Name something a wedding and a funeral have in common.
 

100

FAMILY/GUESTS

41

RECEPTION/FOOD

9

FLOWERS

15

CEREMONY

8

CHURCH/CLERGY

12

EMOTIONS/TEARS

3

DRESSING UP

10

MUSIC/I WILL SURVIVE

2







We asked 100 married women...
Name something you think your husband has hidden around the house somewhere.
 

100

MONEY

35

WEED

5

PORN/GRANNY PORN

29

PHONE #S/OF SKANKS

5

CIGS/PALL MALLS

10

TOOLS

4

DIRTY CLOTHES

9

FOOD/CAN OF SPAM

3







We asked 100 married women...
Give me one word you'd use to describe the last kiss your man gave you.
 

100

WARM

27

SWEET

5

SLOPPY

25

PERFECT

4

WET

21

COLD

2

QUICK

14

HAPPY

2







Name a part of your body that might hit you in the face when you're bouncing on a trampoline.
 

100

MY ARM

26

MY HAIR

4

MY LEG/KNEE

26

MY BELLY

4

MY MILK WAGONS

20

MY FOOT

2

MY HAND/FINGER

16

MY MAN APPLES

2







We asked 100 married men...
Name something you've learned not to do if your wife is watching.
 

100

FLIRT

24

MAKE FUN OF HER

7

EYE-BANG CHICKS

24

SCRATCH MY CRACK

5

PICK MY NOSE

22

COMPLAIN

3

BE LAZY/LIE AROUND

12

GIVE DIRTY LOOK

3







Name something a wife tells her hubby he's lucky to have.
 

99

HER FOR A WIFE

81

CHILDREN

2

FOOD/DINNER

4

HAPPINESS

2

MONEY

3

HAIR ON HIS HEAD

2

SEX/ONCE A MONTH

3

A JOB

2







Fill in the blank: A troll can get a supermodel if he's got what?
 

99

MOOLA!/GOLD

66

FAB HAIR

2

HOT BOD/MAGIC WAND

13

STILTS

2

PERSONALITY/CHARM

10

NICE SKIN

2

BRAINS

2

POWER, BABY!

2







We asked 100 married women...
Sometimes your husband acts like his brain is the size of what fruit?
 

99

GRAPE

57

CHERRY

5

PLUM

12

BLUEBERRY

4

RAISIN

9

APPLE

3

MELON/WATERMELON

6

KIWI

3







We asked 100 married men...
Name an animal your wife sounds like in bed.
 

99

CAT/KITTEN

54

COW

6

BABOON/MONKEY

11

BEAR

5

DOG

8

HORSE

5

SEAL

7

BIRD/CROW

3







If Santa Claus was having a going out of business sale, tell me something that might be up for sale.
 

99

SLEIGH

44

SANTA SUIT/HAT

5

TOYS/PRESENTS

18

MRS. CLAUS

3

ELVES

16

CANDY CANES

2

REINDEER/PRANCER

9

STOCKINGS/SOCKS

2







We asked 100 women...
What has your man long since forgotten he shouldn't do at the dinner table?
 

99

BURP

44

BLOW HIS NOSE

6

SLURP

14

WATCH TV

4

PHONE CALL/TEXT

13

ELBOWS ON TABLE

4

CHEW W/ MOUTH OPEN

11

EAT BARE-CHESTED

3







Name a part of a fish you wouldn't want to find in your fish taco.
 

99

EYEBALLS

37

SCALES

7

HEAD/BRAINS

18

POOPER

5

BONES

15

GILLS

4

FINS/TAIL FIN

10

GUTS

3







We asked 100 married men...
Between us, name something your mother-in-law has that's big.
 

99

HER MOUTH

36

HEAVENLY HOOTERS

9

HER HEART

15

HER BELLY

5

ATTITUDE/EGO

15

HER WITCH NOSE

5

SPANKABLE BOOTY

11

HER HAIR/BEEHIVE

3







We asked 100 women...
Name a furry animal costume you'd like your man to wear to bed.
 

99

BEAR/GRIZZLY

28

MONKEY/ORANGUTAN

8

TIGER

24

FOX

7

LION

14

DOG

5

LEOPARD

10

KOALA

3







Name something that would be hard to do if you had a really small tongue.
 

98

LICK/EAT

60

TOUCH NOSE W/ IT

4

KISS/TONSIL HOCKEY

11

BLOW BUBBLES

3

TALK/PRONOUNCE

9

STICK IT OUT

2

WHISTLE

7

TIE A CHERRY STEM

2







Name something to which Steve Harvey owes his good fortune.
 

98

COMEDY/BIG MOUTH

41

LUCK

3

TV/FAMILY FEUD

31

GOD/FAITH

3

HIS HOT FACE/SMILE

9

INVESTING/MONEY

2

HIS PRETTY VOICE

7

HIS WIFE MARJORIE

2







Name an occupation for which a man greases himself up.
 

98

MECHANIC

34

PROCTOLOGIST/DR.

5

BODYBUILDER

24

MODEL

4

WRESTLER

17

PORN STAR

4

STRIPPER

8

HUMAN CANNONBALL

2







Fill in the blank: A woman might tell her man, "I'll shave my legs when you start shaving your" what?
 

98

FACE/BEARD

32

HAIRY BUTT/CRACK

7

BACK

22

ARMPITS

7

SASCROTCH

19

HEAD

2

CHEST

7

LEGS

2







We asked 100 married men...
Name something your wife has that's bigger than yours.
 

98

JUICY BOOTY

19

RING

12

MOUTH/VOICE

16

BANK ACCT./INCOME

12

FROST DETECTORS

15

HAIR

9

CLOSET

12

CAR

3







Name someplace a cheating husband has a romantic encounter with his mistress.
 

97

HOTEL/MOTEL

68

RESTAURANT

4

HIS/HER HOUSE

6

IN THE CAR

3

BAR

6

LAS VEGAS

3

MOVIE

5

AT WORK

2







Name something a college kid might buy with the money his parents send him for food.
 

97

KEG/BOOZE

53

BOOKS/MAGAZINES

5

VIDEO GAME/CONSOLE

16

PORN

2

POT/DRUGS

10

LAPTOP/TABLET

2

FOOD/RAMEN NOODLE

7

NEW IPHONE

2







We asked 100 men...
Which part of your body gets the most exercise?
 

