"Family Feud" surveys | Season 25

Name something you do right before you step onto the bathroom scale.

100

STRIP DOWN	46	CLOSE EYES	4
PEE/BOMB THE BOWL	27	EMPTY POCKETS	3
PRAY	11	SUCK IN GUT/POSTURE	2
DEEP BREATH/SIGH	7

We asked 100 women...
Tell me the worst person to accidentally find your vibrator.

100

MOM & DAD	45	SPOUSE/MATE	4
KID/GRANDKID	35	BROTHER	3
IN-LAWS	6	GRANDPARENTS	2
CLERGY	5

Name a part of your body you'd be shocked your doctor got his finger stuck in.

100

EAR	41	MOUTH	3
BUTT/RUSTY BAGEL	35	CAVERNOUS NAVEL	3
SNOUT/NOSE	12	JUNGLY ARMPIT	2
VA-JAY/COOCHELLA	4

If a man dared, he might ask his wife to change what specific thing about her appearance?

100

HAIR	36	CLOWN MAKEUP	5
WEIGHT	31	PANCAKE BOOTY	3
TINY COCONUTS	18	LUMPY NOSE	2
GARB/GRANNY PANTIES	5

We asked 100 single men...
Name something you'd be surprised a date pulled out of her bra.

STUFFING/SOCKS	50	WEAPON	5
$$$/DOLLAR BILLS	23	FOOD/WARM CHEESE	4
RUBBERS	9	FERRET/ANIMAL	2
LIPSTICK	6

Name something about Mr. Peanut that Mrs. Peanut says is sexy.

HIS BOD/NUTS	46	"SALTY"/TASTE	5
EROTIC MONOCLE	21	HOT FACE/LIPS	5
THAT DISHY HAT	13	HIS GOLDEN TAN	2
STYLIN' CANE	7

Name something a caveman might throw at a dinosaur that's chasing him.

ROCK	46	SPEAR	8
BONE	16	POOP	3
CLUB/STICK	16	RAW MEAT	2
CAVE BUD/THE MRS.	8

Fill in the blank: Sure, it's hell, but at least every party you go to there has ______.

BOOZE/FIREBALL	39	DRUGS, BRO!	2
BONFIRE	20	POOL/HOT TUB	2
FOOD/TABASCO	18	MUSIC/OZZY	2
PEOPLE/MY GRANNY	16

We asked 100 men...
If you were wearing women's clothes, you'd have the hardest time putting on what?

BRA	38	GIRDLE/CORSET	4
HIGH HEELS	19	DRESS	4
PANTIES/XXS THONG	17	SKINNY JEANS	4
NYLONS/HOSE	13

We asked 100 men...
Other than food, what do you like to put in your mouth?

BEER/BEVERAGE	31	TOOTHBRUSH	10
CIG/CIGAR	15	GUM	10
MATE	15	MY FINGERS	6
TOOTHPICK	12

Name something Snow White and Vanna White have in common.

LAST NAME	60	MEN LOVE THEM	3
TOTAL HOTTIES	17	STUNNING DRESSES	3
THEY'RE WHITE	7	ON TV/FILM	2
BOTH ARE WOMEN	6

Name something you just love to put on your body.

LOTION/OIL	59	SOAP	4
CLOTHES/SILK	16	WATER	2
COLOGNE	11	TATTOOS	2
MY POOKIE/A BABE	4

A vampire actor demands to have what in his dressing room?

BLOOD/VICTIMS	51	DARKNESS	6
COFFIN	22	DRINKS/RED WINE	3
CLOTHES/CAPE	8	FOOD/BLOOD ORANGE	2
EXTRA FANGS	6

We asked 100 married people...
Name something that has doubled in size since you were married.

ME/MY MATE	49	OUR HOUSE	4
EXPENSES/DEBT	18	MY BED	4
BANK ACCT.	14	FAMILY MEMBERS	4
PROBLEMS	5

Steve Harvey said, "My Aunt Agnes is so ungrateful, I gave her my Emmy Award and she said, 'I wish it was'" what?

CASH	46	BIGGER	6
AN OSCAR/BETTER AWARD	18	MINE	3
WORTH MORE	16	KEYS TO A HOUSE	2
FOOD/CANDY	7

When a girl meets her boyfriend's parents, what would she be wearing that makes dad smile and mom frown?

MINISKIRT/DRESS	45	SHORT SHORTS	4
SEXY/LOW-CUT TOP	33	SPORTS TEAM LOGO	3
VISIBLE LINGERIE	5	BIKINI	3
TIGHT PANTS	5

We asked 100 married men...
Name something you've tried to get your wife to wear in the bedroom.

LINGERIE/EDIBLE	44	WIG/COSTUME	6
HIGH HEELS	18	VIBRATOR	3
NOTHING!	13	LEATHER	2
HANDCUFFS	12

Name one thing a mortician might do if a body is too big for the coffin.

SLICE & DICE 'EM	39	CREMATE 'EM	5
NEW COFFIN	23	REMOVE LINING	2
CRAM/FOLD LEGS	20	TURN ON THEIR SIDE	2
BREAK BONES	7

You might start having second thoughts about going on a cruise if they told you to bring your own what?

LIFE PRESERVER	38	BARF BAG	6
FOOD	24	BEDDING	5
TOILET PAPER	11	BOOZE	3
LIFEBOAT/OAR	11

We asked 100 married women...
You find out your husband cheated on Valentine's Day. What do you do with the gift you bought him?

RETURN IT	33	BURN/DESTROY IT	7
THROW IT AWAY	29	SELL IT	4
HIT HIM WITH IT	15	GIVE TO MY LOVER	2
KEEP FOR ME	8

We asked 100 women...
You'd be hopping mad if your man posted a photo online of you wearing what?

LINGERIE	33	SWEATS	5
NADA	26	HANDCUFFS	2
FRUMPY PJ'S/ROBE	23	A TOWEL	2
BIKINI	7

Name something you'd have to get used to if you were a bee.

FLYING	31	1000 ROOMIES/IN HIVE	12
DYING/AFTER STING	16	BUZZING	10
POLLINATING	15	OUTDOORS	2
MAKIN' HONEY	12

We asked 100 men...
Name something you know about British people.

