We asked 100 women...
If you wanted to turn your man into a tasty hot dog, what would you smear on him?
 

100

MUSTARD

34

CHEESE

4

KETCHUP

29

ONIONS

3

RELISH

18

MAYO

3

CHILI

7

SAUERKRAUT

2







We asked 100 married men...
Some women eat like a bird. What animal does your wife eat like?
 

100

3 HORSES

33

HOG

7

DOG

22

COW

5

PACK OF WOLVES

13

GIRAFFE

5

ELEPHANT

12

RHINO

3







We asked 100 married women...
If you had to guess, your husband's brain is the size of what kind of ball?
 

100

TENNIS BALL

25

BASKETBALL

9

GOLF BALL

21

BOWLING BALL

5

BASEBALL/SOFTBALL

17

BEACH BALL

4

SOCCER BALL

11

VOLLEYBALL

8







Name something about Mickey Mouse that Minnie Mouse thinks is hot.
 

99

DEM EARS

62

CUTE BOOTY/TAIL

3

OUTFIT/SHIRTLESS

13

KIND/CHARMING

3

VOICE/LAUGH

9

HE'S RICH

3

BIG "HANDS"

4

BIG NOSE

2







If a woman had a clown fetish, what about a clown might she say really turns her on?
 

99

RED NOSE

53

GINGER PERM

3

BIG FEET/SHOES

28

BIG SMILE

3

HUMOR/PRANKS

5

HORN NOISES

2

MAKEUP

3

EYES/CREEPY STARE

2







Miss Piggy aside, name a reason Kermit the Frog might say female pigs are sexier than female frogs.
 

99

HOT BOD/BIG BOOTY

48

SEXIER NOISES

3

NICE SNOUT

19

DON'T JUMP

2

THEY'RE PINK

16

DON'T GIVE YOU WARTS

2

TASTE LIKE BACON

7

CUTE TAIL

2







If a bald guy were really into baldness, he might also shave the hair off his what?
 

99

CHEST

36

ARMS/PITS

5

GROIN/WRINKLY NADS

24

BACK

4

FACE/EYEBROWS

18

LEGS

3

ENTIRE BODY!

6

BUTT/CHILI CANNON

3







Name something your body might do while laughing uncontrollably.
 

99

PEE A LITTLE

33

SNORT

4

SHAKE/TWITCH

29

CRAMP/HURT

3

TOOT

19

FALL DOWN

2

CRY

7

CONTORT

2







We asked 100 women...
You were dating the world's most handsome man. Tell me why you dumped him.
 

99

EGO/DOUCHEY

33

NO $/CHEAP

5

CHEATED

20

PINKY-SIZED DINKY

5

PEAKED IN 1ST GRADE

18

ODOR/FISH & POO

4

DULLSVILLE

12

LIAR

2







Name something you hope they don't reuse in the doctor's office.
 

99

NEEDLE

31

COTTON/SWAB

6

TONGUE DEPRESSOR

25

THERMOMETER

4

GLOVES

20

TISSUES

3

PEE CUP

7

GOWN

3







We asked 100 men...
If humans had a mating call, what animal might yours sound like?
 

99

GORILLA/MONKEY

31

HORSE

9

LION

21

KITTY CAT

7

WOLF

14

BEAR

2

DOG

13

ELEPHANT

2







Name something about Ronald McDonald that a woman might find sexy.
 

99

FACE/NOSE

29

SEXY OUTFIT

7

GINGER PERM

23

HEART/PERSONALITY

7

BOD/BIG FEET

18

RONNIE'S RICH

5

NOTHING!

8

FREE FOOD!

2







Fill in the blank: A wife might call her husband "baby," but only because he ______s like a baby.
 

98

WHINES/CRIES

72

EATS

3

SLEEPS

7

BURPS

3

TALKS

4

LOOKS/IS CUTE

3

SMELLS

3

IS HELPLESS

3







A man wants a woman's phone number. Name a number of his that she might want to know.
 

98

SALARY/NET WORTH

57

"SHOE" SIZE/GIRTH

5

AGE

16

BABES/EX-WIVES

4

HIS PHONE #

6

CREDIT SCORE

2

IQ

6

ADDRESS

2







You've got a hot date. You've also got a huge pimple on your nose. Tell me what you do.
 

98

POP THAT SUCKA!

48

COVID MASK

5

MAKEUP

18

JOKE ABOUT IT

2

CANCEL DATE

12

MEDS/COMPRESS

2

BAND-AID

9

IGNORE/KEEP DATE

2







Your young kids just discovered your stash of weed. What do you tell them it is?
 

98

HERBS/SPICES

48

POTPOURRI

5

WEED/UNCLE STEVE'S

17

VEGGIES

4

MEDICINE

9

GRASS CLIPPINGS

4

TOBACCO

8

CATNIP

3







Bob's back hair was so thick, his wife used what garden tool to groom it?
 

98

RAKE

46

CHAINSAW

5

SHEARS/CLIPPERS

24

LAWN MOWER

4

HOE

7

WEEDWACKER

4

HEDGE TRIMMER

6

GARDEN BRUSH

2







You're driving around nude for fun and your car breaks down. Who do you call?
 

98

BAE/SPOUSE

43

TAILOR/CLOTHING SHOP

4

BFF

22

PARENTS

3

AAA/MECHANIC

15

POLICE/911

3

SIBLING

5

MY KID

3







During a Zoom meeting, you'd mute yourself so you can do what?
 

98

SNEEZE/COUGH

40

WHIZ/DUMP

5

SIDE CONVO/YELL

21

EAT/COOK

3

BLOW AIR BISCUITS

20

YAWN/SLEEP

2

BURP

5

TEXT/TYPE

2







Name someone you visit who you hope doesn't answer the door naked.
 

98

PARENTS

37

PREACHER/CLERGY

6

GRANDPARENTS

21

IN-LAW

4

NEIGHBOR

17

SIBLING

3

BFF

8

MY KIDS

2







During his act, Bob the stripping baker invites the ladies to put what on his buns?
 

