVING KIDS	7	POLITICS	2
MONEY	7

Name something you do at work that you hope no one can hear.

CROP DUST	57	POOP/SNAP A YAM	3
SING/BRITNEY	16	CRY & MOAN	2
TALK/CUSS	11	SLEEP/YAWN	2
BURP	4

It's bad if you share your bed with a visiting relative. It's worse if they do what all night?

SNORE	53	JIBBER-JABBER	4
HAVE THE WINDS	22	MOAN/YELL	2
"GET BUSY"	7	KICK YOU	2
SPOON YOU	5

Jane knows Tarzan's in the mood for love whenever he puts on his loincloth made out of what?

ANIMAL SKIN/FUR	47	GRASS/STRAW	3
SILK/LACE	25	FEATHERS	2
LEAVES	13	CANDY	2
FLOWER PETALS	3

Name a place where you would hate to have a seat by the bathroom.

RESTAURANT/BAR	46	SPORTING EVENT	4
AIRPLANE	25	G.I. DOC'S OFFICE	2
BUS	11	WORK	2
THEATER/MOVIES	5

Fill in the blank: You never want to hear someone tell you, "______ is looking for you."

THE FUZZ/FBI	44	YOUR MOM	6
THE BOSS	22	YOUR EX	5
THE IRS	9	MOTHER-IN-LAW	2
SATAN/DEATH	7

Name someone whose call you might take when you're on the toilet.

MOM/DAD	43	SIBLING	4
MY SWEETIE	29	FRIEND	4
BOSS	7	GASTROENTEROLOGIST	3
MY KID	5

We asked 100 single women...
Tell me something an older guy might have that a younger one might not.

FRESH CHEDDA	42	A HOUSE	5
LIFE EXPERIENCE	22	VIAGRA	5
KIDS	9	PATIENCE	3
RESPECT/MANNERS	9

If all the U.S. presidents were alive, single, and ready to mingle, who would you date?

JOHN F. KENNEDY	41	GEORGE WASHINGTON	4
BARACK OBAMA	25	THOMAS JEFFERSON	3
RONALD REAGAN	13	BILL CLINTON	2
ABE LINCOLN	7

We asked 100 women...
Name something you'd like to do to your man when he starts whining.

POP/KICK HIM	41	SUPPORT/KISS	6
LEAVE/IGNORE	18	THROW STUFF	6
GAG/DUCT TAPE	13	"CHILL/SUCK IT UP"	2
WHINE BACK	9

We asked 100 women...
I was grossed out when my date did what like my dog?

ATE/HIS POO	39	POTTIED/ON RUG	5
LICKED SELF & ME	25	SNIFFED/BUTTS	3
SCRATCHED	13	BELCHED	3
FARTED	7

Name something the best office party ever would have.

OPEN BAR	37	REEFER	6
DELISH FOOD	21	STRIPPERS	6
$$$/PRIZES/GAMES	12	CELEB/CARROT TOP	2
BAND/DJ	11

Name a subject couples should discuss by talking, not texting.

FINANCES	35	DIVORCE	6
KIDS/"I'M PREGGO"	23	RECENT FIGHT	4
SEX	13	INFIDELITY	3
GETTING MARRIED	11

We asked 100 married men...
Name something other women wear you wish your wife would wear.

LINGERIE/BUTT FLOSS	32	MAKEUP	10
SEXY DRESS/SKIRT	20	DAISY DUKES	7
BIKINI	12	SKIMPY TOP/HALTER	3
10-INCH HEELS	11

We asked 100 married women...
You wish it weren't true, but name something your husband spends more time holding than you.

PHONE	26	HIS GUN	8
REMOTE	18	GAME CONTROLLER	6
BEER	16	CIGARETTE	5
HIS DANGLER	16

We asked 100 men...
Name something that might be fun to do like a pirate.

PILLAGE/TREASURE	23	WEAR EYEPATCH	9
SAIL	21	DRINK RUM	9
TALK/AHOY, MATEY!	18	SWORD FIGHT	5
WALK	10

We asked 100 married men...
Tell me something your wife has thrown at you.

KISSES	22	PLATES/DISHES	10
REMOTE	20	NEWSPAPER/PAPER	8
HER RING	19	PLANT/CACTUS	5
FOOD	11

We asked 100 women...
Tell me the one part of Steve Harvey's body you'd like to touch.