97

MY LEGS

41

MR. BONE DANGLES

6

MY ARMS

17

MY ABS/WAIST

2

MY HANDS/FINGERS

15

MY BUTT/POOP CHUTE

2

MY MOUTH/TONGUE

12

MY BRAIN

2







Name something a nude magician might pull a rabbit out of.
 

97

HIS HAT

44

HIS HAIR

3

HIS HAM FLOWER

36

THIN AIR

2

HIS EAR

5

ITS CAGE

2

HIS MOUTH

3

A BOX

2







Name something you might grab hold of during a really great kiss.
 

97

BUTT CHEEKS

36

ARMS

8

HAIR

16

NECK

5

HER CROWD PLEASERS

14

BACK OF HEAD

3

FACE

13

HANDS

2







Give me a word starting with the letter "H" that most men love to be called.
 

97

HONEY/HON

35

HERO

4

HANDSOME

26

HONEST

4

HUNK

13

HUGE

2

HOT

11

HUNG

2







Name something you want to do right after a marathon lovemaking session.
 

97

FALL ASLEEP

34

CUDDLE/SPOON

10

EAT/PORK RINDS

14

BATHE/BRUSH TEETH

10

SMOKE/CIGAR

12

DO IT AGAIN!

4

DRINK/WATER/BOOZE

11

PEE

2







Name something babies look cute wearing that you'd look silly wearing.
 

97

BONNET/DUCKY HAT

31

FOOTIE PAJAMAS

3

ONESIE/ROMPER

29

BOOTIES

3

BIB

14

HEADBAND/BOW

3

DIAPER

12

TUTU

2







We asked 100 married women...
Name a circus act that reminds you of your man's lovemaking style.
 

97

TRAPEZE/ACROBAT

30

CLOWN

11

LION TAMER

19

HUMAN CANNONBALL

5

TIGHTROPE WALKER

16

FIRE-EATER

3

RINGMASTER

11

KNIFE THROWER

2







We asked 100 single people...
Name a place you go to hoping to find your soul mate.
 

97

BAR/CLUB

29

MOVIE THEATER

5

CHURCH

25

RESTAURANT/SIZZLER

4

GROCERY STORE

15

LIBRARY

3

PARTY/BBQ

13

PARK/BUSHES

3







We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: Compared to other men, I'm a much better what?
 

97

LOVER/SEX GOD

29

GOLFER/ATHLETE

11

LISTENER

20

GARDENER

8

HUBBY/MATE

14

THINKER

2

KISSER/TONGUE SUCKER

11

PERSON/MAN

2







We asked 100 men...
Name a way you try to hide it when you're about to cry.
 

97

SNEEZE/COUGH/"AHEM"

28

YAWN

6

TURN/LOOK AWAY

22

EAT AN ONION

5

RUB EYES/FACE

15

HOLD IT ALL IN

4

LEAVE/WALK AWAY

14

BITE LIP

3







We asked 100 married women...
Name something you'd like to know about your husband's ex-girlfriends.
 

97

GOOD IN BED?

23

SMART OR DUMB?

7

WHY THE BREAKUP?

19

NOTHING AT ALL

6

PRETTY OR TROLL?

18

STILL TALK?

5

BODY/CUP SIZE?

17

CHEAT?/SLUTTY HO?

2







We asked 100 married women...
Name something else you wish Viagra made your husband better at.
 

97

LISTENING

18

HAVING EMOTIONS

12

MAKING MONEY

15

ROMANCE/KISSING

11

CLEANING

15

TALKING

8

REPAIRS/DIY

13

REMEMBERING

5







Name a reason a man might let the woman do all the talking on a first date.
 

96

SHY/NERVOUS

53

SHE WON'T SHUT UP

4

GET TO KNOW HER

14

MUTE/MEDICAL PROB.

4

BORED/NO INTEREST

8

HE HAS BAD BREATH

3

SHE'S HOT/WANTS HER

8

HE'S TIRED

2







Fill in the blank: Your lover is like really good ice cream because they are what?
 

96

SWEET

49

CREAMY

8

SMOOTH

13

SOFT

3

TASTY/DELISH

10

FUN TO LICK

2

COLD/COOL

9

MELT'G/IN MY ARMS

2







We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: When I get to heaven, I sure hope they have lots of what?
 

96

HOT KINKY CHICKS

49

MY FAMILY/FRIENDS

7

FOOD/CHEESE WHIZ

13

GUYS/BROS

4

SPORTS/FISHING

9

BEER/BOOZE

4

WEED/GOOD DOOBAGE

7

T.P./WHEN I POO-POO

3







For her cheating husband's funeral, what might the wife tell the funeral director to skip?
 

96

EULOGY/KIND WORDS

44

FLOWERS

6

"THE WHOLE DANG THING"

18

DRESS'G HIM/PANTS

4

VIEWING/WAKE

12

EMBALMING HIM

3

COFFIN/USE TRASH BAG

7

SONG/MICHAEL BOLTON

2







When the Jolly Green Giant sneezes, name a vegetable that comes out of his nose.
 

96

PEAS

41

SPINACH

5

BEANS/GREEN BEANS

19

ASPARAGUS

5

CORN/NIBLETS

14

BRUSSELS SPROUTS

3

BROCCOLI

7

CARROTS

2







Name a specific place on your body where your mom used to kiss you that she'd better not now.
 

96

MY BELLY

38

MY CHEEK

7

MY LIPS

23

MY KNEE/LEG

5

MY BISCUIT

9

MY FOOT

3

MY FOREHEAD

9

MY NECK

2







We asked 100 married women...
Name something you wish your man would not take his shirt off to do.
 

96

MOW/YARD WORK

38

GO TO THE STORE

5

GO SWIMMING

20

DRAIN LIZARD/POOP

5

WASH THE CAR

15

BOINK ME

3

COOK OUT

8

EAT

2







We asked 100 men...
What would you do if a woman you didn't know pinched your bottom?
 

96

SMILE/LAUGH

34

BLUSH

3

PINCH/COP A FEEL

33

TURN/STARE

3

GET HER NUMBER

13

WHY?/HOW DARE YOU!