98

HOT BUTTER

36

CREAM/WHIPPED

6

ICING/GLAZE

29

FLOUR

5

OIL

8

THEIR HANDS

4

MONEY

7

HONEY

3







We asked 100 men...
You wouldn't want your wife to have what just like your mom's?
 

98

TEMPER/LOUD MOUTH

36

BAD HEALTH

8

HAIRSTYLE

18

RULES/A WHIP

2

BOD/BEER GUT

18

COOKING SKILLS

2

FACE/WHISKERS

12

GRANNY CLOTHES

2







We asked 100 men...
If they made a statue of you, name a part you'd hope they make a little bigger than it really is.
 

98

VIENNA SAUSAGE

34

HEAD/BRAIN

7

BICEPS/ARMS

20

PECS

6

MY DINKY HANDS

14

FACE/CHIN

2

LEGS/CALVES

13

SHOULDERS

2







We asked 100 married women...
If you were going to seduce your husband, tell me the first thing you'd do.
 

98

GET NEKKID!

33

KISS/LICK HIM

8

PUT ON LINGERIE

21

LIGHT CANDLES

7

SHOWER

11

COMPLIMENT HIM

5

SEXT HIM

10

RUB/TOUCH HIM

3







We asked 100 married women...
Name a reason you haven't killed your husband yet.
 

98

NEED HIS INCOME

31

THE KIDS

4

I'D GO TO JAIL

25

I'D BE LONELY

3

I LOVE HIM

25

THE CLEANUP

3

DOES YARD WORK

5

HE COOKS

2







We asked 100 women...
Fill in the blank: You'd be surprised if your man told you, "You ______ just like my mom."
 

98

NAG/TALK

30

SMELL

8

COOK

28

HUG

3

LOOK

17

MAKE LOVE

2

KISS

8

BURP & FART

2







Who does a married man claim his mistress is when he's caught out in public with her?
 

98

COWORKER

29

NIECE

4

SISTER

25

DAUGHTER

2

COUSIN

22

WIFE

2

FRIEND

12

NANNY

2







We asked 100 single women...
Fill in the blank: A guy who is good at ______ is probably also good in bed.
 

98

CONVERSATION

25

FIXING THINGS

12

DANCING

23

PLAY'G INSTRUMENT

3

COOKING

16

PUSH-UPS

2

KISSING

15

BUYING GIFTS

2







We asked 100 men...
Two heads are better than one because if you had two heads, you could do twice as much what?
 

98

EATING

24

SMOOCHING

11

THINKING

19

READING

10

COMPLAIN'G/TALK'G

17

WORKING

2

DRINKING

13

LOVEMAKING

2







Name something a bad singer might see the audience do while they're singing.
 

98

LEAVE/RUN!

19

BOO

11

LAUGH

17

CRINGE/MAKE FACES

11

YAWN/SLEEP

17

TALK

4

PLUG EARS

16

PLAY ON PHONE

3







What do people do around a campfire that you'd be surprised to see firemen do at a house fire?
 

97

COOK/EAT S'MORES

60

STARE/DO NOTHING

4

SING

11

DRINK BREWSKIS

3

STOKE/FUEL IT

8

PEE ON IT

3

TALK/GHOST STORY

6

SMOKE POT

2







Name an animal with a longer tongue than yours.
 

97

GIRAFFE

50

FROG

4

SNAKE

15

DOG

3

ANTEATER/AARDVARK

12

COW

2

LIZARD

9

HORSE

2







Name something a wife might do if her husband named his new boat after his ex-wife.
 

97

DESTROY/SINK IT

39

PAINT OVER/RENAME

5

"ADIOS!"

33

SCREAM

4

BEAT HIM UP

6

POUT

3

KILL HIM

5

NAME CAR AFTER HER EX

2







We asked 100 married women...
Name something your husband does to make you feel sexy.
 

97

TELLS ME I AM!

37

SMILES AT ME

7

KISSES ME

18

LISTENS

5

BUYS GIFTS

14

SULTRY STARE

4

HUGS/TOUCHES ME

10

WHISTLES

2







A woman would hate to hear her new boyfriend does what in the shower?
 

97

PEES

36

FARTS

3

TICKLES HIS TAMALE

24

SPITS/BLOWS SNOT

3

SINGS/BRITNEY

22

CRIES

2

POOPS

5

NOT USE SOAP/CLEAN

2







Mrs. Peanut traded up. She dumped Mr. Peanut and she started dating Mr. what kind of nut?
 

97

MR. CASHEW

35

MR. PISTACHIO

10

MR. BRAZIL NUT

18

MR. HAZELNUT

5

MR. WALNUT

13

MR. PECAN

3

MR. ALMOND

11

MR. MACADAMIA

2







We asked 100 men...
You'd give up what before you'd give up drinking beer?
 

97

WORKING

35

EATING

9

SPORTS/EXERCISE

11

WATER

9

SODA

11

SEX

6

CIGS/CIGARS

10

MY SPOUSE/MATE

6







We asked 100 men...
Name something James Bond has in his car that you might wish you had in yours.
 

97

WEAPON/MISSILE

34

BAR/MARTINI

6

EJECTION SEAT

20

BULLETPROOF GLASS

5

HOT BABES

16

SMOKE SCREEN

5

AUTOPILOT

7

WAY TO FLY/TRANSFORM

4







Name something that unfortunately does not stay in Vegas but might follow you home.
 

97

STD

33

STORIES/PICS

4

DEBT

32

HANGOVER

3

FLING/NEW SPOUSE

10

COP/WARRANT

3

BEDBUGS

9

BAD LUCK

3







We asked 100 men...
Name something the girl of your dreams doesn't care about.
 

97

$$$/ME WORKING

33

BIG HOUSE

11

MY TROLL FACE

18

DIET/WEIGHT

6

MAKEUP

13

SPORTS

2

MY AGE

12

SEX

2







Name something that happens to a man that his ex-wife might say he had it coming.
 

97

DUMPED/CHEATED ON

33

EVERY STD/SICK

7

HURT/BY HER CAR

16

JAIL/TICKET

7

BROKE/NO JOB

14

IMPOTENCE

5

DEAD/EATEN BY DOG

11

GRAY/BALDING

4







We asked 100 married women...
Name something an elephant has that your husband has, too.
 