YUMMY ACCENT!	28	BAD TEETH	9
AFTERNOON TEA	22	FUNNY!	3
FISH & CHIPS/FOOD	22	SPEAK ENGLISH	2
VERY POLITE	12

Name something that might be checkered.

YOUR PAST	23	GAME BOARD	10
SHIRT/CLOTHES	22	FLOOR	3
TABLECLOTH	20	BLANKET	2
FLAG	18

Name something specific a man might do if his female blind date had a mustache like Steve Harvey's.

BOLT!	74	CARESS IT	2
LAUGH	10	GET TURNED ON	2
SCREAM/CRY	4	SHARE TIPS/STACHE OIL	2
SHAVE/GIVE NAIR	3

At the mermaid beauty pageant, contestants are judged on their what?

TAILS/SCALES/FINS	72	FACE/LIPS	4
SHELL BIKINI TOP	6	TALENT/TAIL TRICKS	3
HAIR/STYLE	5	PERSONALITY	2
BOOBIES	5

Name a place a single woman goes that a mom with kids wishes she could go.

BAR/NIGHTCLUB	69	BATHROOM ALONE	4
VACAY/CRUISE	10	THEATER/MOVIES	3
STRIP JOINT	4	NICE RESTAURANT	3
SPA	4

Name something you'd buy for protection if Count Dracula moved in next door.

GARLIC	62	GUN	3
CROSS	16	HOLY WATER	3
WOODEN STAKE	7	NECK GUARD	2
FLOODLIGHTS	4

Name a place you hope the baby sitting near you doesn't have a loaded diaper.

PLANE	51	DR./HOSPITAL	3
EATERY/MEAL	17	THEATER	3
CHURCH	14	CAR	2
BUS/TRAIN	7

Name a part of your body that makes a lot of noise.

MOUTH	47	NOSE	4
BEAN BLASTER	26	ARMPITS	2
KNEES	9	STOMPING FEET	2
STOMACH	7

Name something on a man's face a woman might avoid when kissing it.

BEARD/STACHE	47	MOLE	5
BIG SCHNOZ	21	FOOD FROM YESTERDAY	4
EXPLOSIVE ZIT	11	WART	4
SORE/HERPES	5

Using one specific word, give me a sound a bird makes.

CHIRP	46	PEEP	5
TWEET	23	BWAK	3
CAW	13	CHEEP	2
COO	5

Tell me something your mother is happy she doesn't have to do for you anymore.

LAUNDRY	44	BATHE ME	4
DIAPER/WIPE ME	20	BUY MY CLOTHES	3
COOK	17	COMB MY HAIR	2
CLEAN/MY ROOM	7

Name something about a female horse that makes a male horse hot to trot.

GLOSSY COAT/MANE	43	THOSE EYES	4
SWISHIN' TAIL	16	JUMP/GAIT	4
SCENT/IN HEAT	15	HER NEIGH	3
HOT BOD/BOOTY	12

Name something that turns a kiss into a great kiss.

TECHNIQUE/TONGUE	39	FRESH BREATH	3
LOVE/PASSION	39	HOT GUY/GAL	3
SOFT LIPS	6	TIME/20 MIN.	2
EMBRACE	5

Name something you should probably warn a date about before bringing them home.

PET/16 CATS	39	MARRIED/KIDS	6
CRAZY PARENTS	23	NOSY NEIGHBORS	4
THE MESS	13	MY BAD COOKING	2
ROOMMATE	10

Name something on a park playground that might be fun to make love on.

SWING	35	MONKEY BARS	5
SLIPPERY SLIDE	24	SANDPIT	2
MERRY-GO-ROUND	15	ANIMAL SPRING RIDER	2
TEETER-TOTTER	14

Fill in the blank: My ______ died and I need a new one.

PHONE	34	SPOUSE	6
CAR/BATTERY	29	TV/REMOTE	2
FISH/PET	18	BLENDER	2
COMPUTER	6

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: I'd love to be the ______est woman on Earth.

HOTTEST	33	NICEST	6
RICHEST	29	FITTEST/THINNEST	4
SMARTEST	12	LUCKIEST	2
HAPPIEST	11

We asked 100 married men...
Name something you might find in bed that could make you think your wife was sleeping with an Elvis impersonator.

WIG/SIDEBURNS	33	BLUE SUEDE SHOES	9
SEQUINS/BLING	27	POMADE STAINS	5
JUMPSUIT/OUTFIT	11	PB & BANANA	2
GUITAR/PICK	10

Fill in the blank: Adam said to Eve, "Hey, did you ______ my fig leaf?"

WASH/IRON/SHRINK	31	PEEK UNDER/TAKE OFF	6
TAKE/HIDE	31	WEAR	4
EAT	14	RIP	3
SEE/FIND	8

Fill in the blank: I'd hate for an elephant to ______ me.

SIT ON	31	SPRAY	9
TRAMPLE/STEP ON	28	KICK	3
ATTACK	15	MAKE LOVE TO	2
PEE/POOP ON	9

A man would suspect his wife cheated if their son was the spitting image of who?

MAILMAN	31	BOSS/COWORKER	10
CELEB/STEVE HARVEY	20	MILKMAN	8
NEIGHBOR	13	FITNESS TRAINER	2
BEST BUD	13

We asked 100 single women...
Tell me a reason you might nickname your date "Steve Harvey."

HE'S FUNNY	31	SMILE/WHITE TEETH	11
BALD	19	HIGH INTELLECT	9
LIP TICKLIN' STACHE	14	SNAZZY SUITS	2
RICH	11

We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: Even if they're a doctor, you'd never let your ______ perform your vasectomy.

PAL/DRINKING BUD	30	DENTIST	5
SIBLING	23	IN-LAW	2
PARENT	20	EX	2
SPOUSE	15

If a man gets kicked in his babymaker, what might he have a hard time doing for a while?

MAKING LOVE	25	BREATHING	9
WALK/RUNNING	22	TALKING	6
STANDING UP	17	SITTING/ON BIKE	4
PEEING	14

Name a reason you might marry someone even if you're not physically attracted to them.