2

THANK HER

6

TONGUE KISS HER

2







Name something a wife might buy if she suspects her husband's cheating on her.
 

96

CAMERA/RECORDER

31

DIVORCE LAWYER

7

GUN/WEAPON

28

PRIVATE EYE

7

LINGERIE/NEW DUDS

8

DIAMONDS/JEWELRY

5

GPS/TRACK'G DEVICE

7

CONDOMS/DINK WRAP

3







Name something a divorced man hopes his ex-wife will do.
 

96

DIE/EATEN BY HYENAS

30

NO LAWYER/ALIMONY

10

GO AWAY/MOVE

21

BECOME FAT COW

4

REMARRY/NEW CHUMP

16

BE SINGLE FOREVER

3

COME BACK/FOR BOOTY

10

SHARE THE KIDS

2







Name a specific gift a little boy might give to his first little girlfriend.
 

96

FLOWER/DANDELION

29

A FROG

6

CANDY/GUM

28

BLING/PASTA BRACELET

6

TOY/DOLL

15

A KISS

3

VALENTINE/CARD

7

A ROCK

2







We asked 100 women...
Name something specific a man does in the middle of a kiss that would make you push him away.
 

96

BURP

29

SNEEZE/COUGH

6

BITE/TILL I BLEED

27

LAUGH

4

CUT THE CHEESE

13

CRAZY TONGUE ACTION

3

DROOL/SPIT IN THROAT

12

FONDLE/MY HOT FANNY

2







Name a gift a woman gets from her boss that would make her husband suspicious.
 

96

CLOTHES/PANTIES

28

CANDY

4

FLOWERS

23

TRIP/TO BELIZE

3

JEWELRY/RING

20

CASH

2

PERFUME

14

VIBRATOR/ENGRAVED

2







We asked 100 single men...
What might a girl tell you at the end of a date that would ruin the whole evening?
 

96

MARRIED/TAKEN

28

I'M PREGNANT

10

LET'S BE PALS, BRO

19

WAS A GUY/YESTERDAY

4

I DIG CHICKS

17

LOVE YOU/MARRY ME

3

DON'T CALL ME

12

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT

3







We asked 100 men...
If you like big, beautiful women, name a place you might go to find them.
 

96

BUFFET/RESTAURANT

21

BAR/CLUB

12

WEIGHT LOSS CENTER

18

GYM/HEALTH CLUB

9

GROCERY/MARKET

13

WALMART

7

SWEETS/DONUT SHOP

13

STRIP JOINT

3







Fill in the blank: You'd think twice about swatting a fly if it landed on your what?
 

95

ANSWER1

S1

ANSWER5

S5

ANSWER2

S2

ANSWER6

S6

ANSWER3

S3

ANSWER7

S7

ANSWER4

S4

ANSWER8

S8







We asked 100 married men...
When you're hot to trot, name something you see your wife wearing that's like a cold shower.
 

95

SWEATS

58

GRANNY PANTIES

5

FLANNEL/PJS

12

SWEATER/TURTLENECK

4

MOM JEANS

7

MUD MASK

2

COVERALLS/OVERALLS

5

OLD ROBE

2







Name something you hope you don't do when airport security pats you down.
 

95

CUT A MUFFIN

55

FLINCH/JUMP

3

GIGGLE/LAUGH

15

GET MAD/CUSS OUT

3

ENJOY IT/PITCH TENT

10

BURP

2

SLAP/HIT THEM

5

PEE/SPEW POO

2







Name a topic that's just too much information on a first date.
 

95

SEX/LOVE LIFE/EXES

55

MONEY/SALARY

4

TOILET/POO SCHEDULE

12

POLITICS

3

HEALTH/VENEREAL WART

9

RELIGION

2

FAMILY/FEUDS

8

KIDS

2







Name someone who calls you at work that you'd be embarrassed to put on speakerphone.
 

95

OVERBEAR'G MOM/DAD

53

DOCTOR/VD CLINIC

3

SPOUSE/HORNY MATE

19

FRIEND

3

BRAT KIDS

8

STRIPPER I MET FRI.

2

COLLECTIONS/IRS

5

MISTRESS/LOVER

2







Name something you do on the couch you should never do while driving.
 

95

LIE DOWN/SLEEP

51

BADGER THE BEAVER

4

TEXT

19

TALK ON PHONE

3

CHUG BOOZE

7

READ

3

TV/SHARKNADO 3

5

CLIP MY TOENAILS

3







Name something that squirts water.
 

95

WATER GUN

49

DONG/HER TULIP

2

HOSE/FIRE HOSE

31

SPRINKLER

2

FOUNTAIN

4

WHALE

2

BOTTLE

3

SHOWER/FAUCET

2







Name a kind of ball it might feel like a woman is pushing out when she gives birth.
 

95

BASKETBALL

49

SOCCER BALL

6

BOWLING BALL

17

MEDICINE BALL

4

FOOTBALL

8

DODGEBALL/KICKBALL

2

BEACH BALL

7

SOFTBALL

2







Name a reason a woman in a kissing booth would not want to kiss someone in line.
 

95

HE SMELLS/SMOKER

47

A RELATIVE/HER SON

5

DUDE'S SICK/HERPIN'

19

HE HAS FACIAL HAIR

3

GUY'S UGLY/NO TEETH

9

NOT INTO CHICKS

3

HE'S DIRTY/GREASY

6

HE'S HER EX

3







Name one of the little romantic things men should remember to do.
 

95

GIVE FLOWERS/GIFTS

41

COMPLIMENT/"SO SEXY"

6

KISS/ON NECK

13

COOK/TAKE TO DINNER

5

"LOVE YA, BABES"

13

HOLD HAND/CUDDLE

5

OPEN DOORS

8

REMEMBER B-DAY

4







Even though you're an adult, what might grandma do if you swear in her house?
 

95

SCOLD/CUSS ME OUT

39

WASH MOUTH W/ SOAP

4

HIT ME/WITH SPOON

37

CRINGE

2

GLARE/DIRTY LOOK

5

$ FOR SWEAR JAR

2

LAUGH

4

COVER HER EARS

2







Name something you wouldn't want to see come up from the drain in the shower.
 