97

BIG EARS

27

GOOD MEMORY

11

LONG NOSE

17

BIG MOUTH

9

BIG BELLY

13

HUGE FEET

4

ROUGH, WRINKLY SKIN

13

FLAT BOOTY

3







We asked 100 married men...
Good news: your wife is wearing edible underwear. Better news: it tates like what?
 

97

CHOCOLATE/CANDY

23

COFFEE

12

FRUIT/BERRIES

17

CAKE

9

BEER

16

PIZZA

5

BACON

12

CHICKEN NUGGETS

3







Name a subtle signal you send your date so they kiss you.
 

97

LEAN IN

22

CLOSE EYES

8

WINK/BAT EYES

17

PUCKER UP

7

LICK/BITE LIPS

16

SMILE COYLY

6

STARE/AT THEIR LIPS

15

TOUCH/HANDS

6







Grandpa got confused and stuck his hearing aid in his what?
 

96

NOSE

58

COFFEE/DRINK

3

MOUTH

18

HEMORRHOIDAL BOOTY

2

POCKET/CLOTHES

8

WALLET

2

BELLY BUTTON

3

DENTURE CUP

2







You know you shouldn't, but name someone you have sexy dreams about.
 

96

CELEB/JASON MOMOA

54

IN-LAW

4

MY EX

16

POLITICIAN

2

BOSS/COWORKER

9

CLERGY

2

MY HOT BUDDY

7

DOC/PROCTOLOGIST

2







Name something music puts you in the mood to do.
 

96

DANCE/TANGO

53

SLEEP

3

CLEAN/VACUUM

15

RUN/EXERCISE

3

MAKE LOVE

13

WORK

2

SING

5

PLAY INSTRUMENT

2







Name something you'd be surprised a doctor did to your bottom during a routine exam.
 

96

SPANK/PATTED IT

45

TOOK A PIC

3

PINCH/SQUEEZED IT

18

KISSED IT

2

CARESSED IT

15

TOOK A WHIFF

2

PROBED IT

9

SHAVED IT

2







Name something specific you only do during a kiss if it's a passionate kiss.
 

96

TONGUE 'EM

39

AROUSED/MORE KISSES!

5

MOAN & SIGH

19

LIFT ONE LEG

2

CLOSE EYES

16

MAKE IT LAST

2

HUG/GROPE

11

BITE!

2







Name something that's hard for a man to admit he's not very good at.
 

96

SEX

38

COOKING

8

DRIVING/DIRECTIONS

18

FINANCES

3

FIXING THINGS

13

LISTENING

2

SPORTS

12

CLEANING

2







Grandpa suspected grandma was having an affair when he found another guy's false teeth where?
 

96

BED/UNDER PILLOW

37

KITCHEN/COFFEE

7

NIGHTSTAND

19

IN HER MOUTH

4

BATHROOM/DENTURE CUP

12

DRESSER DRAWER

3

PANTIES/GARB

11

UNDER BED

3







What might a wife do if her husband said, "Yes, that dress does make you look fat"?
 

96

SLAP/KICK IN NADS

32

DIVORCE HIM

6

CRY

23

KICK OUTTA BED

4

CHANGE/THANK HIM

15

FLIP HIM OFF

2

GET MAD/CUSS

12

SILENT TREATMENT

2







Your mom just posted a topless photo on Instagram. What do you do?
 

96

DIE/CRY/HIDE

30

LAUGH/LOVE IT

9

CALL HER

20

UNFOLLOW HER

5

DON'T LOOK/IGNORE

16

TAKE HER PHONE

2

REPORT/DELETE IT

12

DELETE MY ACCT.

2







We asked 100 married men...
Name something you'd like to give your mother-in-law.
 

96

ONE-WAY TICKET

30

FLOWERS

9

MY WIFE

13

HUG/WET KISS

9

GRANDKIDS

11

A FUNERAL/CYANIDE

8

NEARBY HOUSE

9

THE FINGER

7







Name a way a woman flirts with a man at a bar.
 

96

EYES/WINKS

29

GETS TOUCHY

9

SMILES/LAUGHS

19

DANCING

5

BUYS/ASKS FOR DRINK

18

CHATS/SEXY VOICE

3

FLIPS HAIR

11

BITES/LICKS LIPS

2







If you're invited to a really cheap funeral, you might be asked to bring your own what?
 

96

CHAIR/PEW

28

CASKET/CORPSE

10

FLOWERS

20

TISSUES

7

FOOD

12

SHOVEL/DIRT

5

BOOZE

12

FAN

2







Name something people lose on a roller coaster that you might find on the ground below.
 

96

MONEY/WALLET

27

KEYS

5

PHONE

21

"THEIR LUNCH"

4

GLASSES

19

A SHOE

3

HAT

15

TEETH

2







If Peter Pan ever gets married, what will his wife get tired of him talking about?
 

96

FLYING

27

CAPT. HOOK/PIRATES

9

NEVERLAND

20

THE LOST BOYS

5

TINKER BELL

18

WENDY

2

NEVER GROWING UP

13

PEANUT BUTTER

2







Name a chore you might be surprised Steve Harvey does around the house.
 

96

VACUUM/SWEEP

22

EMPTY TRASH

10

DISHES

20

COOK

9

LAUNDRY/FOR SONS

16

MOW LAWN

5

CLEAN TOILET

10

DUST

4







Name something of Santa's that an elf might get caught using.
 

95

SLEIGH & DEER

57

COMB

3

OUTFIT/HAT

19

KITCHEN/COOKIES

3

GIFT SACK/TOYS

6

TOOLS

2

BED...WITH MRS. C

3

NAUGHTY LIST

2







If I don't win money on "Family Feud," I hope at least I do what?
 

95

HAVE FUN

45

CONSOLATION PRIZE

4

SEEM SMART

22

GET FAMOUS/YOU TUBE

4

LOOK SEXY

8

WIN GAME

2

MEET/KISS STEVE

8

WIN LOTTO INSTEAD

2







Name something some people do with their eyes open that others do with their eyes closed.
 