MONEY HONEY!	71	THEY'RE FAMOUS	2
FUN PERSONALITY	9	THEY'RE BRAINY	2
LOVE	5	DYING/NEED ME	2
THEY'RE KIND	5

We asked 100 women...
Name a part of your man that eliminates him from being the sexiest man alive.

FAT GUT	62	HAIRY BACK	3
FACE/6 CHINS	17	CHICKEN LEGS	2
CHEST/MOOBS	6	FLAT SMELLY BUTT	2
VILE FEET	4

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: If your man isn't a good kisser, he'd better be good at ______.

MAKIN' ME SQUEAL!	52	COOKING	4
CUDDLES/HUGS	13	GIVING MASSAGES	3
CONVERSATION	11	CLEANING/CHORES	3
MAKIN' BANK	10

We asked 100 women...
Good or bad, tell me an L word you've called your man.

LOVE/LOVER	49	LUCKY	4
LAZY	15	LOWLIFE	3
LOSER	15	LOUSE	2
LIBERAL	8

If you were Pinocchio, name a part of your body you'd pay a carpenter to make smaller.

SNOTLOCKER	46	HIPS	3
FAT GUT/WAIST	29	Z-CUP BOOBS	3
BUTT/BEAN BLASTER	9	EARS	2
FEET	4

Name an outdoor activity that a nudist would tell you is more enjoyable to do in the nude.

SWIMMING	46	YARD WORK	5
SUNBATHING	20	TENNIS	3
RUN/HIKING	12	BBQ/PICNIC	2
VOLLEYBALL	8

What might you put on your porch to keep kids away on Halloween?

SCARY DECORATIONS	43	TRASH	3
SIGN/"GO AWAY"	20	CAUTION TAPE	2
DOG/CRITTERS	19	SMEARED POOP	2
CELERY/BAD TREATS	7

Name something a parrot might say that would make you think his last owner was a police officer.

FREEZE/STOP!	42	...REMAIN SILENT	4
HANDS UP	32	BOOK 'EM!	3
UNDER ARREST	7	ON GROUND/WALL	3
LICENSE & REG.	5

We asked 100 men...
Name a way you like your weather and your women.

HOT!	36	BRIGHT	7
WARM	25	STEAMY	4
BEAUTIFUL	11	COLD/FRIGID	3
DAMP	10

We asked 100 married men...
Give me an H word that describes your wife.

HOT	36	HEAVY	6
HAPPY	20	HOSTILE	4
HELPFUL	15	HORNY	3
HARDWORKING	12

We asked 100 divorced women...
Which animal enclosure at the zoo would you like to put your ex-husband in?

GORILLA/MONKEY	35	CHEETAH	8
LION	16	BEAR	6
TIGER	14	WOLF	4
SNAKE	13

You're in a public bathroom and you discover too late that there's no toilet paper. What do you do?

ASK/YELL	33	USE SEAT COVER	4
TOWEL/KLEENEX	25	CRY/PANIC	3
SHAKE 'N DRY	24	WADDLE TO NEXT STALL	3
USE UNDIES/CLOTHES	4

Name something a man might do if he got an invitation to his ex-wife's wedding.

NO THANKS!	31	REJOICE/NO ALIMONY!	8
GO, WITH A HOTTIE	21	GET DRUNK	3
LAUGH	16	CRY	2
RIP UP/BURN IT	15

We asked 100 married men...
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, you made love where?

BEACH	30	PARK	8
CAR	28	LOCKER ROOM	7
WORK	10	HOME/BED	4
SHOWER	9

We asked 100 men...
Your best buddy confesses he had a sexy dream about your mate. What do you do?

MAD/END FRIENDSHIP	30	ASK DETAILS	10
LAUGH/JOKE	17	IGNORE IT	6
DECK HIM	17	TURNED ON/WIFE SWAP	3
TELL BUD'S WIFE	13

A mother knows it's time to stop breastfeeding when her child does what?

BITES	63	STARTS SCHOOL	5
USES CUP	8	UNBUTTONS HER TOP	3
TALKS	7	WALKS	3
STOPS/PULLS AWAY	6

Name something grandma shakes on the dance floor when her song comes on.

BUNS/PROSTHETIC HIP	61	GLOW STICKS	3
ARMS/JAZZ HANDS	10	LEGS/FEET	3
CANE	9	FLOOR-LENGTH BOOBS	2
HEAD/HAIR	7

Susan divorced her husband after seeing him French-kissing who in their wedding video?

BRIDESMAID/BFF	50	HIS EX	3
HER SISTER	28	HIS MOM/STEPMOM	2
BEST MAN	5	THE DOG	2
HER MOM	5

She's living with seven dwarfs, so name something Snow White probably buys in bulk.

T.P./TISSUES	50	BEDDING	4
MILK/FOOD	17	STEP STOOLS	3
CLOTHES/DWARF HATS	13	SOAP/SHAMPOO	3
CONDOMS	5

Name something people keep on their desk that can double as a murder weapon.

LETTER OPENER	47	PEN/PENCIL	6
PAPERWEIGHT	18	LAMP	2
SCISSORS	11	KNIFE	2
STAPLER	9

Name something Mickey Mouse has that Minnie Mouse should get half of if they break up.

MONEY/STOCK	42	EARS	4
DISNEY/WORLD	21	CUSTODY OF PLUTO	2
CHEESE	14	MOUSE CAR	2
MOUSE HOUSE	10

We asked 100 married women...
What might you do if your husband bought an inflatable love doll?

POP/DESTROY	37	KICK OUTTA BED	8
LAUGH	16	SCREAM/MAD	4
BYE!/WISH 'EM WELL	16	ASK WHY	2
TOSS IT	12

Name something a caveman did in his cave when it was raining outside.

CAVE ART	29	FUN W/ CAVE BABE	5
SLEEP	23	PEE/DOODY	3
COZY FIRE	23	SING CAVE-POP	2
COOK/EAT	10

We asked 100 single women...
Fill in the blank: I'm looking for a man who doesn't ______ in bed.

SUCK/IGNORE ME	27	PEE	6
SNORE	22	HOG THE COVERS	6
FART/DUTCH OVEN	21	JUDGE ME	5
EAT	8

Now that Barbie is a senior citizen, what accessory might she come with?