95

SNAKE/SPITTING COBRA

38

RAT/RODENTS

4

ROACHFEST/BUGS

20

FROG

2

SEWAGE/BUTT DUMPLIN'

17

A USED CONDOM

2

HAIR/NOT MINE

10

DIRT/MUD

2







As his last request, what might a really cheap guy ask his friends to bring to his funeral?
 

95

$$$/COVER CHARGE

37

FLOWERS/PLASTIC

8

FOOD/COFFEE

14

A SHOVEL

3

A CASKET

14

THEIR OWN CHAIRS

3

ALCOHOL/BYOB

13

A SUIT FOR HIM

3







Name a word that rhymes with the word "gong."
 

95

BONG

35

THONG

8

SONG

14

DONG

7

PONG

10

KONG

7

LONG

8

WRONG

6







Name a quality Santa Claus has that many women wish their man had.
 

95

DUDE'S JOLLY

33

TRENDY BEARD

7

GIVES ENDLESS GIFTS

28

GOOD LISTENER

2

KIND/PATIENT

12

FAT/CUDDLY

2

MAGIC/FLIES AROUND

9

HE LASTS ALL NIGHT

2







We asked 100 married men...
Fill in the blank: I didn't know my wife was mad at me until she what?
 

95

STOPPED TALKING

29

LEFT ME

9

YELLED/CUSSED OUT

21

SLAPPED ME

4

TOLD ME SO

15

GAVE ME THAT LOOK

4

THREW ME OUT

10

DIDN'T MAKE DINNER

3







What color underwear do you think Steve Harvey's wearing?
 

95

BLACK

27

PINK

9

WHITE

26

GRAY

5

RED

12

PURPLE

3

BLUE

10

YELLOW

3







We asked 100 women...
If you owned a male version of Hooters, name something sexy you'd make the waiters wear.
 

95

G-STRING/THONG

26

TIGHT JEANS

8

BOXERS/BRIEFS

19

CHAPS/BUTTLESS

5

SPEEDO/SWIM TRUNKS

18

MUSCLE SHIRT

3

TIE/BOW TIE

13

COWBOY HAT

3







We asked 100 married men...
Name something of yours you'd hate to discover your wife cut in half.
 

95

CREDIT CARD

24

COMPUTER

8

REMOTE

23

CAR

8

MY WEENIE

14

FISHING ROD

5

LOVEMAKING SESSIONS

9

MY ALLOWANCE

4







Name something a sneaky dogcatcher might disguise himself as.
 

95

A FIRE HYDRANT

22

ANOTHER DOG

8

A MAILMAN

22

A BONE

3

A TREE/BUSH

21

A BUTCHER

2

A CAT

15

FOOD/A STEAK

2







Name a food a little kid might stick in his belly button for later.
 

94

CANDY/GUM

68

PEAS

3

CEREAL/CHEERIOS

7

CHEETOS

2

RAISINS

7

CHEESE/COTTAGE CHS.

2

PEANUT BUTTER

3

HOT DOG

2







Name a reason people pull off onto the shoulder of a highway.
 

94

FLAT/CHANGE TIRE

59

LOST/CHECK MAP

4

BROKE DOWN

12

COPS/PULLED OVER

3

TEXT/PHONE CALL

7

PEE/DEPOSIT TURDS

3

REST/TIRED

4

GOTTA HURL

2







What's the best way for a shy guy to meet women?
 

94

ONLINE/TINDER

53

JUST SMILE

5

FRIEND/BLIND DATE

10

THROUGH WORK

3

BAR/LIQUID COURAGE

9

JOIN CLUB/SPORTS

3

CHURCH

8

TALK/COMPLIMENT

3







If you see a body in the woods, name something you'd do to make sure it's dead and not sleeping.
 

94

POKE/WITH STICK

50

CHECK IF BREATHING

5

KICK IT

10

SHAKE IT

4

CHECK FOR PULSE

10

THROW ROCK/LOG AT IT

4

HELLO?/YELL

8

CALL 911

3







Name something someone might hide in their freezer.
 

94

MONEY/CASH

38

BODY/LOVER'S HEAD

5

FOOD/ICE CREAM

26

BOOZE

5

DRUGS/FAT BLUNT

8

JEWELRY/DIAMONDS

4

CREDIT CARD

6

SEX TOY/PETER PUMP

2







Name something a male stripper named "Big Baby" might have on stage with him.
 

94

PACIFIER/BINKY

31

BLANKIE

6

BIG DIAPER

23

STUFFED ANIMAL/DOLL

6

BOTTLE

14

BIB

4

RATTLE

7

CRIB

3







We asked 100 men...
Name something that makes you feel sexy.
 

94

MY LEAN/MUSCLY BOD

28

SEXY HAIRCUT

6

CLOTHES/MY MANTIES

18

WINE/LIQUID COURAGE

5

COLOGNE/BRUT

16

SHOWERING

5

ATTN. FROM A HOTTIE

12

GOING COMMANDO

4







Name something a guest might steal from a wedding.
 

94

FLOWERS

27

NAPKINS

8

GIFT/CASH

15

BRIDE/PERSON

6

SILVERWARE

14

GLASS/WINE GLASS

6

CAKE/FOOD

12

BOOZE

6







Name something a dog likes to stick his nose in.
 

94

BOWL/FOOD

24

STEAMY TURD PILE

10

A SAVORY BOOTY

23

GARBAGE/CANS

10

GROUND/GARDEN

12

TOILET WATER

2

A PUNGENT PELVIS

11

YOUR FACE

2







Name something a stripper should never wear if she has to go to court.
 

93

G-STRING/THONG

38

BIRTHDAY SUIT

4

PASTIES/TASSELS

24

SEXY DRESS/SKIRT

3

HOOKER HEELS/BOOTS

10

FEATHERS/BOA

2

FISHNET STOCKINGS

10

SKIMPY TOP

2







Name something of an ex's that a person might pee on for revenge.
 

93

CLOTHES/SHOES

37

THEIR PHOTO

4

CAR/DRIVER'S SEAT

24

THEIR GRAVE

3

BED/FURNITURE

16

THEIR PORCH/HOUSE

2

THEIR TOOTHBRUSH

5

THEIR BODY/FACE

2







What would you do if you ran into your boss at a nude beach?
 