95

KISS

45

SING

4

SEX

14

SNEEZE

2

SLEEP

14

THINK

2

SWIM/DIVE

12

PUT ON MAKEUP

2







Name a bakery item a baker might stuff in her bra before a date to give herself bigger cleavage.
 

95

BUNS/ROLLS

43

CUPCAKES

6

MUFFINS

14

BAGELS

4

DONUTS

13

CROISSANTS

3

BREAD/DOUGH

10

COOKIES

2







Name a kind of job where you might be cheered or booed by crowds.
 

95

ATHLETE

42

COP

5

COMEDIAN/ACTOR

17

SINGER

3

POLITICIAN

14

CHEERLEADER

2

REF/UMPIRE

10

STRIPPER

2







Name something a man has that he might pump up.
 

95

TIRE

41

EGO

6

MUSCLES

27

AIR MATTRESS

2

SPORTS BALL

9

RAFT

2

HIS DANGLER

6

REEBOK PUMP SHOES

2







What might a wife buy two of at a pet store -- one for the dog and one for her husband?
 

95

LEASHES

37

MUZZLES

4

BONES/FOOD

21

MATCHING CLOTHES

4

SHOCK COLLARS

13

CRATES/DOGHOUSES

3

TOYS/BALLS

10

BEDS/BLANKETS

3







The magician's rabbit said, "I don't mind when he pulls me out of his hat, but I hate it when he pulls me out of his ______."
 

95

PANTS/FLY

36

MOUTH

4

BUTT/DUMP TRUMPET

35

TRUNK/BASKET

3

SLEEVE

9

EAR CANAL

2

STINKY SHOE

4

SUIT COAT

2







Name something lovers have within reach when taking a bath together.
 

95

SOAP/SHAMPOO

34

TOY/"GOOD VIBES"

5

WINE

24

BUBBLE BATH

4

EACH OTHER

12

SPONGE/LOOFAH

4

TOWEL/WASHCLOTH

8

CANDLES

4







Name something new a woman might get within days of her divorce being final.
 

95

BOY TOY

34

FANCY CRIB

7

LEXUS

19

NEW 'DO

6

HEAD-TO-TOE SURGERY

17

DEPRESSED

2

SEXY GARB

8

CHA-CHING!

2







Name something a sword swallower would hate to do in the middle of their act.
 

95

COUGH

32

BURP

8

SNEEZE

22

PUKE/GAG

7

HICCUP

12

TRIP/FALL

2

CHOKE

10

STAB SELF/DIE

2







Name a complaint a firefighter might have about his hose.
 

95

TOO SHORT

31

LOW PRESSURE

10

KINKED/NO WATER

19

TOO LONG

6

HOLE/LEAKS

12

DROOPY

4

HEAVY/THICK

10

OUT OF CONTROL

3







Good news: the party last night was epic. Bad news: this morning, there was what in your swimming pool?
 

95

PEE/POOP

27

BIKINI/GARB

6

PEOPLE/BODY

25

CAR/MY LAMBO

4

BEER/FOOD/TRASH

17

CONDOM

3

PUKE

10

AN ALLIGATOR

3







Name a reason a woman might say she thinks farmers are sexy.
 

95

STRONG BODS/HANDS

26

BIG TRACTORS

8

WORK HARD

18

RUGGED LOOKS

7

OVERALLS/GETUP

17

SWEATY SCENT

3

FARMER'S TAN

13

FREE FOOD

3







We asked 100 women...
Steve Harvey probably looks hottest when he's wearing what?
 

94

SUIT/TUX

63

UNDIES

2

NOTHING/A SMILE

15

A PAPER BAG

2

SPEEDO/TRUNKS

5

BOOTY SHORTS

2

HAT/BERET

3

WIG

2







Name something you'd be shocked your boss gave you for your birthday.
 

94

$$$/RAISE

53

CAR

5

GARB/FUR UNDIES

15

VACAY/1 WHOLE DAY

4

SEX TOY

6

BLING

4

15-SECOND KISS

5

WALKING PAPERS

2







Name something of his wife's a man might try on just to see how he looks in it.
 

94

LINGERIE/STOCKINGS

46

SHIRT/TUBE TOP

5

DRESS/SKIRT

16

WIG

5

HEELS

8

HAT/BONNET

4

JACKET

6

JEANS/PANTS

4







Sally said, "It was so embarrassing. My husband was laying out at the nude beach and someone mistook him for a" what?
 

94

BEACHED WHALE

45

ACTOR

5

WOMAN

26

CHILD

2

WALRUS

6

OLD GEEZER

2

SEAL/SEA LION

6

BLANKET/TOWEL

2







Name something a broke cowboy might ride if he couldn't afford a horse.
 

94

DONKEY/MULE

44

MINI PONY

4

BIKE

24

BEAT-UP CAR

2

COW/BULL

11

MOPED

2

STICK PONY/BROOM

5

A COWGIRL

2







Name someone you kissed and then regretted it.
 

94

MY EX

43

HOT COUSIN

4

A FRIEND

23

MY DOG

4

RANDOM STRANGER

9

BOSS/COWORKER

3

1ST DATE

6

FRIEND'S SPOUSE

2







We asked 100 women...
You're drunk at a bar. You see a man who dumped you. What do you do?
 

94

IGNORE HIM

40

SAY HI

7

LEAVE/HIDE

18

PUKE ON HIM

2

TELL HIM OFF

15

FLIP HIM OFF

2

POUR DRINK ON HIM

8

HEADBUTT/ATTACK

2







We asked 100 women...
Brad Pitt just moved in next door. What's the first thing you do?
 

94

"HIII!"

38

BRAG/POST ON FB

4

BRING FOOD/GIFT

30

MOVE OUT

4

OPEN BLINDS

8

"GO BACK TO JEN"

2

NADA/BE CALM

6

BUY BINOCULARS

2







Name something men do shirtless that they wish women would, too.
 