SLICK HEAD	64	LIPS/TEETH	4
MUSTACHE	10	MASSIVE BICEPS/ARMS	3
HAND	6	CUTE CHEEKS	2
BOOTY/SPHINCTER	5

Fill in the blank: They call Susan "the camel" because of her ______.

HUMPS/CURVES	61	FACE/MOUTH	2
TIGHT PANTS	15	COARSE BEIGE HAIR	2
DRINKING	9	LONG LEGS	2
ODD FEET	3

You're not a stripper. But where have you been known to strip your clothes off?

HOME/KITCHEN	58	HOTEL/SEEDY MOTEL	2
BEACH/LAKE	16	THE BAR	2
POOL/HOT TUB	9	CAR/WHILE DRIVING	2
GYM	5

Name a prop that a male stripper called Nurse Nick might use in his act.

STETHOSCOPE	56	NEEDLE/SYRINGE	6
THERMOMETER/RECTAL	12	RUBBER GLOVES	4
NURSE UNIFORM	7	BEDPAN	2
POLE	7

Name something a person might want out of.

RELATIONSHIP	48	JURY DUTY	5
PRISON	16	THE CAR	2
CONTRACT/LEASE	14	THE MAFIA	2
JOB	7

We asked 100 men...
What would you want your superpower to be?

FLYING	42	X-RAY VISION	9
SUPER STRENGTH	16	A SUPER WANG	2
MIND READING	13	TELEPORT/KINESIS	2
INVISIBILITY	10

Name the circus performer that probably has the shortest lifespan.

ANIMAL TAMER	40	ANIMAL	5
ACROBAT/TIGHT ROPE	31	FAT/BEARDED LADY	4
CLOWN	5	HUMAN CANNONBALL	4
FIRE-EAT/THROWER	5

Name something a male stripper from Texas might wear in honor of his state.

COWBOY HAT	37	LONGHORNS	6
FLAG/LONE STAR	23	BIG BELT BUCKLE	4
BOOTS	15	GUN/HOLSTER	3
SPURS	6

We asked 100 men...
What might a first date do in your car that would make it the last date?

BLOW CHUNKS	34	CRY	7
CALL OF DOODY	20	GOSSIP	5
SMOKE	14	PICK NOSE	5
BURP	9

A strip club owner tells the strippers, "The show must go on, even if you don't have" what?

COSTUME/PASTIES	34	ANY TIPS COMING	8
CUSTOMERS	19	THE WILL/ENERGY	3
MUSIC	15	BOOBS/HOT BOD	3
A POLE	12

Gary the groom is delusional. He thinks his bride will let him go where anytime he wants?

DRINKING/CLUBBING	31	CASINO	6
NUDIE JOINT	29	BOWLING	2
GOLFING	15	BEULAH'S BROTHEL	2
FISHING/HUNTING	9

Name something a magician might have up his sleeve.

CARDS/AN ACE	31	HIS ARM	3
RABBIT	26	DOVE/BIRD	3
HANKIE/SCARF	20	WAND	2
FLOWERS	9

We asked 100 women...
You're dating a cute guy who kisses like a slobbery Saint Bernard. What do you do?

TELL HIM/"STOP"	24	BACK AWAY	6
WIPE OFF	21	TEACH HIM	3
DUMP HIM	21	"KISS ME BELOW NECK"	3
KISS-FREE RELA'SHIP	16

Name a reason Steve Harvey might put on a wig.

WANTS HAIR	21	HE'S COLD	12
HALLOWEEN	21	ACT/PLAY RICK JAMES	7
AS JOKE	16	INTO DRAG	2
INCOGNITO/BUY WEED	15

We asked 100 women...
Name something it would be a turnoff to see in your man's bathtub.

HAIR CLUMP	39	BUBBLES	6
DIRT/SCUM/MOLD	19	2 CHICKS & A DUDE	3
A TURD/PEE	15	LADY'S RAZOR	3
RUBBER DUCKY	8

Bad news: you died. Worse news: they're burying you next to who?

POLITICIAN	35	WORST ENEMY	6
MY EX	18	COW/ANIMAL	4
FAMILY/IN-LAW	18	A COMEDIAN	3
CRIMINAL/MY KILLER	9

We asked 100 women...
Name someone you'd be surprised gave you sexy lingerie for your birthday.