PINK WALKER/CANE	76	LIFE ALERT	2
BEDAZZLED DIAPERS	6	AARP CARD	2
WHEELCHAIR	4	BIFOCALS	2
DENTURES	2

Name a food that pairs well with love.

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	56	LOBSTER	3
STRAWBERRIES	21	PASTA/SPAGHETTI	2
STEAK	5	WHIPPED CREAM	2
OYSTERS	5

Fill in the blank: I can't ______ straight.

THINK	55	TALK	2
SEE	23	PEE	2
SHOOT	5	STAND	2
WALK	5

Fill in the blank: A bull might look at a cow and think, "She has the sexiest ______."

TEATS!/UDDER	49	MOO	5
TWITCHIN' TAIL	12	HORNS	5
RUMP	11	SPOTS	3
EYES/FACE	9

A married woman might say, "Love at first sight does exist. I fell in love with my husband when I saw his" what?

SMILE/FACE	48	PERSONALITY/HUMOR	3
BANK ACCOUNT	22	MEGA MANSION	2
BODY/6-PACK	12	HEART/KINDNESS	2
CAR/VW VAN	5

If a guy had a single hair left on his bald head, name something he might do to it.

PLUCK/SHAVE OFF	48	SLICK IT/GEL	6
COMB IT OVER	16	DYE IT	4
CHARLIE BROWN CURL	11	GLUE ON/PROTECT IT	2
TRIM IT	7

The Kardashians could sell one of their many what if they went broke?

HOUSES	42	FAMILY MEMBERS	5
CARS	22	BUSINESSES	5
DESIGNER OUTFITS	12	HAIR WEAVES	3
JEWELS	5

We asked 100 women...
What might you do if you ran your fingers through a date's hair and realized it was a toupee?

LAUGH/SMILE	40	YANK IT OFF	5
SCREAM/PANIC	22	IGNORE	4
LEAVE	13	CRINGE	4
PULL HAND AWAY	6

A boss without boundaries calls you when you're doing what?

SLEEPING	38	BATHING	6
ON VACAY	24	SEXY TIME	5
PEE/POO	11	AT A FUNERAL	3
EATING	7

Name something you'd put in a fanny pack that a nudist might pack in his fanny.

SUNSCREEN/LOTION	31	TISSUE	6
CASH/AMEX	29	SNACKS	4
CHAPSTICK/GLOSS	12	KEYS	3
CELL PHONE	9

Name something hillbillies might be holding in their engagement photos.

MOONSHINE	28	PIG/CRITTER	10
SHOTGUN. YEEHAW!	26	CORN/FOOD	3
PITCHFORK/SHOVEL	13	BABY/5 KIDS	2
FIANCE/COUSIN	12

Name something you might wake up to that can make you think you've been transported to Oz.

YELLOW BRICK ROAD	27	FLYING MONKEYS	8
DOROTHY & PALS	19	WITCH/GREEN CHICK	6
MUNCHKINS	17	EVERYONE SINGING	3
TORNADO	14

Name something of your roommate's that stinks up the house.

SOCKS/CLOTHES	60	CIGS	4
FOOD/TUNA	9	PETS	4
THEIR BUTT/BATHROOM	8	DANK WEED	3
B.O./FEET	5

When you get to heaven, what do you want to see when you pass through the Pearly Gates?

FAMILY	48	CELEB/BETTY WHITE	2
PETS	25	ANGELS	2
GOD/JESUS	10	GOLD/MONEY, HONEY!	2
FRIENDS	4

Because it's hell, whenever you go on a blind date there, your blind date always turns out to be who?

MY CRAZY EX	43	A SERIAL KILLER	4
SATAN	23	MY PARENT	4
POLITICIAN	11	MY SPOUSE/MATE	4
MY BOSS	4

Name a reason a man might want his girlfriend to bring her mother along on a date.

WANTS TO PROPOSE	42	SEE HOW BOO WILL AGE	3
SHE'LL PAY	34	IMPRESS MOM	3
MOM'S HOT/3-WAY	4	MOTHER'S DAY	3
TO MEET/BOND	4

You'd do anything for your best friend. But you wouldn't do what?

CRIME/TIME	41	DIE/TAKE BULLET	6
SLEEP WITH/THEIR SPOUSE	16	WIPE THEIR BUTT	4
LIE FOR 'EM	15	KISS 'EM	2
LOAN 'EM MONEY	9

Name a part of you a snake would bite that you couldn't suck out the venom yourself.

DUMP TRUMPET	41	PRIVATES	7
BACK	15	LEG/CALF	5
ELBOW	12	NECK	5
FOOT/TOE	8

We asked 100 married women...
Name one thing an ex-boyfriend had that you wish your husband had.

MONEY/A JOB	39	GOOD HEALTH	9
BEDROOM SKILLS	12	HOT BOD/ABS	7
NICE FAMILY	11	A PERSONALITY	6
RHYTHM TO DANCE	9

We asked 100 dads...
Fill in the blank: I wouldn't trade my family for the world, but I might trade them for ______.

$$$/LOTTO WIN	37	NICE VACAY	4
NEW CAR	27	A DAY OF GOLF	2
PEACE & QUIET	11	A BEER	2
ISLAND/REAL ESTATE	10

We asked 100 married men...
Fill in the blank: Between us, I'm getting really tired of my wife's ______.

NAGGING/VOICE	32	FAMILY	5
COOKING	17	SNORING	5
ATTITUDE	17	NO SEX POLICY	4
SPENDING	13

Name a place that always has a long bathroom line.

SPORTS VENUE	28	THEME PARK/FAIR	6
CONCERT	27	RESTAURANT	5
BAR/CLUB	15	EVERY LADIES' ROOM	4
MOVIE	8

We asked 100 men...
I consider myself one of the top five what in the country?

BOOZERS	26	DADS	8
LOVERS/STUDS	23	TALKERS	7
SPORTSMEN	14	BRAINIACS	5
AT MY JOB	10

We asked 100 women...
You know what really turns me on? When a man buys me a what?