94

SWIM/GYM/SPORTS

37

WALK AROUND

5

YARD WORK

17

SLEEP

4

SUNBATHE

16

WORK/CONSTRUCT'N

3

WASH CAR

10

CLEAN HOUSE

2







Name a bad occasion to yawn very loudly.
 

94

FUNERAL/EULOGY

36

MID-SEX

5

CHURCH

26

RECITAL/PLAY

3

WEDDING

11

MOVIE

3

WORK/MTG.

7

SPEECH/DAD'S LECTURE

3







Bob walked out of the bathroom and exclaimed, "Uh-oh -- I forgot to" what?
 

94

FLUSH MY DOODY

35

SHAVE

7

WASH MY HANDS

17

ZIP MY FLY

4

WIPE MY BOOTY

14

PUT SEAT DOWN

3

BRUSH MY TEETH

11

PULL UP PANTS

3







We asked 100 men...
You're visiting your buddy in jail. What are you taking to him?
 

94

MAGAZINES/NUDIES

31

SEXY UNDIES

4

FOOD/TACOS

27

ADVICE/COMFORT

3

SMOKES

19

A FILE

3

CARDS/GAMES

5

MONEY

2







We asked 100 married women...
Just between us, name an animal that probably has a higher IQ than your husband.
 

94

MONKEY/APE

31

PIG

8

DOG

24

OCTOPUS

3

DOLPHIN

13

BIRD

2

ELEPHANT

11

LION

2







When there's a serious toilet paper shortage, name something you might have to use instead.
 

94

KLEENEX

26

NAPKINS

9

PAPER TOWEL

21

BABY WIPES

7

NEWSPAPER/MAG

14

LEAVES

4

TOWEL/WASHRAG

10

SOCKS

3







Name a reason you don't swim in the nude.
 

94

EMBARRASSED/OF BOD

25

NO POOL/PLACE

5

CRITTERS

23

SUNBURN

4

GET CAUGHT

21

CAN'T SWIM

4

COLD/SHRINKAGE

9

MODEST/SHY

3







Name something special you might buy for a night of lovemaking.
 

94

LINGERIE/EDIBLE

24

WHIPPED CREAM/FOOD

7

LUBE/OIL

20

SWING/SEX TOY

4

WINE

19

CONDOMS/12-PACK

3

CANDLES

15

FLOWERS

2







Name something Miss Nude America contestants might model instead of swimsuits.
 

94

JEWELRY

23

PASTIES

9

STILETTOS

18

HAIRSTYLES/BOWS

9

HATS/CROWNS

14

BODY PAINT

6

BODS/BOOTIES

12

FLOWERS

3







Name a place you might choose to have a bridal shower for a 100-year-old bride.
 

93

SENIOR HOME/CTR.

58

CHURCH

3

CEMETERY/MORGUE

16

BINGO HALL

2

CRACKER BARREL

6

A GARDEN

2

HOSPITAL

4

FLORIDA

2







Tell me another way people say "prison."
 

93

JAIL/JAILHOUSE

55

LOCKUP

5

SLAMMER

10

POKEY

4

BIG HOUSE

6

JOINT

4

CLINK

6

PEN/PENITENTIARY

3







We asked 100 women...
The morning after a wild night with Ronald McDonald, you found a Chicken McNugget where?
 

93

IN THE BED

49

IN MY EAR

6

MY BRA/CLOTHES

11

MY HOO-HA

5

THE NIGHTSTAND

8

MY BOOTY

4

MY HAIR

7

MY NAVEL

3







Name something a woman might do if her church got a sexy new preacher.
 

93

GO MORE/JOIN CHOIR

42

PRAY/GIVE THANKS

7

CONFESSION

14

SIT IN FRONT

6

DOLLED UP/CLEAVAGE

12

QUIT/COMPLAIN

2

HIT ON HIM

8

DONATE MORE

2







What would you do if a bear started following you in the woods?
 

93

LEAVE/OUTRUN MY KID

40

ATTACK/KILL IT

5

YELL/ROAR

19

FREEZE

5

HIDE/IN TREE

9

IGNORE IT

3

PLAY DEAD

9

PEE/POO MYSELF

3







Name something Marjorie Harvey likes to put on Steve's bald head.
 

93

LOTION/OIL

37

HER TONGUE/BOD

8

HAT/BERET

14

WAX

7

WIG/LADIES' WIG

11

HOT FUDGE

3

WHIPPED CREAM

10

HONEY

3







When cows get together, name something they probably complain about.
 

93

MILKED

36

FENCES/CROWDED

4

FOOD/CRABGRASS

32

FLIES

3

PEOPLE KILL/EAT

7

SLEEP STANDING

2

WEATHER

7

THEIR WEIGHT

2







If a funeral home lost the deceased's body, what might they put in the closed casket instead?
 

93

DUMMY/DOLL

33

OTHER BODY/SKELETON

5

ROCKS/BRICKS

21

SACKS OF FOOD

5

SANDBAGS

20

ANIMAL CARCASS

2

PILLOWS

5

CLOTHES

2







We asked 100 women...
Name something about a male stripper that makes him the worst ever.
 

93

GUT/D-CUP MOOBS

30

BAD DANCER

6

UGLY

21

STINKY/SWEATY

4

HAIRY/BACK FUR

19

CLOTHES

2

TEENY IN THE WEENIE

9

FLAT BUTT

2







We asked 100 women...
You'd fire your babysitter immediately if you came home and found her using your what?
 

93

MAKEUP

25

FAVE VIBRATOR

10

TOOTHBRUSH

20

BED

3

THONG/GARB

20

RAZOR

3

HUBBY

10

COMPUTER

2







Name a musical instrument that an insecure man might hide in his underpants to look more endowed.
 

92

FLUTE/PICCOLO

49

TROMBONE

4

HARMONICA

21

PAIR OF MARACAS

3

CLARINET

5

SAXOPHONE

3

TRUMPET

5

TUBA

2







Name something a wife wants to know about her ex-husband that starts with "Is he" what?
 

92

MARRIED/DATING?

36

HAPPY/SAD?

7

GAY/OUT YET?

20

STILL STUPID?

2

DEAD YET?