MOM/DAD	35	KID/CREEPY SON	8
BOSS/COWORKER	15	SIBLING	7
MOTHER-IN-LAW	12	GRANDPARENTS	4
DULL HUBBY	12

We talked to 100 married men...
What's the least sexy thing your wife has ever worn in the bedroom?

SWEATS/JOG PANTS	32	NIGHTGOWN	7
FLANNEL/FOOTIE PJ'S	30	DIAPER	3
SOCKS	9	BATHROBE	3
GRANNY PANTIES	9

A wife would love an app that alerts her whenever her husband goes where?

BAR/CLUB	55	SKANK'S HOUSE	3
STRIP JOINT	14	CASINO/TRACK	3
ANYWHERE/OUT	9	BANK/ATM	3
MALL/STORE	5

Mid-flight, you'd hate to hear the pilot say, "Howdy folks -- this is your captain speaking. Sorry to inform you that I'm ______."

DRUNK/HIGH	54	LOST	4
OUTTA HERE/QUIT'G	12	TIRED/GONNA NAP	3
BLIND	8	NOT A PILOT/ONLY 15	3
SICK/DYING	8

Name something you hope your partner doesn't do the first time they see you naked.

LAUGH	54	GASP	5
MAKE FACE/CRINGE	10	RUN	5
PUKE/GAG	8	NOT LOOK/LIGHT OFF	4
CRY/SCREAM	6

Grandma said, "Snap, crackle, and pop aren't just the sounds of cereal -- they're also the sounds grandpa makes when he" does what?

STANDS UP	51	FARTS	5
WALKS/UP STAIRS	17	CHEWS	4
BENDS OVER	6	SEX	3
SNORES/SLEEPS	6

We asked 100 married women...
When it comes to your husband, sometimes you feel like you're sleeping next to what animal?

BEAR	50	OCTOPUS	3
PIG	15	ELEPHANT	3
DOG	13	HORSE	3
KING KONG	5

We asked 100 men...
Your date just threw up in your car. What do you do?

CLEAN UP/MAKE HER	49	GET TURNED ON/KISS	3
PULL OVER/HELP	22	RUN/LEAVE HER	3
THROW UP TOO	8	OPEN THE WINDOW	3
TAKE HER HOME	4

Name something you'd be shocked that Steve Harvey did to change his appearance.

SHAVED STACHE	45	BLEACHED SKIN	3
HAIR/BLOND MULLET	32	LONG BEARD	2
PLASTIC SURGERY	5	WORE WIFE'S CLOTHES	2
GOT BUFF	3

Name an excuse kids give for not doing homework that you could never use at your job.

DOG ATE IT	42	BUSY/SOCCER	5
TIRED/SENT TO BED	18	DON'T WANT TO	4
DON'T GET IT/HARD	12	SICK/MUMPS	3
FORGOT	8

Name a reason a man might leave his wife for a blow-up doll.

QUIET/WON'T NAG	38	BETTER BOD	4
BETTER/MORE SEX	26	WON'T CHEAT	2
HE'S WACKO	12	COMPANIONSHIP	2
SAVE $	8

Name a way you'd describe both a pizza and yourself.

TASTY/DELISH	35	SAUCY	7
CHEESY	19	DOUGHY	4
HOT	17	ROUND	2
SPICY	8

What does a mom do for her kids at night that you might like your mate to do for you?

HUG & KISS	34	READ STORY	7
TUCK IN	27	BATHE ME	6
RUB BACK	8	SING	3
MAKE FOOD/DRINK	7

Name something you'd be shocked that grandma got arrested for doing at bingo hall.

SHOWIN' HER GOODS	34	GUZZLING BOOZE	7
CHEATING	20	NOOKIE/FOR $	6
HIT/FIGHTING	11	STEALING	5
SMOKING GANJA	9

Boring bingo night turned into a wild bingo party when grandpa showed up with what?

BOOZE/KEG	33	MUSIC/A DJ	5
DRUGS/ACID	25	ANIMAL/SHEEP	3
HOT BABE/STRIPPER	18	FOOD/BUTTERSCOTCH	2
NO PANTS ON!	6

Name something that might be floppy.

EARS/BUNNY	30	HIS LIMP "NOODLE"	2
FLOPPY DISK	26	BIG OLE BELLY	2
HAT/BONNET	22	SHOES/SLIPPERS	2
WILD BOOBS	8

We asked 100 married men...
Name an animal with a bottom that's about the size of your mother-in-law's.