ROSE	24	CAR	5
RING/JEWELRY	23	HOUSE	4
TASTY TREAT/DRINK	23	MAID	3
SEXY OUTFIT	11

Tell me something that Steve Harvey's Aunt Agnes probably keeps in her bra.

$$$/WALLET	67	PHONE	3
TISSUE/HANKY	10	KEYS	2
FOOD/PEANUTS	4	HER EPIC BOOBAGE	2
GUN/WEAPON	4

Name something grandpa says goes too darn fast.

TIME/LIFE	63	PLANES	2
CARS	16	CLOSED-CAPTIONING	2
SEX/DRIVE	5	GRANDMA	2
MONEY	2

We asked 100 women...
Name something a Barbie doll has that you realized years ago you'll never have.

HOT BOD/6" WAIST	59	GLAM CAR	5
DREAMHOUSE	9	GORGEOUS FACE	4
SILKY BLOND HAIR	7	MAN LIKE KEN	3
SICK THREADS	5

Name something a man might do if he saw his wife digging a six-foot-deep hole in the yard.

RUN/LEAVE U.S.	54	SAY SORRY/BUY GIFT	5
OFFER TO HELP	10	PUT HER IN IT	5
ASK WHY	9	CANCEL LIFE INSUR.	3
CALL COPS	6

Tell me something that once you've done it, you never forget how.

RIDE A BIKE	53	WALK	4
DO THE NASTY	22	KISS/DART MY TONGUE	2
DRIVE/STICK SHIFT	5	TYPE	2
EAT/FEED SELF	4

Fill in the blank: They nicknamed Bob "the Grinch" because his ______ is two sizes too small.

HEART	49	WALLET	4
SHIRT/CLOTHES	23	HAND/FINGER	3
WEENIE	6	HEAD	3
LEFT FOOT	4

Fill in the blank: If you could choose how you die, you'd die ______ing.

SLEEPING	49	PIGGING OUT	3
LAUGHING	17	SINGING	2
BOINKING	16	CLIMBING MTN.	2
BOOZING	3

What might a wife ask a deliveryperson to deliver to her cheating spouse?

DIVORCE PAPERS	49	PIC/OF HIM CHEAT'G	4
HIS STUFF	14	DEAD ROSES	3
POISONED FOOD	12	RING	3
BOX O' POO	7

Fill in the blank: If there were a Ten Commandments of marriage, one would be "Thou shall not ______."

"DO" OTHERS/FLIRT	44	BE A SLOB	4
NAG/ARGUE	20	IGNORE SPOUSE	3
LIE	15	WASTE $	2
LEAVE SEAT UP	4

Name something a shy guy might take to a nude beach to hold in front of himself.

TOWEL	41	BEACH BALL	4
BOOK/MAG	30	LEAF	3
HAT	6	CUP/BOTTLE	3
UMBRELLA	5

We asked 100 women...
Tarzan is sexy, but why would you never want to marry him?

REEKS/HYGIENE	40	NO JOB/BROKE	5
LIVES IN JUNGLE	27	LONG HAIR	3
POOR SPEECH/YELLS	9	HALF-NUDE/LOINCLOTH	3
SWINGS IN TREES	5

Women love the male stripper Cowboy Carl because he lets them touch his what?

BOD/MAN CAN	40	BOOTS/SPURS	5
HAT	21	HORSE	4
LASSO	10	CHAPS	4
GUN/HOLSTER	8

Name a reason you might suspect that your new home was once a funeral home.

FUNKY SMELL	38	EMBALMING FLUID	4
GHOST/NOISES	24	MORGUE/FRIDGE	3
FOUND CASKET	13	ODD FLOORPLAN	3
BIG OVEN/ASHES	7

We asked 100 married women...
I can count on one hand how many times my husband's given me what?

FLOWERS	32	HALF-DECENT SEX	5
COMPLIMENTS	27	GRIEF...HE'S THE BEST!	3
JEWELRY	16	HELP AROUND HOUSE	3
BACK/FOOT RUB	6

We asked 100 married women...
Name a vegetable you might compare your man's nose to.

CARROT	31	CELERY	8
SQUASH/ZUCCHINI	18	BROCCOLI	5
CUCUMBER	14	MUSHROOM	5
EGGPLANT	11

We asked 100 married men...
What might you do if a sexy single woman pinched your bottom?

SMILE/LAUGH	28	PRAY WIFE DIDN'T SEE	8
BLUSH	19	PINCH HER BACK	6
ENJOY/"DO AGAIN!"	14	SAY HELLO	5
"STOP, WOMAN!"	12

If Steve Harvey were wearing "Family Feud" underwear, they might have pictures of little whats on them?

XXX'S	27	ANSWERS/BOARDS	8
STEVES/STACHES	22	DOLLAR SIGNS	7
QUESTIONS/CARDS	12	BUZZERS	6
CONTESTANTS	10

Name a fruit or vegetable a farmer grows that he might say reminds him of his wife's bottom.

PEACH	24	TOMATO	8
MELON	21	PEAR	4
APPLE	17	SQUASH	2
PUMPKIN	16

Name something it gets harder to do after you're the ripe old age of 40.

MOVE/EXERCISE/LIFT	56	MAKE FRIENDS	3
LOSE WEIGHT	18	PEE/POOP	3
SLEEP	5	SEE	2
STAY UP	4

Name something from the kitchen that lovers might bring into the bedroom.

WHIPPED CREAM	48	DRINK/BOOZE	7
PRODUCE	12	SPATULA/SPOON	5
CHOCOLATE	9	ICE CREAM	2
CRISCO/OIL	8

Fill in the blank: That person is as thin as a ______.

RAIL	39	PENCIL/PEN	4
STICK/TWIG	18	TOOTHPICK	4
POLE/BEANPOLE	17	REED	2
SHEET OF PAPER	7

Name something a person running barefoot at the beach would hate to step on.

GLASS	36	ROCK	5
SHELL	27	USED SYRINGE	3
JELLYFISH	11	SEA URCHIN	3
CRAB	6

Most wives are psychic because they know when their husband is doing what?

CHEATING	36	BOOZING/AT BAR	6
LYING	25	SLEEPING	5
POOPING	10	GAMING	2
EATING	7

Name something a woman hopes is in her room when she checks into the Heartbreak Hotel.