12

STILL A CHEATER?

2

RICH/BROKE?

11

IN PRISON YET?

2







Fill in the blank: A little kid might ask a stranger, "Why are you so ______?"
 

92

TALL

34

ANGRY/MEAN

5

FAT

28

SAD

3

UGLY

13

DUMB

2

OLD

5

WEIRD

2







Name something other than chicken that they make nuggets out of at the Roadkill Café.
 

92

POSSUM

33

WILD TURKEY

6

SQUIRREL

16

SKUNK

4

DEER

14

RABBIT

3

RACCOON

13

GATOR

3







Susan's plastic surgery went all wrong, and now her eyes are where?
 

92

HER FOREHEAD

29

HER CHIN

7

TOP/BACK OF HEAD

16

HER BOOTY CAKES

7

HER BOOBS

12

HER CHEEKS

7

HER NOSE

8

HER EARS

6







Name something that might physically happen to your body when you're scared.
 

92

SWEAT

26

HEART RACES

5

SHAKE/SHIVER

22

MUSCLES TENSE UP

4

PEE DOWN LEG

20

FAINT

3

GOOSE BUMPS

9

CRY

3







If Steve Harvey had hair, what style would you be surprised he wore it in?
 

92

MOHAWK

21

DREADLOCKS

8

AFRO

19

JHERI CURL/CURLY

6

LONG/PONYTAIL

16

COMB-OVER

5

MULLET

14

POMPADOUR

3







Fill in the blank: Maybe some people dig it, but I would never want to ______ in the nude.
 

91

SWIM/EXERCISE

41

DANCE/TWERK

5

SUNBATHE

22

EAT

4

COOK/GRILL

8

YARD WORK

3

SLEEP

6

POSE/FOR PICTURE

2







Name something a wife might playfully smack her husband with in the bedroom.
 

91

PILLOW

38

WHIP/PADDLE

6

HER HAND

15

HAIRBRUSH

5

TOWEL

13

SEX TOY

4

THONG/LINGERIE

7

HER BOOBIES

3







Tell me something about a man that might remind you of Dr. Frankenstein's monster.
 

91

FACE/SQUARE HEAD

38

CONVO/I.Q.

7

HEIGHT

14

SCARY/TEMPER

7

WAY HE MOVES/DANCES

8

SKIN/GREEN HUE

5

HAIRCUT

7

HUGE FEET

5







Name a pizza topping that would make a good stripper name.
 

91

PEPPER/JALAPEÑO

31

PINEAPPLE

7

PEPPERONI

17

SAUSAGE

6

CHEESE/MOZZARELLA

16

RED SAUCE/WHITE SAUCE

3

BLACK OLIVE

8

PORTABELLO

3







Name something you'd hate to come outside and find on your car.
 

91

POOP

30

A TREE

9

A TICKET

16

GRAFFITI/PAINT

5

SKUNK/CRITTER

14

SNOW

4

EGG

9

A PERSON/I RAN OVER

4







Name something a man would hate to have happen as he was proposing to his girlfriend.
 

91

FARTS/THE RUNS

28

RAIN/LIGHTN'G STRIKE

6

SHE SAYS NO

23

PHONE RINGS

5

LOSES RING

16

HIS PANTS RIP

5

MATE/EX SHOWS UP

6

FAINTS

2







As painful as it sounds, Bob, the nude athlete, uses his package to play what sport?
 

91

BASEBALL

28

BILLIARDS

8

TENNIS

19

VOLLEYBALL

4

GOLF

17

HOCKEY

3

PING-PONG

9

POLE VAULTING

3







Name something you might do if you forgot to put on deodorant for the day.
 

91

COLOGNE

26

OWN MY STANK!

7

WASH OFF/WIPES

19

BUY/BORROW SOME

7

AVOID PEOPLE

12

STAY COOL/SWIM

6

KEEP ARMS DOWN

10

SNIFF PITS

4







We asked 100 women...
You'd rather do what than have sex?
 

91

EAT/A RAW ONION

24

GO DANCING

7

SLEEP

16

CUDDLE

6

TV/ROMANTIC MOVIE

16

SPA DAY/MASSAGE

4

SHOP

14

TRAVEL

4







We asked 100 women...
Name an exercise you'd like to see a guy do in a man thong.
 

91

PUSH-UPS

20

SIT-UPS

7

SQUATS

18

JOG/WALK

7

YOGA/DOWNWARD DOG

17

LUNGES

4

JUMPING JACKS

16

PLANKING

2







Name a person you might be secretly attracted to.
 

90

COWORKER

44

CLERGY/SISTER SUZY

4

CELEB/NICK CANNON

21

TEACHER

4

MY DOC/NURSE

6

EX/OLD FLAME

3

FRIEND

5

IN-LAW

3







Name something a woman might do if her husband ditched her on their honeymoon.
 

90

CRY

29

USE HIS AMEX

7

DIVORCE HIM

23

PUSH OFF CLIFF/KILL

3

DRINK/CLUBBING

13

GO HOME

3

BOINK A BELLHOP

9

BE THRILLED!

3







Name something you wish you could tell your ex you miss about them.
 

90

TOE-CURLING SEX

26

THEIR $$$

8

HUMOR/LAUGH

15

COMPANIONSHIP/CHATS

8

FACE/SMILE

13

THEIR FAMILY

4

HUGS/KISSES

13

THEIR COOKING

3







Marian the librarian shocked everyone when she wore what to work?
 

90

NOTHING

23

HIGH HEELS

11

SKIMPY DRESS/SKIRT

17

BIKINI

10

THONG/LINGERIE

13

FISHNETS

2

DAISY DUKES

12

P.J.'S

2







Name a kind of plastic surgery you'd be surprised Steve Harvey just had done.
 

90

HAIR TRANSPLANT

22

EYE LIFT

6

NOSE JOB

20

BUTT LIFT/IMPLANTS

6

FACELIFT

19

BOOB JOB/PECS

6

LIP JOB/ENHANCEMENT

7

TUMMY TUCK/LIPO

4







I bet you speak some Spanish. Give me one word in Spanish that everybody knows.
 