93

RUN/LEAVE

35

HI/'SUP?

8

LAUGH/GRIN

17

BLUSH

5

LOOK AWAY/CLOSE EYES

12

SCREAM/CRY

3

HIDE

10

TAKE A PIC OF HIM

3







Name something a food handler should keep his hands out of when he's handling food.
 

93

PANTS/SWEATY CRACK

31

GARBAGE/TRASH CAN

7

HIS NOSE

22

CASH/REGISTER

7

HIS MOUTH

9

HIS HAIR

6

OTHER FOOD/RAW MEAT

8

THE TOILET

3







Name a part of the body that should never be mentioned in a love song.
 

93

PRETTY PUNANI/PETER

25

FOOT/TOE/TOENAIL

11

BEAN BLASTER

21

NOSE/NOSTRILS

6

HER PERKY PUPPIES

13

HAND/KNUCKLE

2

ARM/PIT/ELBOW

13

BELLY/FAT GUT

2







We asked 100 men...
Name a part of your body with hair that you've never once cut or trimmed.
 

93

MY PENAL COLONY

22

MY CHEST

8

MY ARMS/PITS

21

MY EYEBROWS

5

MY FURRY BUNS/CRACK

14

MY STOMACH

5

MY LEGS

13

MY EARS

5







Name something a man wears to look sexy that might cause a woman to laugh out loud.
 

93

SPEEDO

21

TIGHT JEANS/PANTS

10

THONG/G-STRING

20

MUSTACHE/BEARD

8

TOUPEE/WIG

15

HAT/FEDORA

3

TANK TOP/SEXY TOP

13

JEWELRY/CHAIN

3







Name something a woman finds that gives her a thrill.
 

92

CASH/CREDIT CARD

38

PHOTO/OLD PIC

7

A SALE/GOOD DEAL

14

VIBRATOR/TOY

6

JEWELRY

9

HOT DRESS/CLOTHES

5

A STUD TO LOVE

9

CHOCOLATE

4







We asked 100 women...
As far as you're concerned, name something that makes a man undateable.
 

92

SMELLS/BAD BREATH

34

HE'S UGLY/FACIAL HAIR

3

BAD 'TUDE/PERS.

25

HE SMOKES

3

HE'S MARRIED

14

LIES/DISHONEST

3

HE DRINKS

7

SLOPPY/CLOTHES

3







If a wife literally makes her husband spend the night in the doghouse, what does he hope the dog doesn't do?
 

92

PEE/DROP A DEUCE

29

SNORE

9

FART/SILENT-VIOLENT

19

SLEEP W/ HIS WIFE

6

JOIN HIM/CUDDLE

10

MAKE LOVE TO HIM

6

BITE HIM

10

GIVE HIM FLEAS

3







We asked 100 men...
Name a fruit you'd be surprised your Fruit of the Loom underwear smelled like.
 

92

BANANAS

24

STRAWBERRIES

11

GRAPES

14

PEACHES

9

ORANGES

12

CHERRIES

6

APPLES/SOUR APPLE

11

PEARS

5







If a wife notices her cheating husband's hickey, name something he might say bit him.
 

91

BUG/SPIDER

44

VACUUM CLEANER

5

DOG

23

MONKEY

2

CAT

7

RACCOON

2

BAT

6

LEECH

2







Name something that's half black and half white.
 

91

ZEBRA

42

YIN-YANG SYMBOL

4

COOKIE/OREO

24

COW

3

NEWSPAPER

8

GIANT PANDA

3

PEOPLE

4

PIANO KEYBOARD

3







Name something you'd never do in public that you do freely at home.
 

91

CHILL NUDE/UNDIES

30

SCRATCH

4

FART/IN A JAR

19

TICKLE THE TAMALE

4

PICK NOSE/EAT IT

17

PEE/CHOKE A BROWNIE

3

WATCH TV/HOUSEWIVES

11

GO COMMANDO/NO BRA

3







Fill in the blank: At the wedding, the bride got so drunk, she kept her bouquet and tossed her what?
 

91

"COOKIES"/MEAL UP

28

BRA/PANTIES

9

WEDDING RING

12

GARTER

8

VEIL

10

DRINK/GLASS

7

SHOES

10

GROOM

7







Name something a girl should not wear when meeting her boyfriend's parents.
 

91

SKIMPY TOP

27

DAISY DUKES

7

TINY SKIRT/DRESS

25

PIERCING/TONGUE

4

BIKINI/SWIMSUIT

15

HER BIRTHDAY SUIT

2

LINGERIE/NIGHTIE

9

WHORISH MAKEUP

2







We asked 100 single women...
Name something you hope a date doesn't do right after you kiss him.
 

91

WIPE HIS MOUTH

26

COUGH

7

BURP

19

THROW UP

5

GAG

14

CRINGE

4

LEAVE/RUN AWAY

12

SNEEZE

4







If you were squeezed really hard, name something that might come shooting out of you.
 

91

PEE/FLYING TURD

23

SPIT

8

JUICY FART

16

AIR/BREATH

7

BARF/BLOOD

15

SOUNDS/CUSSING

6

BLOOD

12

SNOT

4







We asked 100 women...
Name something that, if your husband tells you to get it, you'll tell him to get lost.
 

91

HIS MEAL/DESSERT

21

A BEER/BEVERAGE

10

THE REMOTE

18

HIS SLIPPERS

8

PHONE

11

HIS LOVER/A HOOKER

6

THE DOOR

11

SEXY LINGERIE

6







We asked 100 married men...
Admit it -- just once, you'd like to tell your wife that she's what?
 

91

ANNOY'G PAIN IN A#$

20

BOSSY

9

A HEIFER

17

FRIGID/BAD IN BED

7

WRONG/FULL OF IT

16

BAT-CRAP CRAZY

5

AN AWFUL COOK

12

STUPID/BRAINLESS

5







We asked 100 married men...
Name something your wife does just like a guy.
 

91

CROP DUST

15

PLAY SPORTS

11

EAT

13

WORK

11

WATCH TV

13

EXERCISE/BENCH 250

9

BELCH

11

DRINK/KEG STAND

8







Name something men love to discuss that starts with the letter "C."
 