CHOCOLATE/FOOD	28	TV	6
WINE	26	TUB/JACUZZI	5
HOT DUDE	15	VIBRATING BED	3
TISSUES	8

Name something a man wears because he thinks it makes him look like a tough guy.

LEATHER/PANTS	27	SHADES	8
TANK TOP	26	CHAIN/JEWELRY	6
BEARD	12	BOOTS	3
HAT/SIDEWAYS CAP	9

Fill in the blank: Becky intimidated men because she had a big what?

MOUTH	27	CAREER/SALARY	9
BRAIN/VOCAB	16	BICEP	6
BISCUIT/BUTT	15	PAIR OF MILKERS	5
EGO/PERSONALITY	13

When Steve Harvey counts his blessings, name one that he'd be sure to include.

BEIN' A BIG BALLA	21	THAT STACHE	10
FEUD/FAME	20	CUTE FACE/SMILE	6
WIFE/FAMILY	20	POCKET SQUARES/GARB	3
TALENT	11

We asked 100 married women...
Bad news: you found your husband's blow-up doll. Worse news: it's dressed to look like who?

HIS EX	35	HIS MOTHER	4
MY MOM	29	MY BESTIE	3
CELEB/BRAD PITT	10	MY DAD	3
ME	6

A dentist might pull your tooth. An immature dentist might pull your what?

LEG	32	NOSE	6
FINGER	20	EAR	3
TONGUE	20	TONSILS	3
HAIR	6

Name something you shouldn't do during your court trial.

TALK/CUSS OUT JUDGE	29	CONFESS	7
LIE	24	PICK YOUR NOSE	2
LAUGH	15	STRIP/EXPOSE GOODS	2
SLEEP/YAWN	11

Name something a caveman might give his cavewoman for her birthday.

SHINY ROCK	24	BONE	5
NEW CLUB	19	PET/MAMMOTH	5
FUR/PELT DRESS	18	FLOWER/WEEDS	4
FOOD/T-REX PIE	15

Name a reason a man might tell his wife that he's not in the mood.

TIRED	22	LIMP/WHISKEY WANG	8
SICK/HEADACHE	22	STRESS/WORK	7
GAME ON TV	15	FULL BELLY/GASSY	6
CHEATED 10 MIN. AGO	10

Name something Pinocchio has nightmares about someone doing to him.

CHOP'G/HIS NOSE	50	PUNCHING NOSE	3
BURN'G HIM	21	GETTING FRESH	2
MAKING HIM LIE	7	SANDING HIM	2
PINCH/PULL'G NOSE	4

Name an excuse you give a cop for why you can't go to jail.

HAVE KIDS/PREGGO	48	WEDDING	3
GOTTA WORK	25	SICK/DYING	3
I'M INNOCENT!	4	I'M PEE SHY	2
I'M TOO PRETTY	4

Name something in a sporting goods store that a clerk might hit a shoplifter with.

A BAT	44	OAR	4
HOCKEY STICK	14	BALL/BOWL'G BALL	4
GOLF CLUB	12	SKI POLE	3
A RACKET	8

At holiday dinners, tell me why you don't want to sit next to grandpa.

REEKS/CUTS CHEESE	44	LOUD EATER	5
YAPS/SAME STORIES	13	CAN'T HEAR	5
MESSY/SPITS	12	BURPS	5
HE'S DEAD :-(	5

Name a food starting with C that you can hand-feed your lover.

CHOCOLATE/CANDY	40	CARROT	6
CHERRIES	18	CHEESE/COTTAGE CHEESE	4
CAKE/CHEESECAKE	10	CHIPS	4
COOKIES	7

When a cheating husband is cremated, what might his wife throw in to burn with him?

HIS TRAMP	34	HIS CLOTHES	7
WEDDING RING	18	MARRIAGE LICENSE	6
PICTURES	14	GASOLINE	3
BLACK BOOK/PHONE	7

A single guy is hitting on girls at the bar on Saturday night. What is a married man doing?

TV/LAW & ORDER	34	THE SAME THING!	9
DATE NIGHT W/ WIFE	15	ENVYING HIM	4
SLEEPING	14	HIDING FROM WIFE	4
DRINKING	9

Because it's hell, tell me something about all the beds there that make them hellish.

HOT/ON FIRE	31	BEDBUGS	4
MADE OF NAILS	23	BAD SPRINGS	4
HARD AS ROCK	15	THIN/NO MATTRESS	4
LUMPY	8

Name something a man might ask his wife to tie up.

HIS TIE	27	HORSE/PET	6
HIM! YOWZA!	21	HER HAIR	5
SHOELACES	18	HER TUBES	3
TRASH BAG	9

If a stoner ran out of pot and smoked catnip, name something he might do just like a cat.

PURR	23	NAP/IN SUN	8
MEOW	22	RUN/CHASE STUFF	7
LICK/SELF	16	POTTY/LITTER BOX	4
ROLL AROUND	9

If you were in a rich guy's will, what dangerous activity might you invite him to do with you?

SKYDIVE	60	HUNT/SHOOT	5
MOUNTAIN CLIMB	7	24-HR. SHAG-A-THON	3
CAR RACE	5	SHARK DIVE	3
HANG GLIDE	5

Name something every game show host needs to have.

HUMOR/CHARISMA	49	STYLIN' THREADS	5
A MIC	15	GREAT SMILE	4
SULTRY VOICE	8	AN AUDIENCE	2
FOXY SIDEKICK	5

It's a red flag if a man says he has a close relationship with who?

HIS EX	43	BEST FRIEND'S BAE	2
HIS MOTHER	26	HIS SEXY BESTIE	2
BOSS/COWORKER	10	HIS PET/HORSE	2
A POLITICIAN	3

Name something you don't want to find out that grandma does on the weekends with her friends.

ORGIES/SEX	36	GAMBLES	6
GETS DRUNK	16	TROLLS FOR MEN	4
MALE STRIP JOINT	15	DRUGS/SELLS 'EM	4
NUDE BEACH/STRIPS	7

Name something a man will do around his wife but not his mother.

CUSS/YELL/ARGUE	27	SCRATCH HIS GOODS	3
BE NUDE/UNDIES	25	BURP	3
FART	20	GET DRUNK	3
KISS/MAKE LOVE	7

Name something on a dog that you wouldn't want on you.