89

HOLA

64

AGUA

4

UNO

5

AMIGO

3

GRACIAS

5

BUENO

2

4

TACO

2







What might make a lady frog fall in love with a bullfrog?
 

89

DEEP CROAK

44

KISS/BECOME PRINCE

5

POWER TONGUE

17

SEXY WARTS

4

LONG LEGS

7

HUNTER/FOOD STASH

3

BODY SIZE

6

HIS COLORING

3







Name something your boss would be surprised you did while he's yelling at you.
 

89

LAUGH/SMILE

38

SASHAY AWAY

6

IGNORE/MAKE CALLS

17

QUIT

5

YAWN/DOZE OFF

8

SOB

5

YELL BACK

6

FART ON HIM

4







Fill in the blank: My perfect mate wouldn't ______ too much.
 

89

TALK/NAG

36

YELL/CUSS

7

FART

13

EAT

5

SNORE

11

SPEND

4

DRINK

10

CHEAT

3







We asked 100 men...
Name something you share with your best friend.
 

89

BEER/DRINK

28

GOOD LAUGH/JOKES

7

THOUGHTS/STORY

20

CAR/TRUCK

5

FOOD

11

CIGS

4

TOOLS

10

MY WIFE/MATE

4







Name something you go up and down on.
 

89

ELEVATOR

27

ESCALATOR

8

SEESAW

16

MY STRIPPER POLE

7

STAIRS

14

MY WEIGHT

5

LADDER

8

ROLLER COASTER

4







Name a tall guy whose nickname should be "Mount Baldy."
 

89

SHAQ

26

MICHAEL JORDAN

7

DWAYNE JOHNSON

17

KOJAK/TELLY SAVALAS

6

MR. CLEAN

17

DR. PHIL

3

STEVE HARVEY

10

KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR

3







Name an animal that would creep you out if it stuck its tongue down your throat.
 

89

LIZARD

22

GIRAFFE

11

SNAKE

18

COW

5

DOG

13

FROG

4

ANTEATER/AARDVARK

12

HORSE

4







Name something you might see coming out of a hole.
 

89

WORM/BUG

18

MOUSE/RAT

11

SNAKE

13

GROUNDHOG

11

GOPHER

12

MOLE

9

RABBIT

12

POOP

3







Give me another word for a person's bottom.
 

88

BUTT/BUTTOCKS

46

TUSH

6

ARSE

11

BEHIND

4

BOOTY

7

REAR

4

BUM

6

RUMP

4







Tell me something you'd sell today if you were offered a million dollars for it.
 

88

HOUSE

39

BODY/TESTICLE

6

CAR

20

FAMILY MEMBER

5

JEWELRY

6

COMIC BOOKS

3

BASEBALL CARDS

6

ART/PAINTING

3







Name a hole where only an idiot would stick a firecracker.
 

88

BUTT

36

GAS TANK

6

EAR

13

TOILET

6

NOSE

11

BOTTLE

4

MOUTH

9

PIPE/TAIL PIPE

3







Name an animal a nearsighted dogcatcher might mistake for a dog.
 

88

COYOTE

21

RACCOON

9

FOX

20

POSSUM

4

WOLF

16

GOAT

3

CAT

12

SKUNK

3







I won't be using that housesitter again -- not after they did what?
 

88

THREW A RAGER

20

SLEPT/IN MY BED

7

TRASHED/BURNED HOME

19

HAD BOO OVER

7

ROBBED ME

18

MY HUBBY

3

RAIDED FOOD/DRINK

11

DIDN'T FLUSH

3







Name something in your dreams that you might be riding on naked.
 

87

HORSE

45

UNICORN

5

BABE/BRADLEY COOPER

13

BOAT

4

BIKE

8

WAVE

3

MOTORCYCLE

6

DOLPHIN

3







Name something a husband lives in fear that his wife will ask him for.
 

87

$$$

31

HIS PHONE

5

A DIVORCE

26

DIAMOND

3

MORE KIDS

10

BOYFRIEND/A 3RD

3

HELP W/TO-DO LIST

6

LET HER MA MOVE IN

3







Name something grandpa might start doing that could make grandma suspect he has a secret lover.
 

87

GO OUT/LATE

30

GIFTS/FOR LOVER

6

USE/HIDE PHONE

15

TAKING VIAGRA

5

COLOGNE

12

BATHING

4

DRESS UP/CARDIGAN

11

BEING HAPPY

4







Fill in the blank: A pirate might say in his online dating profile, "I'm looking for that special woman who knows how to ______."
 

87

SAIL

30

DRINK RUM

8

ROB/GET TREASURE

14

SAY "ARRR"

6

WALK PLANK

11

"SHIVER ME TIMBER"

6

COOK GRUB

8

USE SWORD

4







You might want to learn magic just so you can make who disappear?
 

87

BOSS/COWORKER

24

MY IDIOT MATE

6

EX

23

WORST ENEMY

5

IN-LAW

12

MY AWFUL MOTHER

3

POLITICIAN

11

MY NEIGHBORS

3







Name something grandpa wants to know about a woman before he dates her.
 

86

AGE/UNDER 30?

40

TEETH/EAT SOLIDS?

6

STACK OF CRISPIES?

11

SINGLE?

6

COOK?

9

SEX LIFE?

5

IS SHE HOT?

6

GRANDKIDS?

3







Farmer Bob got drunk and attached the automatic milking machine to what?
 

86

HIS DINGUS/SELF

27

HIS DOG

5

HIS WIFE

25

HIS CAR

3

HIS BULL

12

HIS PIG

3

HIS HORSE

9

HIS TRACTOR

2







Name the first thing grandpa did when grandma told him she was pregnant.
 

85

FAINTED

34

HEART ATTACK/DIED

6

SMILED/LAUGHED

15

"YAY!"/CLAPPED

5

CRIED

9

"WHOSE IS IT?"

5

HUGGED HER

8

GOT SLOSHED

3







Name something you'd find in the world's worst gas station bathroom.
 