90

CARS

57

COOKING

4

CHICKS

9

CRUSHES

3

CARDS

6

COORS

3

CASH

5

CRACK

3







Name something a man thinks he's so good at that he should be given a Ph.D. in it.
 

90

PAGING DR. NOOKIE

53

SPORTS/FRISBEE

3

FIXING/BUILDING

11

COUCH POTATO-OLOGY

3

UNDERSTAND'G WOMEN

7

LOGIC/THINKING

3

DRIVING/DIRECTIONS

7

BARBECUING

3







Name a word or phrase a man might use to describe a freeway and a woman.
 

90

FAST

44

DANGEROUS

6

BUSY

9

WIDE

6

EASY

9

BUMPY

4

CURVY

8

HIGHWAY/TO HELL

4







Name a specific occupation in which you might have to hurt someone.
 

90

POLICE OFFICER

39

BODYGUARD

5

BOXER

15

MILITARY

5

DOCTOR/DENTIST

14

NURSE

3

WRESTLER

6

FOOTBALL PLAYER

3







We asked 100 men...
Name the first part of a woman you touch to get her in the mood.
 

90

KNOCKERS/NIPPLES

27

HER SHOULDERS

7

HER NECK

20

HER LEGS/THIGHS

7

HER CREAMY CABOOSE

13

HER HANDS/PALMS

5

HER FACE/LIPS

7

HER BACK

4







Name something you'd hate to find out people put in your brownies.
 

89

DRUGS/POT/LSD

51

LAXATIVES

4

POO/MANURE

11

DIRT

4

HAIR

7

POISON

3

NUTS/PISTACHIOS

6

FRUIT/RAISINS

3







Name a gift that would be insulting if a woman received it from her mother-in-law.
 

89

COOK/SELF-HELP BOOK

41

SEX TOYS

6

CLOTHES/XL-SIZED

13

MAKEOVER/BOOB JOB

5

CLEANING TOOLS

13

BIRTH CONTROL

2

DEODORANT/SOAP

7

EXERCISE MACHINE

2







Name something friends e-mail you pictures of that you wish they wouldn't.
 

89

THEIR UGLY KIDS

32

THEIR FOOD/RECIPES

5

ANIMALS/ROADKILL

24

THEIR VACATION

3

THEM/NUDE & LEWD

13

POLITICAL MEMES

3

PORN/SOVIET PORN

6

THEIR POOP

3







Fill in the blank: A guy knows he's had too much to drink when he tries to pick up his ________.
 

89

SISTER

28

MOM

8

OWN WIFE

22

NIGHTMARE EX

5

FRIEND/BEST BUD

11

CAR/WITH ONE HAND

4

MOTHER-IN-LAW

8

BOSS' WIFE

3







If you're going to hell anyway, name a food you should bring along for roasting.
 

89

MARSHMALLOW

28

RIBS

8

WIENER/SAUSAGE

12

WHOLE PIG

8

STEAK

11

TURKEY

8

CHICKEN

11

NUTS/CHESTNUTS

3







Fill in the blank: After the champagne bottle exploded, the cork got stuck in my what?
 

89

CEILING

19

NOSE

13

MOUTH/THROAT

18

EAR

5

HAIR

14

BRA/GLAND CANYON

3

EYE

14

CORN CHUTE/BUTT

3







Name something you might throw at a waiter if you couldn't get his attention.
 

88

NAPKIN

44

MENU

6

KNIFE/SPOON/FORK

10

MONEY/CHANGE

5

BREAD/PEAS/FOOD

9

WORDS/CUSS-A-THON

4

WATER/GLASS

7

THE STINK EYE

3







Good or bad, name something a man gives a woman to remember him by.
 

88

RING/JEWELRY

42

HIS DUDS/RIPE UNDIES

7

FLOWERS

9

THE CLAP/AN STD

6

A HICKEY

7

A BABY

6

A PIC/HIS 8 X 10

7

A KISS/HIS TONGUE

4







We asked 100 men...
Name something you wish you could take with you to heaven when you die.
 

88

MY DOG/PETS

30

MY ULTRA HDTV

9

MY CELL PHONE

14

BEER

5

MY WIFE/FAMILY

12

MY BUDS/BROSKIS

4

MY CAR

11

VIDEO GAMES

3







We asked 100 single women...
Name something you buy in a hardware store that reminds you of your love life.
 

88

SCREWDRIVER

24

PLUNGER

8

HAMMER

17

HOSE

7

NUTS

12

TAPE MEASURE

6

SCREWS

9

WRENCH

5







Name something the bachelor probably doesn't even know about the woman he kisses.
 

88

PAST LOVERS

21

HER JOB

5

HER NAME

19

WHO HER FAMILY IS

5

HAS STDS/THE HERPS

15

SHE'S A MAN

5

HER AGE

14

HER DENTAL HYGIENE

4







Name an urge you should resist.
 

87

OVEREAT/FRIED OREOS

41

SPEND/SHOP

4

SMOKE CIGS

16

ASSAULT/HIT

4

A FLING/WITH COUSIN

13

STEAL

3

DRINK/JAGER SHOT

4

PEE/POO/IN PRISON

2







What would you do if you saw your neighbor mowing their lawn in the nude?
 

87

LAUGH/SMILE

29

NOT LOOK/CLOSE EYES

6

WATCH/OGLE

16

SCREAM

4

TAKE PIC/VIDEO

15

CLOSE MY BLINDS

4

CALL COPS

9

CONFRONT/YOU OK?

4







We asked 100 men...
When a woman says she's going to slip into something more comfortable, name something you don't expect to see her wearing.
 

87

SWEATS

23

HEELS/BOOTS

7

PAJAMAS/NIGHTGOWN

21

COAT/PARKA

4

JEANS/SNOW PANTS

16

SUIT/PANTSUIT

4

LINGERIE/CORSET

9

A SNUGGIE

3







Name a reason someone might be squirming.
 

87

SCARED/NERVOUS

21

BUGS/LICE/WORMS

5

CALL OF DOODY/PEE

21

BORED/RESTLESS

4

LYING/GUILTY

16

PAIN/INFECTION

4

ITCHY/HEMORRHOIDS

12

TIGHT UNDIES/DUDS

4







Name something furry you should never try to pet.
 