FLEAS/TICKS	27	FLOPPY/POINTY EARS	6
TAIL	25	EXPOSED BOOTY	3
FUR ALL OVER	17	HANGING TONGUE	3
COLLAR & LEASH	7

Name something a pirate might be doing when he tells his parrot, "Shut your eyes -- I don't want you to see this."

PEE/POOPING	27	BURYING TREASURE	7
SEX AHOY	23	REMOVING EYE PATCH	3
EAT'G/CHICKEN	14	LOOTING	3
KILLING/FIGHT'G	11

If it had a great coach, name a sport that an octopus might become unbeatable at.

BASEBALL	26	SWIMMING	7
TENNIS	25	VOLLEYBALL	5
PING-PONG	12	FOOTBALL	5
SOCCER	8

Name something you pretend to be doing when you don't want to talk to someone.

SLEEPING	25	BATHROOM RUN	4
READING	21	MUSIC/AUDIO BOOK	4
ON PHONE/TEXT'G	19	THINKING HARD	3
WORKING	12

We asked 100 women...
Which high-paying job has the sexiest men?

DOCTOR	24	FIREFIGHTER	8
ACTOR	21	MODEL	5
LAWYER	18	CEO	3
ATHLETE	9

A wife might call herself a lady in waiting because she's always waiting for her husband to do what?

CLEAN/CHORES	40	COME HOME	5
HOME REPAIRS	15	GET READY TO GO OUT	5
BE NICE/COMPLIMENT	10	FINISH POOPING	5
GROW UP	7

Fill in the blank: A party is not a wild party until someone ______s.

PUKES	35	FALLS	5
GETS NAKED	18	YELLS	4
PASSES OUT	16	DANCES/ON TABLE	3
BREAKS STUFF	6

At a funeral, name something inappropriate a person might do at their lover's casket.

FRENCH 'EM	30	LAUGH	6
FONDLE/HUG 'EM	16	STEAL JEWELRY/HAIR	5
LIE IN/ON IT	15	TAKE SELFIE	3
YELL/CUSS OUT	12

Fill in the blank: If women ran the IRS, men would be taxed every time they ______ed.

LIED/SPOKE	28	POOPED/PEED	4
FARTED	22	DRANK	4
CHEATED	22	FLIRTED/OGLED	3
LEFT TOILET SEAT UP	4

Name an animal with a really big mouth.

HIPPO	44	SHARK	6
LION	11	LARGEMOUTH BASS	4
GATOR/CROC	10	ELEPHANT	3
WHALE	8

In hell, when the dentist is taking out your tooth, they use what?

PLIERS	38	CROWBAR	5
PITCHFORK	15	SAW/CHAIN SAW	4
HAMMER/JACKHAMMER	12	HOT POKER	3
BLOW TORCH/FIRE	9

Kids avoid the deli owner's house on Halloween because he puts scoops of what in their bag?

MEAT/LIVERWURST	33	COLESLAW	6
POTATO SALAD	16	CHEESE	5
MAYO/CONDIMENTS	16	PASTA SALAD	4
TUNA	6

Name something that you did more of than other kids in kindergarten.

READ/STUDY	27	PEE/POO MYSELF	6
NAP	20	PLAY/RUN	6
CRY/SCREAM	13	TALK/TATTLE	5
COLOR/PAINT	9

You'd be shocked if you got an obscene phone call and the caller ID said it's from your who?

MOM/DAD	25	GRAM/GRAMPS	10
BOSS/COWORKER	13	EX	9
PASTOR...AGAIN	13	SHRINK	5
BRO/SIS	11

The Big Bad Wolf was surprised to discover that Little Red Riding Hood had a really big what?

GUN/WEAPON	24	BASKET	10
PATOOTIE	14	HEAD/EGO	8
NOSE	13	"MAN PART"	5
MOUTH/TEETH	12

Name something even a tough guy might admit he's afraid of.

SPIDERS/BUGS	39	GHOSTS/MONSTERS	4
SNAKES	26	HIS WIFE	3
DEATH	6	HIS MOM	3
THE DARK	4

Name something twin cowboys might share.

HORSE/SADDLE	39	LOVER/COWGIRL	6
BOOTS	14	LASSO	4
HAT	12	BEDROOM	3
MOM/GOOD GENES	7

Fill in the blank: A man never wants to hear his wife say, "I'm ______."

LEAVING	36	DYING/SICK	5
PREGGO/TRIPLETS	19	GAY	5
TOO TIRED	8	ANGRY, YOU SCUMBAG!	4
BROKE/JOBLESS	8

Name something a waitress might do if Steve Harvey tipped her $500.

KISS & HUG HIM	32	"THANKS BRUH!"	6
CRY/SCREAM	23	BRAG/POST ABOUT IT	5
FAINT	7	JUMP FOR JOY	5
LAP DANCE	7

Real men don't use toilet paper. They use what?

LEAVES	17	BIDET/PRESSURE HOSE	11
THEIR HAND	16	NEWSPAPER	10
SANDPAPER	13	WIPES	7
PAPER TOWELS	11

Name the worst place to go looking for love.

BAR/CLUB	41	STRIP JOINT	5
FUNERAL/CEMETERY	14	CHURCH	3
JAIL/RIKERS	13	NURSING HOME	3
FAMILY REUNION	5

Fill in the blank: I always wondered what it would be like to ______ naked.

SWIM/HIT BEACH	36	DANCE/TWERK	7
RUN/WALK	12	SHOP/AT WALMART	5
DRIVE	10	COOK	4
SLEEP	10

Name something the Bad Tooth Fairy might leave in exchange for a tooth.

CANDY/SWEETS	24	ROCKS	5
COAL	21	ANOTHER TOOTH	4
TOOTHBRUSH/FLOSS	17	STEAMY TURD	4
A MEASLY PENNY	9

Fill in the blank: My nose is ______.

RUNNING	25	CUTE/PERFECT	7
STUFFY	16	RED	6
HUGE/LONG	13	ITCHY	5
COLD	11

Name a Disney movie that makes adults cry like babies.