85

PEE/POO/ON WALLS

25

CLOGGED TOILET

5

NO TOILET PAPER

21

DEAD BODY

3

ROACHES/BUGS

19

DRUGS/SYRINGE

3

VOMIT

6

NO SOAP

3







Name someone you'd be shocked to hear say to you, "Let's get naked."
 

85

BOSS

23

CELEB/GEORGE CLOONEY

8

FRIEND

14

NEIGHBOR

7

PARENTS

13

TEACHER

5

CLERGY

11

IN-LAW

4







Tell me a place you see people behaving badly.
 

84

BAR/CLUB

46

SCHOOL

4

STORE/CHECKOUT

12

STRIP JOINT

4

JAIL

7

CONCERT

3

LAS VEGAS

5

PLANE

3







Name something that you hope Bad Grandpa doesn't do at your birthday party.
 

84

GET NAKED

28

SHOW UP

6

2-TOOT SALUTE

19

HIT ON GUESTS

6

GET DRUNK

11

TALK/POLITICS

5

YELL/CUSS

6

SING PERRY COMO

3







Because it's hell, there's no toilet paper there. Instead, everyone uses what?
 

84

THEIR HANDS

28

FIREBALLS

7

SANDPAPER

15

PINE CONES

6

ROCKS/COAL/LAVA

11

CACTUS

4

POISON IVY/LEAF

10

PAPER/CVS RECEIPT

3







Name the most embarrassing public place to throw up.
 

84

RESTAURANT

27

SCHOOL

5

CHURCH

23

WEDDING

4

MALL/STORE

12

BAR/DANCE FLOOR

3

WORK

7

THEME PARK

3







Name an S word grandpa might use to describe grandma's bottom.
 

84

SAGGY

25

SOFT

7

SEXY

20

SASSY

3

SWEET

18

SLIPPERY

2

SQUISHY

7

SUGAR

2







Name something a male stripper called the Pool Boy might be holding onstage.
 

83

NET/SKIMMER

39

BEACH BALL

4

HOSE

11

SPEEDO/TRUNKS

4

POOL NOODLE

11

HIMSELF

4

LIFE PRESERVER

7

FLOAT/RAFT

3







Nothing says "I love you" like what?
 

83

FLOWERS

19

MONEY, HONEY!

6

DIAMONDS/JEWELRY

17

SAYING IT!

5

A BIG HUG/KISS

15

LISTENING

4

FOOD/CANDY

13

CLEANING HOUSE

4







To save money, what do you worry your family might bury you in instead of a casket?
 

82

BOX

41

LAKE/WATER

4

BAG/POTATO SACK

18

URN

3

YARD/RANDOM HOLE

6

PLASTIC WRAP/TARP

3

TIN CAN

4

DUMPSTER

3







Name something you might find in your rental car that would make you suspect the last person who rented it was Santa Claus.
 

82

BAG OF GIFTS

27

NAUGHTY/NICE LIST

7

SANTA SUIT/HAT

19

REINDEER FOOD

6

COOKIES/MILK

8

FORGOTTEN ELF

4

CANDY CANES

7

JINGLE BELLS

4







What might a guy with man boobs have in his cleavage?
 

81

CHEETOS/FOOD

35

WALLET/MONEY

7

CHEST HAIR

12

PHONE

5

LINT/DIRT

8

BEER CAN

4

SWEAT

7

CIGS/CIGARS

3







Tell me a place Bad Grandma got banned from.
 

80

CHURCH

19

STRIP JOINT

8

BIKER BAR

17

STORE/WALMART

5

SENIOR HOME

15

GOLDEN CORRAL

3

BINGO PARLOR

10

THEATER

3







Name something a vampire hopes a person doesn't do while he's biting their neck.
 

78

FIGHT/KILL HIM

19

LET ONE RIP

9

GRAB/EAT GARLIC

11

SCREAM

8

BITE BACK

10

HURL

6

SNEEZE/COUGH

10

DIE

5







Name something most husbands wear but wouldn't wear unless their wives forced them to.
 

76

SUIT/TUX/TIE

42

PINKS/PASTELS

5

WIFE'S CLOTHES

9

WEDDING RING

4

UGLY SWEATER

5

PJ'S/ONESIE

3

UNDIES/THONG

5

CONDOM/WILLY WRAP

3







Tell me the greatest rock and roll band of all time.
 

75

THE BEATLES

23

AEROSMITH

6

THE ROLLING STONES

11

KISS

6

AC/DC

10

QUEEN

6

LED ZEPPELIN

8

METALLICA

5







Name a famous professional athlete that seems superhuman.
 

71

MICHAEL JORDAN

24

THE ROCK

5

TOM BRADY

13

SHAQ

5

SIMONE BILES

10

PATRICK MAHOMES

4

DAVID BECKHAM

6

LEBRON JAMES

4







Name something in a sporting goods store that's hard to steal by putting it down your pants.
 

71

BASEBALL BAT

20

TREADMILL

5

GOLF CLUB

16

TENNIS RACKET

4

BASKETBALL

11

HOCKEY STICK

4

FISHING ROD

7

FOOTBALL

4







A dentist would charge you double if you had big teeth like what animal?
 

71

HORSE

17

SHARK

6

WALRUS

16

HIPPO

4

BEAVER

13

LION

4

ELEPHANT

7

TIGER

4







Knowing your luck, if you're reincarnated as an animal, it would be what kind of animal?
 

65

BUG/DUNG BEETLE

17

DONKEY/MULE

6

DOG

12

RAT/MOUSE

5

SKUNK

9

CAT

5

CHICKEN/BIRD

6

SNAKE

5







What would you hate your lover to say your bottom feels like when they squeeze it?
 

62

JELL-O

20

JELLY

4

COTTAGE CHEESE

13

PILLOWS

4

MARSHMALLOWS

7

ROCKS

4

SPONGE

6

DOUGH/PLAY-DOH

4







Name an animal that would never be the name of a sports car.
 

61

SLOTH

17

MOUSE/RAT

5

TURTLE/TORTOISE

13

DOG

5

SNAIL

7

SKUNK

4

ELEPHANT

6

OPOSSUM

4







Back to index