ELEPHANT	25	DONKEY/MULE	10
HIPPO	21	DOG	5
COW	17	HORSE	3
APE/MONKEY	11

What does a baby do when you hold it that you'd be creeped out if your mate did it when you held them?

BARF/SPIT UP	23	SUCKLE TA-TAS	10
PEE/DROP DOOKIES	21	DROOL	7
BE GASSY/BURP	17	SUCK THUMB/TOE	4
CRY/WHINE	10

Name something a woman pretends to like until after she's married, then the party's over.

BOW CHICKA WOW WOW	51	HIS BUDS	3
SPORTS	21	HIM!	2
HER IN-LAWS	7	HIS CORNY JOKES	2
SAME FOOD/COOK'G	5

I think there's a ghost in my house and he's a prankster. He keeps turning on my what?

LIGHTS	40	SPOUSE/MATE	5
TV	24	RADIO/STEREO	5
WATER/FAUCET	7	HEAT/AC	3
KITCHEN APPLIANCES	7

Name something that Santa Claus might say was the hardest part of his job.

DELIVER/FLY ALL NIGHT	36	CHECK LIST TWICE	4
CHIMNEYS	27	REINDEER/SMELL	4
THE KIDS	9	NORTH POLE	3
O.D. ON COOKIES/MILK	8

We asked 100 women...
Name something you're thankful that you don't do like a man.

USE THE BATHROOM/PEE	35	FART CONTESTS	5
SNORE/GRUNT	21	BURP	4
SHAVE	15	"PITCH A TENT"	2
SMELL	9

We asked 100 women...
When you first met your man, he gave you flowers. Now what does he give you?

HEADACHE/GRIEF	34	$$$/ALIMONY	5
NOTHING	33	JEWELRY	4
KISSES/HUGS	6	CANDY	3
FLOWERS/DANDELIONS	6

Name something you might start doing in the nude if you had a perfect body.

SUNBATHE	27	SLEEP	7
SWIM	25	EXERCISE/YOGA	6
DANCE/STRIPTEASE	12	WALK AROUND	6
POSE/MODEL	8

Name something both dogs and men never get tired of doing.

SLEEP/LIE AROUND	25	PLAYING/FETCH'G	7
EATING	23	PEE/POOP'G	6
CHASING TAIL/SEX	19	BARK/HOWL'G	3
SCRATCHING	8

Name something a wife might smack her husband's bottom with.

HAND	53	NEWSPAPER/MAG	3
TOWEL	15	SHOE	3
SPATULA/SPOON	11	WHIP	2
FLYSWATTER	3

Name a way a bridesmaid might ruin her friend's wedding.

SEDUCE GROOM	49	GOSSIP/COMPLAIN	4
DRINK TILL PUKE	20	"I'M ENGAGED!"	2
SEXY DRESS/IN WHITE	7	FORGET RINGS	2
NOT SHOW	6

Name something most men try to do in a sexy way that they just look foolish.

DANCE/TWERK	45	STYLE HAIR	4
FLIRT/WINK	18	DRESS	4
STRUT	11	STRIP	3
POSE/IN SELFIE	5

Name a cute animal that makes a cute nickname for a cute woman.

KITTY/CAT	43	DEER	2
BUNNY/RABBIT	23	OTTER	2
BIRD/DUCKY	10	POODLE/PUP	2
PANDA/BEAR	8

They say a woman is at her most beautiful when she's what?

PREGGO/DELIVERING	41	NATURAL/NO MAKEUP	6
HAPPY/SMILING	18	30/YOUNG	4
SLEEPING	11	MAD/READY TO KILL	3
IN LOVE	7

If you were in front of a firing squad, what might you ask for instead of a cigarette?

ALCOHOL	39	FORGIVENESS/PRAYER	6
BURGER/MUNCHIES	20	SHIELD/ARMOR	5
DRUGS/BLUNT	9	LOADED GUN	4
A PARDON	7

Name something you've popped.

BALLOON	36	BUBBLE WRAP	9
POPCORN	14	GUM	4
ZIT/MY LOVER'S	12	BUTTON/ON PANTS	3
CHAMPAGNE/CORK	12

Name something a man puts on when he's trying to be sexy.

COLOGNE	33	SKINNY JEANS	7
SUIT & TIE/TUX	18	SHORT SHORTS	6
TIGHT SHIRT	12	UNIFORM/U.P.S.	5
THONG/SILK BOXERS	9

Name something you'd hate to find out a hotel maid did with a pair of your underwear.