87

LION

21

RACCOON

11

SKUNK

16

SPIDER/TARANTULA

5

BEAR

15

BADGER

3

TIGER

13

PERSON/THEIR ARMPIT

3







We asked 100 married women...
Fill in the blank: Before I got married, I had no idea how often men what?
 

87

BLAST CABBAGE

17

SHOWER

10

PEE/TAKE HOUR DUMP

14

SHAVE

9

SLEEP/SNORE

14

LIE

5

RIDE THE HONEY TRAIN

13

LEAVE DUDS AROUND

5







Name something that Mickey Mouse has that you don't.
 

86

BIG MOUSE EARS

36

A CLUBHOUSE

2

A TAIL

30

GOOFY

2

MINNIE/HOT BABE

7

A SQUEAKY VOICE

2

$$$/BAJILLIONS

5

FAME/POPULARITY

2







Name an animal's nose you wouldn't want your nose to look like.
 

86

PIG

27

HORSE

4

ELEPHANT

25

PLATYPUS

4

AARDVARK/ANTEATER

14

RHINO

4

APE/PROBOSCIS MONKEY

5

DOG/PUG

3







Name a place that people go looking for happiness.
 

86

BAR/CLUB

27

HOME/BEDROOM

5

CHURCH

23

LAS VEGAS/CASINO

4

PARK/DISNEYLAND

13

WITHIN THEMSELVES

3

BEACH/HAWAII

8

WEB/CRAIGSLIST AD

3







Name something a cannibal might remove from someone before eating them.
 

85

CLOTHES/SHOES

31

GUTS/INTESTINES

5

PESKY HAIRS

21

SKIN/ABBA TATTOO

5

TEETH

9

BLING

4

BONES

6

HEART

4







Name something a cat does that you hope your date doesn't do.
 

85

LICK SELF/ME

31

USE A LITTER BOX

7

SCRATCH/CLAW ME

16

SLEEP/ON MY HEAD

5

PURR

9

SPIT UP/HAIRBALL

5

SHED

8

SPRAY PEE/ON ME

4







Name something that people tie up.
 

85

SHOES/LACES

29

THEIR HAIR

5

PEOPLE/KINKY LOVER

19

"LOOSE ENDS"

4

ANIMALS/HORSE

15

PACKAGES

3

TRASH BAG

7

TRAFFIC

3







We asked 100 men...
Name a reason a desirable woman might not give you the time of day.
 

85

I'M DIRT-POOR

18

I REEK/FISH BREATH

12

I'M BUTT-UGLY

16

SHE'S STUCK-UP

5

SHE'S TAKEN/I AM

14

I'M ANCIENT

5

I'M ROTUND

12

I'M SHORT/MUNCHKIN

3







Name something specific a skydiver would hate to land on.
 

84

CACTUS/TREE

34

PAVEMENT/CONCRETE

7

BUILDING/STEEPLE

11

ELECTRIC WIRE/POLE

6

ROCKS/MTN. PEAK

11

ANIMAL/PORCUPINE

3

WATER/ICE

9

HIS HEAD

3







Name an animal that pretty much just eats, mates, and poops.
 

84

RABBIT

30

COW

6

PIG

15

DOG

6

MOUSE/RAT

11

LION

4

CAT

9

MEN/HUMANS

3







Name an animal that could suffocate in Dolly Parton's cleavage.
 

84

MOUSE/RAT

23

SQUIRREL

7

HAMSTER/GERBIL

15

CHIPMUNK

6

CAT/KITTEN

13

DOG/CHIHUAHUA

6

BIRD

10

PERSON/HER MAN

4







We asked 100 women...
Give me a word starting with "S" that describes your man's underwear.
 

84

SEXY

22

SNUG

9

SAGGY

13

SAD

7

STINKY

12

SUPERMAN

5

SHORT/SHORTS

12

STYLISH

4







Name something grandma might do at a family reunion if she's had too much to drink.
 

84

DANCE

19

YELL/CUSS OUT KIDS

9

SLEEP/PASS OUT

12

FART/IN MICROPHONE

8

SING/ETHEL MERMAN

11

GAB/TELL STORIES

8

TRIP/FALL

9

STRIP/JIGGLE JUGS

8







Name something you'd hate to find out you still have to do every day in heaven.
 

83

CLEAN/LAUNDRY

33

PEE/ROLL NUT LOGS

4

WORK/TELEMARKETING

23

BRUSH MY TEETH

3

SHAVE/MY HAIRY LEGS

9

BATHE/SHOWER

3

COOK

5

GO TO CHURCH/PRAY

3







Name something you do in your bathroom at home that you probably wouldn't do in an airplane bathroom.
 

83

SHOWER/BATHE

30

READ

6

DOWNLOAD A BROWNLOAD

18

SEX/PLAY MY FLUTE

4

SHAVE

10

SING

3

BRUSH TEETH

9

BRUSH/CURL HAIR

3







Fill in the blank: A man should never make fun of his wife when she's wearing what?
 

83

SWIMSUIT/BIKINI

27

TIGHT JEANS

5

NOTHING AT ALL

15

A WIG

5

DRESS/MUUMUU

15

PANTIES

5

PAJAMAS

8

A GIRDLE

3







Name something an angry football wife might put in her husband's jockstrap.
 

83

ITCHING POWDER

26

POISON IVY/OAK

5

BENGAY/ICY HOT

21

ICE

3

PEPPERS/HOT SAUCE

17

THORNY/SPIKY PLANT

2

BUGS/FIRE ANTS

7

SUPER GLUE

2







We asked 100 women...
Name something the pioneer women did that you could never do.
 

83

HAND WASH CLOTHES

19

CHOP WOOD

7

COOK/FROM SCRATCH

15

OBEY MEN

6

HUNT/KILL CHICKENS

14

USE OUTHOUSE/WOODS

5

HOME CHILDBIRTH

13

BATHE OUTSIDE

4







We asked 100 men...
Fill in the blank: Shopping for a wife is like shopping for a car. You want one that's what?
 