BAMBI	32	TOY STORY	7
THE LION KING	20	OLD YELLER	5
DUMBO	7	THE LITTLE MERMAID	4
UP	7

We asked 100 women...
You might call your mate "the Gingerbread Man" because you love nibbling on his what?

EARS	28	CHEST	6
NECK	22	FEET/TOES	6
ARM	10	HANDS/FINGERS	4
LIPS	6

Name a kind of bug a nudist lives in fear of crawling on his bottom.

SPIDER	27	BEE/WASP	8
FIRE ANT	16	SCORPION	6
ROACH	11	FLEA	4
TICK	10

Name someone you'd hate to run into while you were out jogging naked through the neighborhood.

MOM & DAD	23	MY EX	7
CLERGY/PASTOR PETER	17	NEIGHBOR	5
THE PO-PO	13	IN-LAW	4
MY BOSS	13

Things got wild at the nursing home party when Nurse Linda showed up with what?

PRUNE-TINIS	26	GAMES/TWISTER	6
DRUGS/VIAGRA I.V.	19	A SEXY OUTFIT ON	5
STRIPPER	11	SEX TOY	5
FOOD/TAPIOCA	9

Name something that never lasts as long as you want it to.

SEX/MY MINUTE MAN	23	THE WEEKEND	8
GOOD FOOD/DRINK	19	SLEEP	6
MONEY	10	LOVE/ROMANCE	6
VACATION	9

Name someone you'd be surprised to find out isn't wearing any underwear.

MY FOLKS	20	MY BOSS	10
CLERGY/SISTER AGNES	14	MY BOO	10
PRESIDENT	12	MY DOC/SHRINK	4
GRANNY/GRAMPS	11

We asked 100 women...
What do you really think is the sexiest part of a man?

EYES	19	BRAIN	9
SMILE/LIPS	18	HUMOR/PERSONALITY	7
BUNS	13	THIGHS/LEGS	5
BICEPS/ARMS	10

In a "Naked Women of Nursing Homes" calendar, what might Miss July be holding?

AMERICAN FLAG	27	HER TEETH	4
FIRECRACKERS	26	BOOZE	3
WALKER/CANE	13	OXYGEN TANK	3
FOOD/BOMB POP	4

Name an occupation that you might be embarrassed to admit you paid for their service.

WEEKLY HOOKER	32	MASSEUR	4
HOUSEKEEPER	18	DATING SERVICE	3
DOC/PLASTIC SURG.	13	PLUMBER/ROTO-ROOTER	3
STRIPPER	6

Name a reason you might have a hot bottom.

HEATED/HOT SEAT	21	A HEATER	6
GOT SPANKED	16	RAGING HEMORRHOIDS	5
SUNBURN	16	I'M SEXY/BUFF	5
SAT BY FIRE	10

Name something that you do that your mother wouldn't approve of if she knew you did it.

SMOKE	38	LIE	5
WEED	11	EAT JUNK	5
DRINK	7	SEX	5
SWEAR	7

We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: I desperately want a boyfriend because my ______ is broken.

HEART	35	CONFIDENCE/PSYCHE	4
CAR	22	HOPE/FAITH	3
VIBRATOR	6	TV	3
HUSBAND	5

Name a big bird that would not fit into the average birdcage.

OSTRICH	24	PELICAN	5
EAGLE	22	BIG BIRD!	5
EMU	13	HAWK	4
FLAMINGO	5

Fill in the blank: I want to ______ Steve Harvey.

MEET/TALK TO	32	BE	4
HUG	19	GET $ FROM/ROB	4
SPANK/HIT	6	SHAKE HANDS WITH	4
TONGUE KISS	5

Name a food a sword swallower could shove right down their throat.

1-FT. WIENER/SAUSAGE	23	FISH	5
BANANA	21	SHISH KEBAB	4
CUCUMBER/PICKLE	11	CHICKEN	4
BREAD/LOAF	6

Name something old that you love.

SPOUSE/FAMILY	22	HOUSES	7
BLANKET/QUILT	12	MOVIES/TV SHOWS	7
MUSIC/LAWRENCE WELK	9	PHOTOS	6
CLOTHES/SHOES	9

Name an occupation in which you'd trust a woman more than a man.

NURSE	20	TEACHER	6
DOC/DENTIST	19	POLITICIAN	5
BEAUTICIAN/HAIR	9	MASSAGE THERAPIST	4
NANNY/DAY CARE	7

Name an S word that describes the underwear you have on right now.

SOFT	15	SMALL	6
SEXY	13	SIMPLE	5
SILKY	12	SKIMPY	5
SHORT	7

If you really could be bored to death, name a place where you might die.

WORK	14	DESERT/DEATH VALLEY	8
BEACH/ISLAND	10	LIBRARY	7
SCHOOL/CLASS	9	HOME/CRAPPER	7
CHURCH	8

You love the smell of what?

FLOWERS	26	VANILLA	5
RAIN	9	COOKIES	4
BACON	7	GASOLINE	4
COFFEE	7

Name an occupation where you use your arms a lot.

ATHLETE	25	CHEF	4
CONSTRUCTION	15	DRIVER	3
AIR TRAFFIC	7	FITNESS TRAINER	3
MOVER	5

Name something about you that a friend criticizes one too many times that you dump them.

MY WEIGHT/BODY	25	TALKING TOO MUCH	5
MY HAIR	8	MY BAE	5
MY FACE	8	MY INTELLECT	5
MY STYLE/OVERALLS	6

Name something specific you'd be shocked to see everybody wearing when you get to heaven.

G-STRINGS	14	GLASSES	5
SWIMSUITS/BIKINIS	13	HATS/FEDORAS	5
NOTHING	12	SKINNY JEANS	5
SHOES/CROCS	7

Name a living comedian who's smart enough to be president.

STEVE HARVEY	14	CHRIS ROCK	6
DAVE CHAPPELLE	10	JERRY SEINFELD	6
JON STEWART	8	HOWIE MANDEL	5
STEVE MARTIN	8

Name something in your home that isn't working.

ME	13	AIR COND./HEATER	5
MY SPOUSE/MATE	9	TV	5
LIGHT/FLASHLIGHT	9	PLUMBING/TOILET	5
CEILING FAN	6

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