WORE/ON HEAD	30	TOUCHED 'EM	6
CLEANED/TOILET	21	THREW 'EM OUT	5
INHALED 'EM	19	DISPLAYED/ON POLE	3
STOLE 'EM	6

You must match exactly...
When Santa got divorced, he tried to impress women by telling them, "Hey... wanna see my ______?"

SLEIGH	29	JELLY BELLY	5
PACKAGE/SACK/TOY	24	WORKSHOP	5
REINDEER	15	"NORTH POLE"	5
ELF/LI'L HELPER	7

Becky interrupted her date and said, "Let's go back to the part where you said you have" what?

MILLIONS	29	WIFE/HUBBY	12
3 STD'S	15	JOB/AS GIGOLO	3
HOUSE/ISLAND	15	LIMO/SWEET RIDE	3
KIDS/WITH 6 WOMEN	13

We asked 100 men...
Name something you do to treat a woman like a queen.

COOK/B'FAST IN BED	26	CLEAN HOUSE	8
BUY FLOWERS	25	OPEN DOORS	7
RUB/FEET	11	"YOUR MAJESTY" & BOW	4
BUY JEWELRY	9

Name an exercise that can really develop the muscles you need for lovemaking.

SQUATS	24	HIP/PELVIC THRUSTS	6
SIT-UPS/CRUNCHES	21	MOUTH FLEX	2
KEGELS	20	RUNNING	2
PUSH-UPS	15

If a man claimed to be Steve Harvey, how might you know that he's an imposter?

NOT BLACK	23	HIS VOICE	10
BLONDE/NOT BALD	22	FAKE/NO STACHE	8
TINY LIPS/BAD TEETH	12	CLOTHES/CHEAP SUIT	5
NO HUMOR/CHARM	10

We asked 100 women...
Your new man tells you that his fantasy is to be treated like a baby. So tell me what you're going to do to him.

FEED & BURP	23	SPANK HIM	9
DUMP THE FREAK	21	GIVE PACIFIER	8
CUDDLE/HUG	13	DIAPER/POWDER	7
PUT IN BED/CRIB	9

Name a bug that in some countries they nosh and in America they squash.

COCKROACH	23	BEETLE	8
CRICKET	20	FLY	5
GRASSHOPPER	16	MOSQUITO	4
ANT	14

Name something a really small cowboy would have that's really small.

PONY	29	BELT/BUCKLE	6
1/2 GALLON HAT	27	DINGUS	6
BOOTS	10	SADDLE	5
LASSO	6

What do you do in the bathtub that until now you've kept a secret?

"RUMBLE IN MY JUNGLE"	26	SLEEP	9
PEE	22	SHAVE	2
SING	18	PLAY GAMES/APPS	2
FART/BOOTY JET SPA	10

Name something an angry clown's wife might do to his big red nose.

SQUEEZE/HONK IT	26	THROW IT AWAY	7
PUNCH/SLAP IT	18	CUT/IMPALE IT	6
PULL IT/YANK OFF	18	BURN/MELT IT	5
SMASH/CRUSH	9

Name someone grandpa hopes doesn't show up at his house unexpectedly right after he takes a Viagra.

KID/GRANDKID	61	NEIGHBOR	3
CLERGY/MISSIONARY	10	HIS PARENTS	3
HIS EX	5	SALESPERSON	2
GRANDMA/FROM A TRIP	4

Name something drastic a man might do to get out of marrying his girlfriend.

SKIP TOWN	26	"ILLNESS"/INJURY	6
CHEAT/WITH HER MOM	24	ENLIST	3
FAKE HIS DEATH	18	SAY, "I'M GAY"	3
DRINK CYANIDE	8

A woman might cancel a date ahead of time if she finds out about the guy's what?

WIFE/WOMEN	54	NASTY 'TUDE	4
DEBT/NO JOB	14	MAN BOOBS	3
OOZY STD	5	JANKY CAR	3
VICTIM COUNT	4

We asked 100 women...
You've met a man. He's perfect. Tell me why you won't marry him.

MARRIED	47	TOO PERFECT	4
I'M ANTI-MARRIAGE	15	TOO OLD/YOUNG	4
MAKES UNDER 6-MIL	8	HE'S GAY/I AM	3
LOSE MY ALIMONY	6

Name an object in your home that you'd hate to discover was spying on you.