83

BEAUTIFUL

18

NEW/LOW MILEAGE

10

WELL-BUILT

13

EASY TO HANDLE

9

RELIABLE/LASTING

12

ECONOMICAL

5

FAST

11

SMOOTH/SLEEK

5







If you and your spouse got romantic while camping, what animal might the forest ranger think was in your tent?
 

82

BEAR

53

RABBIT

3

TIGER

6

COYOTE

3

DOG

6

RACCOON

3

LION

5

SNAKE

3







Name something grandma takes out to let grandpa know she's in the mood.
 

82

HER TEETH

35

CANDLES

7

BOOZE/FIREBALL SHOT

10

HER HANGIN' HOOTERS

5

LOTION/FLAVORED LUBE

9

TOY/BLOW-UP DOLL

4

NIGHTIE/LINGERIE

8

VIAGRA

4







Name something that leaves you breathless.
 

82

RUNNING/EXERCISE

33

MIND-BLOWING BOINK

5

SCENERY/SUNSETS

13

KISS/TONSIL BOXING

5

A HOTTIE/MY MATE

11

LOVE

4

COLD AIR/WIND

8

MUSIC/BARRY GIBB

3







Name something you'd hate to realize you put in the church collection plate by mistake.
 

82

CONDOM/PAPA STOPPA

32

CELL PHONE

4

$100/MONEY I NEED

22

WALLET

4

CREDIT CARD

8

RECEIPT/BAR TAB

3

JEWELRY/WATCH

6

PHONE #/MY DIGITS

3







To impress Eve, name something Adam might have put behind his fig leaf.
 

82

BIG OLE BANANA

31

BRANCH/LOG

5

APPLE/2 APPLES

22

FIGS/MORE LEAVES

4

HIS POPPED STIFFY

7

DIAMOND/JEWELRY

4

THE SERPENT

5

CUCUMBER

4







Name a part of the cow you'd hate to find in the burger you're eating.
 

82

EYEBALL

14

POOPER

10

UDDER

13

WEENIE/TESTES

9

HOOF

13

INTESTINES

7

TONGUE

11

NOSE

5







Name something at work you wouldn't want your boss to catch you holding.
 

81

MY CELL PHONE

31

FOOD/CANDY

8

A GUN

10

MYSELF/MR. ONE EYE

7

COWORKER/INTERN

8

BOOZE/NATTY LIGHT

5

BOSS' HORNY SPOUSE

8

DRUGS/DANK WEED

4







Name a place an 80-year-old man takes an 80-year-old woman on a hot date.
 

81

RESTAURANT/DENNY'S

25

ICE CREAM SHOP

6

BINGO HALL

22

DANCE HALL

5

A PARK

8

OLD FOLKS' HOME

4

THEATER/DRIVE-IN

7

STORE/CVS

4







If your grandma was dating, what question would you ask her about her boyfriend?
 

81

AGE/OVER 21?

23

HANDSOME/ANY TEETH?

6

TREAT YOU WELL?

15

LIKE/LOVE HIM?

4

GOOD IN SACK?

13

IS HE BREATHING?

4

GOOD JOB/LOADED?

13

HIS INTENTIONS?

3







If dogs took selfies, what would they snap a picture of themselves doing?
 

80

EATING/CHEWING

22

PEE/PINCHING A LOAF

9

SLEEPING

11

BARKING

7

LICKING SELVES

11

CHASE CAT/SQUIRREL

6

PLAYING/FRISBEE

9

SNIFFING BUTTS

5







Fill in the blank: Orange what?
 

79

JUICE

34

JULIUS

5

CRUSH

12

PEEL

5

IS THE NEW BLACK

9

COUNTY

3

SICLE/POPSICLE

8

SHERBET

3







Name something some people like to have on when they're making love.
 

79

MUSIC/BARRY MANILOW

25

COLOGNE

7

THROBBIN' HOOD

12

LIGHTS/DIM LIGHT'G

7

SOCKS/TUBE SOCKS

10

LINGERIE/NIGHTIE

7

NOTHING/B-DAY SUIT

7

SHOES/6-INCH HEELS

4







When most guys wear a Speedo, their package is about the size of what kind of fruit?
 

78

BANANA/PLANTAIN

26

LEMON

7

ORANGE

12

PLUM

7

GRAPES/ONE GRAPE

9

KIWI

5

APPLE

8

PEACH

4







Fill in the blank: I wish there was a pill that would make me what?
 

77

SKINNY

24

RICH

7

YOUNGER

13

TALLER

6

SEXY/ATTRACTIVE

9

HUNG/SEX BEAST

5

SMART

8

INVISIBLE

5







What might a wife be holding that she'd think, "I could really hurt my husband with this"?
 

76

KNIFE

43

BASEBALL BAT

4

PAN/SKILLET

10

FORK

3

GUN

6

ANOTHER DUDE

3

$$$/CREDIT CARD

4

GIANT VIBRATOR

3







Name something bad boys have that's bad.
 

76

ATTITUDE

29

HAIR/GREASY HAIR

4

WEAPON/SLINGSHOT

18

CRIMINAL RECORD

4

TATTOOS/ON FACE

9

A BAD-ARSE CAR

4

CIGARETTES

4

A PIMPIN' HARLEY

4







We asked 100 men...
Name something you'd be surprised a woman did while you kiss her.
 

74

LET ONE RIP

22

KEPT EYES OPEN

5

BURPED

15

WATCHED TV/MAURY

4

LAUGHED

14

BIT ME/BLOODY

4

GROPED/MY FIG

7

FELL ASLEEP

3







What's the last thing a woman wants to hear her husband say when she's in labor?
 

70

SHUT UP/RELAX

16

HURT?/YOU OK?

8

NOT SO BAD/IT'S OK

12

BREATHE, SWEETIE

7

LOVE YA SHNOOKUMS

9

I WANT A DIVORCE

5

PUSH! HARDER!

8

LET'S HAVE MORE!

5







Name something you want to get rid of, but it refuses to go away.
 

64

FAT/MILE-WIDE BOOTY

24

MY EX

6

BUGS/LICE

9

MY ZITS

5

GRAYS/BODY HAIR

6

COLD/ILLNESS

4

BILLS/TAXES

6

MY SPOUSE/MATE

4







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