TV/CABLE BOX	45	ALEXA/DIGITAL ASST.	5
COMPUTER	15	LIGHT/LAMP	4
MIRROR	9	TOILET	3
CAMERA	6

Fill in the blank: ______ daddy.

SUGAR DADDY	41	MACK DADDY	4
BIG DADDY	19	MY DADDY	4
BABY DADDY	12	PUFF DADDY	3
GODADDY.COM	4

You'd hate to be in the middle of what when you discover you have dog poop on your shoe?

WORK/INTERVIEW	41	DRIVING	6
CHURCH	13	HOUSE/NEW RUG	5
DATE/HOOKUP	10	DANCING/A KICK LINE	4
EATING/BUFFET LINE	8

It would be really embarrassing to fall asleep during what?

WHOOPEE	40	A FIRST DATE	6
CHURCH	14	DINNER	4
WORK/ZOOM MTG.	13	A FUNERAL	4
WEDDING/MINE	6

We asked 100 men...
Name a specific part of your body that's as soft as a woman's.

MY PEACH BOOTY	38	MY EARS	7
MY GUT	17	MY HAIRLESS ARMS	4
MY SILKY HANDS	10	MY FACE/CHEEKS	4
LUSCIOUS LIPS	7

If Marjorie Harvey told Steve to go slip into something more comfortable, name something he might slip into.

ROBE	34	SWEATS	7
NADA!	19	THE SHEETS	4
FOOTIE PAJAMAS	10	DENIM CUTOFFS	4
GOLD THONG	9

Name a complaint that women might have about a male stripper they hired for a bachelorette party.

CHUBSTER	28	CAN'T DANCE	4
TEENY WEENIE	27	TOO TOUCHY/CLOSE	4
REPULSIVE FACE	15	STINKS/LIKE CHEESE	3
CHEWBACCA HAIRY	6

Name someone you should never talk to if you've had too many drinks.

MY BOSS	26	HOT DATE/CRUSH	8
MY EX	18	SPOUSE	6
THE PO-PO	15	CLERGY/PASTOR PETE	5
MOM/DAD	9

Name something a wife might admit she loves more than she loves her husband.

$$$/A PENNY	24	CLOTHES	7
KIDS	19	HERSELF	4
PET/DOG NEXT DOOR	17	ANOTHER STUD	4
FOOD/LIVER	12

A juggler's obituary might read, "He died while trying to juggle" what?

KNIVES/SWORDS	33	BOMBS	7
CHAIN SAWS	15	TOO MANY WOMEN	6
FIRE/TORCHES	11	HIS HAIRY BERRIES	5
BOWL'G BALLS/BALLS	9

Name someone you might worry will actually dance on your grave someday.

MY EX	32	SATAN	6
MY SPOUSE/MATE	19	MY IN-LAWS	6
MY SIBLING	11	MY FRIENDS	4
MY KID	8

You sent an anonymous text to your boss. It might say "You have the worst" what?

BREATH/B.O.	30	EMPLOYEES	3
'TUDE/TEMPER	30	MANNERS	3
MANAGEMENT SKILLS	13	CLOTHES. EVER.	3
INTEGRITY/WORK ETHIC	4

We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: Be honest -- most women think you are ______.

NICE/CHARMING	26	FUNNY/SILLY	8
SMOKIN' HOT	18	BORING/LAME	6
EINSTEIN-SMART	14	DUMBER THAN DIRT	3
CUTE ENOUGH	11

Name something grandpa gets into that he hopes he can get out of.

TUB/BATHROOM	21	BED	11
TROUBLE	15	PANTS/OVERALLS	8
RECLINER	12	NURSING HOME	7
CAR	12

A man might actually like his mother-in-law if she had what?

MONEY	40	NO VOICE	5
HUMOR/CHARM	15	OWN HOME/IN SIBERIA	4
LOOKS/FINE BOOTY	10	TASTY FOOD	4
A HEART	7

Name something a teenage girl hopes her dad doesn't wear when she invites friends over.

UNDIES/LINGERIE	33	ROBE/PJ'S	7
SHORT SHORTS	19	HER PROM DRESS	4
SPEEDO	10	B-DAY SUIT	3
TANK TOP	9

Name something a fisherman has that makes women think he's the catch of the day.

BOAT/FLEET	30	RUGGED FACE/BEARD	8
FRESH CATCH	18	MONEY	5
STRONG BOD	11	LURE/JUICY WORM	4
BIG/LONG POLE	9

We asked 100 women...
Your guy is no Superman. But what does he do faster than a speeding bullet?

FALL ASLEEP/SNORE	26	CHUG BOOZE	5
BOINK	21	DRIVE	5
EAT	19	TALK/LIE	4
DISAPPEAR	5

You're in the middle of a kiss. Your lover pushes you away. What happened?

WHIFF OF BAD BREATH	24	THREW UP	4
MASSIVE BURP	23	PHONE/HIS WIFE	3
BITE/BLOODY	15	CHEWING GUM	3
FART ATTACK	13

Name a place you'd hate to be on Christmas Day.

JAIL W/ BUBBA	23	CHURCH	5
WORK/ON ST. CORNER	19	STORE/MALL	5
AIRPORT/PLANE	18	THE IN-LAWS'	4
HOSPITAL	11

Name an amusement park ride that might be fun to make love on while riding it.

FERRIS WHEEL	36	LOG FLUME	4
ROLLER COASTER	22	TUNNEL OF LOVE	4
CAROUSEL	10	SWING/VIKING SHIP	4
SMALL WORLD	4

We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: I love my wife even though I hate her ______.

MOTHER/FAMILY	28	SNORING	7
TEMPER/'TUDE	16	BODY/MAN FEET	5
SPENDING	12	COOKING	4
NAGGING	12

Name someone you had better be nice to because they know things about you.

MY BESTIE	28	SANTA	9
MY SIBLING	14	MY BOSS	5
MY BAE	13	DOC/AT STD CLINIC	4
MY PARENTS	11

In the big barnyard of life, what farm animal do you think you've become?

COW/BULL	23	SHEEP/LAMB	10
HORSE	15	DONKEY/MULE	6
PIG	13	SHEEPDOG	6
CHICKEN/ROOSTER	11

Name something specific a driving instructor might say to his student and to his mate in bed.

SLOW DOWN!	44	MOVE OVER!	3
STOP/BRAKE!	23	CAREFUL/WATCH OUT!	3
GO FASTER!	4	PARK IT RIGHT THERE!	2
GOOD JOB!	4

Name an animal starting with S that a wife might say her husband reminds her of in bed.

SNAKE/SERPENT	39	SKUNK	4
SLOTH	18	SQUIRREL	3
STALLION	9	SHEEP	3
SHARK	7

Fill in the blank: In hell, you only get to ______ once a year.

BATHE	30	MAKE FIERY WHOOPEE	4
DRINK/ICE WATER	19	LAUGH/SMILE	4
SLEEP/REST	14	WHIZ/DUMP	3
EAT	9

Name an animal a man actually likes women to compare him to.

STALLION/HORSE	24	COUGAR/PANTHER	6
TIGER	20	FOX/SILVER FOX	5
LION	14	CAT	5
DOG	9

Name something about you that you worry your friends are making fun of.

BODY/WEIGHT	37	DUMBO EARS	3
HAIR/BALD	18	JOB/AS HO	3
FACE/SNAGGLETEETH	11	THE WAY I TALK	2
CLOTHES/CROCS	8

Name something you'd be surprised that your boss wants to borrow from you.

$217,000	31	COMPUTER	4
MY CADDY DEVILLE	21	PHONE	4
MY SWEETIE	12	IDEAS/NOTES	3
CLOTHES/PANTIES	7

We asked 100 women...
You love your dog. And sometimes you wish your husband would do what just like your dog?

LISTEN/OBEY	27	HAPPY TO SEE ME	7
CUDDLE & LICK ME	21	SLEEP 16 HOURS	5
WALK/HEEL	10	PROTECT ME	4
BE LOYAL	8

We asked 100 men...
Name something you would not do on a first date.

PROPOSE/TIE KNOT	26	GO STEADY	4
"SUGAR THE COOKIE"	21	BRAG	4
KISS	14	FART/MORE THAN ONCE	4
GET DRUNK	9

Name somewhere Santa hides his stash of marijuana.

HIS SLEIGH	26	KIDS' CHIMNEYS	6
HIS HAT	17	STOCKING	5
HIS BEARD	14	REINDEER STABLE	5
HIS TOY SACK	9

Name a baked good that a baker might call a woman when he's flirting with her.

CUPCAKE/CAKE	32	MUFFIN	5
BUNS/HONEY BUN	16	ROLL/SWEET ROLL	5
COOKIE	14	CREAM PUFF	3
PIE/SUGAR PIE	6

Name a sport whose players have dad bods.

BOWLING	30	BASEBALL	5
GOLF	15	CURLING	3
FOOTBALL	14	DARTS	3
WRESTLING/SUMO	11

Name someone you'd be surprised to hear was Queen Elizabeth's favorite rapper.

SNOOP DOGG	26	JAY-Z	8
EMINEM	16	ICE-T	6
KANYE WEST	12	50 CENT	5
TUPAC	8

You're in bed. You hear sounds coming from your closet. What do you do?

CHECK IT OUT	22	MAKE WIFE/MATE CHECK	8
RUN!	18	IGNORE/SLEEP	7
GET GUN/WEAPON	11	SCREAM	5
HIDE/UNDER COVERS	10

We asked 100 women...
If you knew Steve Harvey was at your door, you'd answer it wearing what?

NADA/A SMILE	18	ROBE/JAMMIES	9
VINYL LINGERIE	17	SWEATS	4
SKINNY JEANS	17	HAT/FLORAL BONNET	4
DRESS/BALL GOWN	12

Name something a man's mother-in-law has that makes him suspect she's a witch.

BROOM	40	CAULDRON	6
BIG WARTY NOSE	14	POINTY HAT/CLOTHES	3
BOOK/OF SPELLS	7	BLACK CAT	3
VOODOO DOLL	7

Name something you shouldn't use to get the wax out of your ears.

Q-TIP	29	FINGER/DATE'S FINGER	8
KNIFE/SILVERWARE	12	DRILL/TOOL	8
PEN/PENCIL	10	STICK/CHOPSTICK	4
BOBBY PIN	9

If you were an octopus, name something you could do to eight people all at once.

SLAP 'EM	26	FONDLE 'EM	6
HUG 'EM	21	SHAKE HANDS	4
TICKLE 'EM	12	RUB/SCRATCH	3
CHOKE 'EM	8

Fill in the blank: I just saw a woman steal two live ______s from the pet store and hide them in her bra.

HAMSTERS/GERBILS	18	BIRDS	9
PUPPIES	15	LIZARDS	7
SNAKES	12	KITTENS	7
MICE/RATS	12

Name something that makes everything taste better.

SALT	28	CHOCOLATE	7
BUTTER	13	KETCHUP	6
SUGAR	9	CHEESE/LIMBURGER	5
BACON	8

Name an animal some people compare lawyers to.

SHARK	26	RAT	5
SNAKE	23	WEASEL	4
JACKASS/MULE	7	WOLF	4
PIG	7

Name a party game that they love to play at the nudist colony.

TWISTER	30	PIN THE TAIL...	6
SPIN THE BOTTLE	12	TAG	5
CHARADES	8	VOLLEYBALL	4
POKER	7

Name something you have two of but one is better than the other.

CARS	24	HANDS	7
EYES	13	BOOBS	6
KIDS/TWINS	11	MATES/LOVERS	3
SHOES/CLOTHES	7

Name a dead music legend that you'd like to see perform again as a hologram.

ELVIS	23	PRINCE	7
MICHAEL JACKSON	16	TUPAC	3
JIMI HENDRIX	10	WHITNEY	3
FREDDIE MERCURY	9

Name someone in your life you are most afraid of.

MOMMY/DADDY DEAREST	29	SATAN	5
PSYCHO MATE	13	DERANGED SIBLING	4
I FEAR NO ONE	9	MY INNER SELF	4
UNHINGED BOSS	6

In your mind, you run like a deer. In reality, you run like what animal?

TURTLE	22	CAT	5
SLOTH	19	SNAIL	5
DUCK/BIRD	8	COW/BULL	5
DOG	5

This is a morbid thought, but name something you might be holding in your hand on the day you die.

SOMEONE'S HAND	20	FOOD/FORK	7
CELL PHONE	10	BEER	5
BIBLE	8	MY CHEST	5
REMOTE	8

Name something you have more of than your parents do.

MONEY	15	CLOTHES/SHOES	6
YEARS LEFT/YOUTH	15	PATIENCE	5
KIDS	8	SEX	5
BILLS/DEBT	8

If Steve Harvey were a dog, what kind of dog would he be?

CHOCOLATE LAB	18	BASSET HOUND	5
BULLDOG	12	BLOODHOUND	5
BOXER	7	ST. BERNARD	5
ROTTWEILER	5

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